tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-203619261939013162024-03-20T19:24:33.137-07:00Our Boy Brittthe story of my little brother and his fightAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14706138648602784868noreply@blogger.comBlogger175125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20361926193901316.post-50017093469134577832016-11-01T20:54:00.001-07:002016-11-01T20:54:16.122-07:002 YearsNovember 1st will always be a day I hold near and dear to my heart. I know that no matter how much time passes, no matter the events that may take place, whenever the calendar reads 11/1 it will be a day that symbolizes a lot for me and my family. <div>
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2 years ago, my little brother Britton, who at the time was 16, was on a date for a high school dance and he and his date were riding in an ATV when they lost control and it rolled. My brother was ejected and the vehicle rolled directly over him crushing his skull. Everything that happened from that point on was nothing short of miraculous. My brother was in a position where he was surely coming up on his last breaths here on this earth. His date along with some of the other kids in the group, and bypassing strangers (whom we all consider our angels on this day) played a crucial role in keeping him here with us until the life flight could arrive to their remote location. I could go on and on about everything that took place that day, and all of the tiny miracles that amounted to the saving of Britt's life. He spent 3 months in the ICU under a coma. His brain had swelled so much that had it gone a single millimeter more he wouldn't be here. For 3 months his fragile and broken body lied in a hospital bed unresponsive. I remember falling asleep next to his bed to the sound of the machine that breathed for him. I remember waking up instantly every time the monitors started beeping irregularly. The way we would all close our eyes and turn away when they would move or maneuver his body in any way. Or praying that every time they took him down for a CT scan or MRI that he would come back. I remember watching drip by drip the fluid pumping in and out of his brain, and watching his breathing tube clamp open and shut every time he took a breath. There were all these little things, hundreds of them. That consumed every bit of me. They were hard days. Going to bed at night and not knowing if we'd get a next day. My heart dropping every time I'd hear the phone ring. Scary days. Hearing the flatline on the heart monitor and dozens of nurses and doctors rushing into his room to revive him. Seeing my my mom's heart breaking from the inside out as she watched her boy hang on to his life by a thread. Listening to the way Ledger's voice would shake as he'd hold his big brothers hand tight and tell him to get better fast so they could play catch. Or the way Greyson would stand in the corner of the room, too afraid to get close becuase he didn't understand what was going on. Watching my dad try so hard to hold back his tears, but a few always slipping away. Everything was constant, it was like we were in this dream and all of our feelings and senses were being magnified. They were also good days, happy days full of blessings and love. Walking into the waiting room to find hundreds of friends and family waiting anxiously for news, and opportunities to serve us. Being there just to be there. Hundreds, everyday, for 3 months straight. The doctors and nurses that were literally sent from above to help and be with us during every second of every day. Incredible individuals who undoubtably had the skill and the spirit to save my sweet brother, and to assure and comfort my family and I in our hardest moments. </div>
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Somedays it was as if absolute fear crept inside of my bones and shook the very core of me. Not knowing if my brother would ever wake up. Not knowing if I would ever get back the Britt I so loved and adored. Not knowing or understanding how and why this had to happen to him, or how we could go on leading a normal life without our sweet boy if it were to come to that. There were times when I would doubt, times when I would question my faith, and my God. Moments where I felt like I had never experienced such sorrow and darkness. But then, somehow the light always found its way through. It was necessary to feel all of these feelings and emotions I think. Looking back on it I'm not ashamed of the fear or the doubt, becuase it paved the way for much better, stronger and more lasting feelings to mend and fix the broken and hurt parts of me. The Lord's hand put everything that needed fixing back together. I witnessed too many miracles to doubt that God was ever so present. I saw and felt things that touched my heart in ways I cant explain through words. I felt the love he had for my family and me, as well as my sweet brother. The power of prayer moved mountains for us, I know that he was conscious of our needs as well as my brothers. I know he heard and answered every single prayer from all over the world. I felt the love he had for my brother, so strongly. I didn't know a love like that existed. So deep and unconditional. I could feel the love he had for me and my family as we went through the high's and low's of each day, constantly having to lean on the strength of the atonement for comfort and peace. I gained a new appreciation and understanding of the atonement in a way I didn't know was applicable. Whenever the fear, anger, or sadness would creep in, the faith I had in God's plan and his power to perform and deliver miracles would immediately shut those feelings out. It was incredible, given the situation of my brothers health, that I could feel with such conviction that he was going to make it. That he was going to be okay. How lucky we are to have a merciful and loving God who is all knowing and all capable. I held tight to the testimony I had of God's plan during this time, and it always brought me the peace and clarity I needed. </div>
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Britton eventually reached a point in which all of his vitals were stable and he could be transferred to a rehab unit. He was still in a coma, but became responsive to commands. He was in the Neuro Rehab unit for close to 3.5 months. In his time there he regained consciousness and came out of his comatose state. He began physical therapy, where he would relearn to do everything he once did so easily. I remember some of those first weeks, learning how to give a thumbs up or thumbs down and how to shake his head yes or no. I remember the first time he was able to sit up all by himself, that took him weeks and weeks to learn. Some of the hardest days were watching him struggle time after time trying to get his body to perform the most basic functions. As hard and as disappointing as it was, he continued to try and work harder. I wish i could describe the spirit he had during those days. So determined and strong. The day we left the neuro unit was the day that Britt took his first steps on his own. I had never felt so proud of someone in my life. </div>
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When Britt was finally able to come home he was in a wheelchair and still had to be hand fed. He had to be helped in the shower, in the bathroom, getting dressed, you name it. He couldn't do anything for himself. As the days and months passed by he continued therapy every day, becoming stronger and stronger. Still facing a lot of up's and down's, he continued to progress despite the setbacks. </div>
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2 years later and here we are. Honestly, i cant believe it has been 2 whole years. To look back on the day it happened, and to see where he is now. I didn't know if we would ever get to this point, but how incredibly blessed we are to be here. Britton has come so far from that night I walked into his room and saw him for the first time after his accident. All i could see was a lifeless boy I couldn't recognize because of the trauma. When I look at Britt today I see a handsome, healthy, fun loving, and courageous man. He truly has been through the worst of it. He has faced incredible adversity. Yet, he stands with such strength. </div>
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The aftermath of a brain injury is something you cannot be prepared for. It is something you cannot predict, or know how to handle it when it happens. To say things have only improved and gotten better over the last couple of years wouldn't be entirely true. There are days and weeks that have been very comparable if not harder than those months in the ICU. Like i said in my last post, it is a different kind of hard. Britton's brain was very severely damaged. The effects it has had on him can sometimes be very difficult to handle and cope with. People always ask if he is the same Britt as before the accident. Absolutely not, but he also isn't a different person either. His injury makes it hard for him to always be in control of certain things and aspects of his life. But I cant help but look into his green eyes and see the Britt I've always known. He makes us laugh, so hard and smile so big. But he has his moments, as we all do, where things aren't a walk in the park. Everyday I thank the heavens for my mom and dad. Those two are truly heaven sent. The perfect examples of patience and christlike love. They have their hands more than full most of the days, and somehow continue to love and build our family up through it all. There's days i feel like our family is on the verge of falling completely a part, and days I feel like we are stronger than ever becuase of all of it. Britt knows and understands what has happened to him. He get's that things are different, and that he is different. This has proven to be the most difficult thing for him and his progression towards healing physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I will never pretend like I understand his situation, what he is going through and what it must feel like. But I know that he is going to have hard days, and that is okay. We have come to agreement with that, and we handle them as best as we know how. But he has and will continue to have more good days, i know that. He is working so hard towards recovery, in all aspects. He tries his best to be positive and happy, and find the good in things. I can see his desire to succeed and i admire it so much. I'm so lucky to call such an amazing boy my brother. </div>
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We sure have come far the last couple of years. Not a day goes by that I don't think about where we once were, where we are now and where we hope to go. I know that he will continue to grow and learn over time and that he can achieve anything and be anyone he wants to be. The love and support our family has received has completely changed our lives. I know Britt wouldn't be where he is today without all of your service and prayers. I still feel overwhelmed when I think back on the incredible amount of love, friendship and kindness that was shown to us, and continues to be to this day. Thank you for never giving up on him and thank you for always Believing for our Britt <3</div>
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XOXO Autumn</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14706138648602784868noreply@blogger.com140tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20361926193901316.post-19475671775349416042016-04-03T22:15:00.002-07:002016-04-03T22:48:44.384-07:00A Different Kind of HardI know it's been a while. Life, right? It's hard to ask others for help...especially when people have already done so much for you. And if you're anything like me and always trying to fix things for yourself, well then....you feel me on this. But sometimes the load is simply to heavy to bare by yourself, and you have no other options. Lately I feel like we've run out of options. So I am writing tonight, for the first time in 5ish months, because we can't fix this by ourselves. We need your help. I think my mom and dad would agree with me when I say, we feel like writing a giant SOS on a sandy beach in hopes to be rescued hahaha. We weren't prepared for this kind of thing. <div>
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If you are reading this chances are you are familiar with the story, everything that happened last November with my brother Britton. So, chances are you've already helped us more than we could ever ask. Everyone who was there for us, and for him during that time, we are forever indebted to you. Your love, support and prayers are the very reason he's where he is today. </div>
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It's strange though, because i thought the hard part was over. I mean, obviously I knew that things would never really be the same and there was going to be a very long hard road ahead...but the REALLY hard part, the part where every day was a giant question mark, yeah...that part, was supposed to be over. </div>
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But here I am, here we are as a family...18 months later, and it's a different kind of hard. A hard that cuts a little deeper, and stings a little more. So it seems. It was supposed to get easier with time. That's what we figured at least. My brother overcame a million obstacles, saw a million miracles, and continued to progress day in and day out. Sure things were different now, but it was supposed to get easier. </div><div><br></div><div>You know how every time on the movies when someone is in a coma, they just magically wake up one day and go on with their merry lives without a single problem? Well, real life's not a movie hahaha. Wish it was, right? (Someone needs to inform Nicholas Sparks) But part of me thought that with time, slowly but surely we would go on with our lives, Britt would go on with his and the problems would slowly go away and we would all live happily ever after. </div>
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Lately I've had difficulty understanding why things have been the way they are. Why does it feel like the load is getting heavier with each day? Why does it seem that my brother is spinning in a downward spiral? Why does it feel like we are hanging on by a fragile thread?</div>
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Britton has so many admirers...he's a lucky boy to have so many people who truly care about and love him. Everyday, without fail someone asks me how my brother is. Usually dozens. And I know it is the same for my parents. It's truly humbling to know that so many genuinely want to know. I feel like the past few months I've lied to them though when i answer. It's always, "he is doing really good...things are good, just slowly progressing, etc..." I wish that were true, i really really do. But how do you tell someone the truth when it's not fun to hear. I would feel ungrateful if i did. Because here we have Britt, our giant miracle. But it's true. And I don't want to sound ungrateful for all we have been blessed with, because we are so SO undeniable thankful. Everyone always wants to talk about how well he is doing, and I just nod my head and agree...but there is so much that goes on and happens that no one knows about. Cause it's hard to talk about the failures, right? So only the good is seen. And you don't want people to know that things are hard, or not not going very well...it's just human nature. The whole putting on a face thing. We all do it. </div>
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I don't know if i'm making sense, you are probably wondering what the heck i am even talking about. I don't want to go into a lot of detail because I don't want to take away from the incredible person my brother is, but he is struggling in more ways than i can say and needs prayers. There have been a lot of difficult/scary days, nights and events that have taken place over the past few months, that have really tested our faith and our foundation as a family. The anger, and frustration, along with all the damage to his brain just adds up to be something that is tearing Britt a part, piece by piece. Time after time, episode after episode, and it just starts to weigh on you. It is really hard to watch my brother go through these things. I know my parents are handling it as best as they can, and my younger brothers too...i thank the heavens for such Christlike parents with an endless supply of patience and love. They are strong people, the strongest I know, actually. But I can see them breaking. I can see my little brothers slowly starting to break too. Watching their older brother go through these things cant be easy, especially when they look up to him so much. I'm thankful we have each other to hold when things get out of hand or tough. </div>
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But we are at a point where there is nothing we can really do or say to help Britt. We've exhausted every possible solution it seems. But if there is one thing i know to be true, it is that when you think you are out of options or places to turn...you aren't. Because the only way through something like this...is through our loving Heavenly father and his Son Jesus Christ. I'm certain he needs your prayers to help him overcome the struggle that he is currently facing. I mean, it worked once right? It can surely work again. I know many of you haven't stopped praying for him, even for a second. But trust me when i say he truly needs all of the prayers and love he can get. He is weary, and lost right now. And as his older sister, I am asking you with a humble heart to please help us get him back on track. </div>
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If you are wondering what exactly he needs help with, I have been specifically praying for him, that he will rely on his testimony and put his trust and faith in God and his savior, to help him overcome difficulties. That his heart can be softened so that he may be patient, kind, loving and treat my mom, dad and brothers with respect. That whatever is going on in his brain and making him this way can be resolved or get better; maybe even find some answers from doctors on what we can do or give him to help. And last but definitely not least, for him to be happy. To learn to accept his circumstances, as hard as that may be, and decide to move forward in positivity. OH, and for him to realize and understand the importance of physical therapy and continuing to work on the little things to get better. (That's a whole other giant) I know that's a lot, but they are all very important and a part of the problems we have been dealing with lately. </div>
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Thank you for sticking with us. Through the good times and the bad. We couldn't do it without you. I realized recently that the whole 'Believe for Britton' thing was never temporary. It is something that we will always have to do...now more than ever. but believing for him and in him, will be a forever thing, an ongoing thing that will always take work, love and faith. </div>
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I need my brother to believe in himself. </div>
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<div>I need him to believe in himself the way we all believe in him. </div>
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XOXO, Autumn</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14706138648602784868noreply@blogger.com85tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20361926193901316.post-903800937485509912015-12-27T16:28:00.000-08:002015-12-27T20:29:23.163-08:00Christmas 2015<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Before you read, here is a video of our Christmas! You are about to get a real taste of what it's like to live a day in the life of the Shipp fam hahahha, prepare yourself. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It's been a minute. (and I wrote this on Christmas</span><span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">, and am now just getting around to posting it, so let's just still pretend its the 25th) Merry Christmas everyone! What a perfect day. Christmas is always so special, and obviously always the favorite (next to April Fools day if you ask me or Britton haha), no, but really, today was special. One for the books.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I have been reflecting back on last Christmas season and the overwhelming amount of love and support we received. I'll never forget all the kind and selfless acts of service that our family was shown. I just want to say thank you again, we could never express how truly grateful we are. </span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">What a difference a year can make, right? Last year during christmas, our Britt was still fast asleep in a coma at the hospital. It was easily one of the harder days. I got a polaroid camera from my grandma, and i remember asking my mom to take a picture of me, and my other two brothers by the tree. We waited for the picture to develop. I looked at it for a second and walked over to the trash to throw it away. I couldn't help but feel really sad, and a little bit upset that our 4th man wasn't in the picture with us, right where he should've been like all 16 years before. It might have been silly of me to do, but I didn't want the picture, because I didn't want to remember a christmas without Britt. Not if he was still with us.</span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">We didn't want to open any of our presents, because it just wasn't the same. Even though he was the only one missing, it felt like the entire house was empty. We all opened a few, and then sat around the living room for a little bit in silence. I can remember my mom and dad trying to be tough for us, trying to be cheerful and happy, but it was pretty clear that we were all hurting. I'll never forget how we all just held each other close and cried. My dad gave a prayer, that i'll always remember, because the spirit was so strong. Instantly there was a calmness and relief that we all felt very near to our hearts .</span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I've always thought I understood the meaning behind it all, Christmas and the birth of our Savior. But I realized, in that moment, that I never fully had until then. The presents didn't matter. The decorations, weren't important. The ham in the oven, and the fancy silverware and plates at the table. None of it mattered. It's all nice, sure...but none of it matters if you cant share it with the people you love. None of it's important if you don't know the meaning behind why you are actually doing it. </span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Jesus Christ, our Savior, our Redeemer, our Shepherd, our Strength. He was sent to earth by the Father, to lead and guide us through His perfect example and His teachings. He was and is the light and life of the world. I can't imagine what it might have been like to witness the birth of Christ. How incredible it must have been, to have been there on that holy night. Because of his birth, and his life-his sacrifice and his atonement for all mankind, we can be healed, strengthened, comforted, and so much more. All of which my family and I have seen and felt firsthand the last year or so. I remember the bittersweet feeling of last christmas, feeling of the Saviors love for us, and for my brother. Knowing that he was in the best of hands. Grateful that we had each other, and that Britt still had a chance. In a time where I felt as if this burden might be too hard to bare-came an overwhelming sense of peace and love from the Savior. I couldn't help but feel so thankful that day, that we had the opportunity to race over to the hospital to be with my brother on Christmas day, even if it wasn't quite like the other years. We kept basically all of the presents under the tree, the Christmas lights up on the house, and the decorated tree lit for almost 5 months. Nothing was coming down until Britt got home and was able to see it. I still laugh sometimes when I think about how we had Christmas lights on our house until like...May haha. You couldn't miss us, thats for sure. </span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Last night, once everyone was supposedly "asleep", I was helping my mom wrap all of the presents in my room, and we had a few out for Britt that we were about to start on. My dad was calling us so we went to go see what he needed...then all of a sudden we hear someone coming down the hallway and my parents started freaking out cause they didn't want to blow their cover...we got back into my room where all the presents were to find Britton sitting there on my bed with this confused look on his face. Maybe you just had to be there, but it was freakin hilarious...the kid had come all the way up the stairs and tried sneaking into my room cause he wanted to sleep with me. So me and my mom scrambled to hide his stuff while trying to chauffeur him out. There is a running joke in our family that he comes in like a bulldozer wherever he is, or a wrecking ball...take your pick. It's like, you better hope you don't have anything valuable or breakable lying around because if its in his path, it will be destroyed. </span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Let's just say when it came to the present count..........he was one spoiled rotten kid. I was joking with him today, and telling him how he was the favorite child cause he got so much stuff, and he just said "hey, someone's gotta make up for last year." </span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">He was also the first one up this morning....5:30am in the bathroom brushing his teeth ready to get the show on the road. But that is pretty typical these days, up at the crack of dawn...everyday. </span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">It was just one of those days that I'll always cherish. My heart has been so full of gratitude towards Heavenly Father and his son, for hearing and answering our millions of prayers and for the countless miracles and blessings that we have received. I couldn't ask for a better gift, than having my 3 boys and my mom and dad all together, cozy in our home this Christmas. It's crazy to think that a year ago today I was on my knees in my room praying with everything in me that by this time next year things would be better. And here we are, so extremely lucky and so blessed. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">He got to help out Cooper Camp with his hot chocolate stand this year. If you remember, last year...Copper donated all the money he earned to Britt for his medical bills. It meant so much to us. Each year Cooper does a christmas service project and donates all the money he makes from his yummy hot chocolate stand to the project/person. He is such a little stud, and has the greatest family around. Next year you need to go check out their Hot Cocoa stand if you haven't before. It's really yummy, and goes to a great cause! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">You guys wouldn't believe how well Britt is doing. Physically he has come such a long way. His walking is improving everyday, he hardly needs anyone to help him at all. He goes up and down the stairs by himself, showers by himself, gets dressed and brushed his teeth...all by himself. He still has a hard time with his vision, the nerves in his eyelids are still damaged so he cant see very well, but he makes do with what he's got. He still doesn't have a lot of feeling with his mouth, so eating can be a struggle but it seems like it is slowly getting a little bit better. He is going to be getting surgery on his nose soon, to align it, in hopes that it will help his breathing. He still goes to therapy a few times a week, and works on his speech too! He is adding another class this next quarter in school. The next school dance is Junior Prom, and he is going with Aspen Hickman, which he is pumped about, obviously. My dad still takes him driving a few times a week, and he just keeps getting better and better at it. Or maybe just more confident, sometimes a little too confident, so you might wanna steer clear of the 4-runner if you see it hahah. Don't say I didnt warn ya. </span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">He still has his hard days. Lots of them. I'm usually up at school, so I don't see a lot of what goes on. But just being home for the break I've gotten a good taste of it. He's still a teenage boy, who wants to be able to do teenage boy things. He gets really discouraged sometimes, and down about it all. Wishing he had his old life back, and that is something we all wish, so it's hard to explain to him that it wont ever be that same way again. I have a really hard time knowing how to help him in these situations, because it's not like I can say I understand how he is feeling, or know what he is going through. When he goes through these frustration moods, it can be pretty hard on all of us. Not knowing how to handle it, or how to comfort him, what to say or what to do to make it better, or help him understand. This has definitely been the hardest thing to deal with since we've been home. Constantly trying to keep his spirits up and keep him motivated and believing in himself. I cant imagine how often he must want to give up, but I'm so proud of him for continuing to work at things, whether it be his attitude/mentality, or his physical strength/abilities. Whenever i struggle for words I'm always quickly reminded that through Christ, and ONLY through christ, can we endure the trails and challenges we are faced with in life. I know that he relies heavily on his Father in heaven, and on his son Jesus Christ. I don't think he would be able to get through the days with that big grin on his face if he didn't. Im constantly trying to stress to him the importance of those relationships. I have been thinking of ways I can help him recently and I came across this talk from the October 2015 General Conference, it's called "Strengthened by the Atonement of Jesus Christ" by Elder Dallin H. Oaks. One of my favorite parts read:</span><br />
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"Our Savior experienced and suffered the fulness of all mortal challenges “according to the flesh” so He could know “according to the flesh” how to “succor [which means to give relief or aid to] his people according to their infirmities.” He therefore knows our struggles, our heartaches, our temptations, and our suffering, for He willingly experienced them all as an essential part of His Atonement. And because of this, His Atonement empowers Him to succor us—to give us the strength to bear it all."</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 30.6px;">https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2015/10/strengthened-by-the-atonement-of-jesus-christ?lang=eng</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314); line-height: 30.6px;">It is such a great talk and explanation of all the many ways we can apply the atonement to our lives. Especially for Britt, when he feels like no one could possibly understand what he is going through...Jesus Christ does. But it applies to a lot of the challenges and problems we face day to day, big or small. The atonement of Christ is all encompassing. </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314);"><span style="line-height: 30.6px;">The other day we got to go visit the hospital and all of Britt's nurses/doctors/therapists. It was really such a cool day. Especially at the ICU, a lot of the nurses who took care of him those first couple of months, only knew him at his absolute worst. So for them to see him now, happy and walking, talking, dropping down and giving them 20 pushups...was very touching. It was crazy being back in there, and seeing the room where we spent so many sleepless nights and long scary days. When I was walking through the waiting room, all the memories just came flooding back. Seeing some of the people in there, with the look of grief and defeat on their faces, broke my heart. I know how it feels to be sitting in there. It's not a good feeling. Lot's of nights were spent on those makeshift couches, hoping that there would be a next morning. So many hours spent, talking and hugging and crying with all of the family friends, and visitors who were constantly filling the room. Me and my mom would take our lunch break everyday out there, when someone would offer to bring us food. And we would scarf it all down so we could get back in the room with Britt. And then walking through the doors and seeing all of the faces who had been there through it all for us, who had stayed up late into the night to keep us company, or offer us reassurance when we were awaiting important news. Those guys were our family for sure, and they still are...always will be. As I walked past the room where my brother stayed I quickly remembered the incredible spirit that was within those walls. I remember how we would walk in and it would hit you like ton of bricks. You couldn't deny it, no one could. It was weird seeing the walls so bare, when every inch used to be covered with pictures, posters, cards, jerseys, etc. Everyone who worked with Britt couldn't wait for the day that he'd be able to walk through the door and see them all again. There were a lot of times when I thought that day might never come, but here we are. Once again, so incredible blessed. He was even taking laps around the hallways, and showing them all of his new tricks. We also got to stop by the rehab where we spent about 4-5 months. The ICU was only stuck with us for two, so the rehab got the bad end of the stick hahaha. But oh how I missed all of them so much. Britton just lit up when he saw his favorite nurses and therapists. It was weird being back in there, cause like I said...it was just a place where so much of who we are now came from. So many failures and so many success. A lot of tears, and a lot of smiles. So much of my heart, is there in that place, and the ICU...with all of the amazing people who helped save his life and get him to where he is today. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314);"><span style="line-height: 30.6px;">On christmas eve, Britt's neurosurgeons and their families came and surprised us with some christmas carols. It was so awesome, they are just incredible people. I mean what doctors do you know, that do that? I could never say enough about them, or how much we love them. Britt was so excited to see them, and it was so fun to meet their families. They are amazing doctors, the best actually, but even better people....and I don't know how we got so lucky to have them with us throughout this journey of ours. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314);"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314);"><span style="line-height: 30.6px;">He also got to resume his roll as the lead wise man in our family Christmas eve nativity. Absolutely nailed his performance;) My aunt said something about how she felt like she was in a food coma after eating dinner and Britton said..."Hey, that was me last year."</span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 30.6px;">If you are reading this, man you are a faithful follower. I commend you for sticking with us;) Thank you for still caring about my sweet brother. Thanks for never giving up on him and continuing to keep him in your prayers. He still needs them very much. We love you, and are so thankful for your love and support towards our family and our Britt. I hope you all had a very merry Christmas!</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.00784314); color: #333333; font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 30.6px;">XOXO, Autumn</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14706138648602784868noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20361926193901316.post-67081777878821198572015-11-02T21:36:00.000-08:002015-12-22T10:26:16.381-08:00One Year Later<br>
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It seems like it was just yesterday, but then it also feels
like it has been such a long time coming. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember one of the first things the
doctor said, “if he makes it, it will be hard. It will be difficult. It will be
scary. And it will be a very ,very long road until things are better. And then,
they may never be truly better.” Boy, has it been a long road. He wasn’t lying.
A long road, but a long road worthwhile. A road that I would go back down a
million times over to have our sweet boy with us. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I remember that Saturday so clearly. Just a normal Saturday,
that turned into a nightmare with one phone call. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I’ve had a lot of time to reflect today. On all of it. It
has without a doubt been the most difficult year of my families’ lives. I have
been in the darkest of places, and felt the lowest of lows. But I have seen a
light that eliminates the darkness, and I have felt a happiness that exceeds all
heights. <o:p></o:p></div>
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He went to the Sadie Hawkins dance this year, and I know it
was bittersweet for him, it was for all of us. He somehow got really lucky and
the cutest girl in the world asked him to it. Kam and Britton have been friends
ever since they were little, really close friends. I remember when Britt had
the biggest crush on her through middle school (and I doubt it ever stopped) ,
he had a bunch of notes from her all over the house and she was one of the only
girls he would ever actually talk to me about. So I knew she was special. She
has been there for Britt through out the past year, and has helped him through
a lot of hard days and nights, I know that because I see how his face lights up
when they are texting or talking on the phone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s people like Kam who truly make my heart smile. It might be so
simple for her to care and love him the way she does, but it is such a big deal
to us and she will never know how thankful we are for her and her friendship
with Britt. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I will never truly understand why this had to happen to my
brother, until the day we can meet face to face with our God and loving Savior,
then will it all be clear. But I do know that it happened with great purpose
and for good reason. The blessings we have seen come from this help make it all
a little bit more clear. I know my brother has touched so many lives with his
strength, courage, and heart. And all the while lying in the hospital, not
saying a word, or moving a muscle.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Three months he lied in a coma. So weak, so fragile, so
lifeless. So hurt. Machines breathing for him. Tubes running in and out of his
body. Wires and IV’s wherever covering<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>what seemed like every inch. His brain swelling nearly to the point of
hemorrhaging. Watching the numbers on the machines beep and sound
uncontrollably. A waiting game. For 3 months. Not knowing if he would ever wake
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>up. Not knowing if I’d ever get my
brother back. Watching him cling to what little life he had in him, watching as
he fought with what little strength he had left. I know the savior was embracing
him, holding him tight in his loving arms, during those very hard 3 months. I
know that he was protecting him and loving him. So many miracles. So many
blessings. So much love, and an incredible amount of faith. Selfless service
form millions. And a whole lot of belief in our boy Britt. I remember the day
he wiggled his toes for the first time, the time he responded to a command<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>for the first time, the first time he ever
sat up with a room full of nurses holding every part of him. I remember the day
he stopped breathing. The day they took him down for an MRI with the
possibility<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>of him not coming back. The
day his brain had reached the maximum cranial pressure before he’d go
braindead. I remember when they tried to stand him up for the first time, and when
he contracted a deadly virus that attacked his brain and heart. The day he was
able to begin breathing on his own. I remember the day they were able to put
his skull back on. The day opened and closed his hand, and the day he raised
his right leg. I remember the day he opened his left eye about ¼ of the way.I
remember the first time he held his head up on his own. And when he learned to
put his thumb up for “yes” and kick his leg for “no”. I remember the day he sat
up all by himself. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And when he finally
got to take a real bath. The day he took his first bite of real food. The day
he raised his arm all by himself, and shook his head. The day we got to put
real clothes on him. When we finally got to give him a decent haricut. The day
he got the tubes taken out of his thoat. The day he tried to make his first
noise. His first laugh. The day he got to have a sip of mountain dew. The day
he smiled when we played his favorite song for him. The first time we got to
take him outside. The first time he tried to crawl. The day he got
kidneystones. The day he learned to drive his wheelchair by himself. And when
he learned to grip a ball, and pedal on a bike. The day he learned to balance
while standing. When he learned to crawl down stairs. And roll over all by himself.
The day he started learning</div><div class="MsoNormal"> to walk again. The day he threw a ball, and the
day he caught one. The first time he got to go home. The day he fed himself,
and the day he dressed himself. I remember the day he took his first steps by
himself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The day we got to bring him
home, after 6 long months. And I remember all the days since then. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Never ever will I forget the failures and the moments of
defeat, or the little victories, and the huge milestones. They will be with me
forever. They remind me of how far he has come. From where he started at nearly
the very bottom, to where he is now. Little tender mercies, and blessings that
add up to be one miraculous story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve
never seen someone with so much determination, or strength. I know he doesn’t
do it on his own, because no one could. I know the lord is with him every small
step of the way. And I know he will continue to be. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today, one year later. My brother is a walking miracle. Yep
, I SAID WALKING. He walks all by himself. He goes to school 2 periods a day.
He goes driving on the weekends with my dad, hunting, hangs out with his
buddies, goes on dates. He still goes to therapy a couple times a week. He eats
on his own, and his speech has come so far! He can read and write and is better
at math than my mom;) He hates it when we help him with anything, because he
knows he can do it by himself. Always so determined, or hard headed…you choose
haha. He still has his moments, and dark times. Some days he really struggles,
and some nights he feels so defeated. He wants to quit, and give up. But he
picks himself back up. Always. He cracks jokes, and has more charisma than he
ever did before hahah. Sometimes he doesn’t have a filter but that’s okay, we
will take it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He loves to look good,
clothes, shoes, hair, so nothing has changed there! He still has a lot of
problems with his vision, and probably always will, the feeling in his face
hasn’t come back, and the nerves that were damaged aren’t likely to heal. But
those are things that are so small compared to what “should” be, and what could
be. He wants more than anything to be normal again, and he is getting there, a
little bit at a time. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today, one year later. I watched my brother kneel, and
listened to him bless the sacrament. Never have I heard him speak so clearly,
or powerfully. It was perfect. He didn’t skip or miss a word. Of course I was
all tears. I remember sitting in the back of the church with my mom this same
time last year just bawling, watching the young men bless and pass the
sacrament, praying that someday my sweet brother would be able to do that
again. What a miracle. And then I watched him bare his testimony. Walk up the
to the pulpit by himself, and talk about gratitude. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Elder Holland was in our sacrament and it was
such a tender mercy. His words got our family through a lot of hard days. One
quote in particular from him, I read every day to Britt, probably 10 times a
day since the day it all happened. It was kind of our motto, and when it all
seemed impossible, or we wanted to give up, we found comfort in his words:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">“Don’t you give up. Don’t you quit. You
keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It will be alright in the end. Trust God and believe
in good things to come.” –Jeffrey R. Holland<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m so incredibly proud of him. For who he is. For who has
become. His example, his strength and his faith are something to behold. Never
in my life could I amount to half of what he is. How lucky am I to call him by
brother. My hero, forever and ever. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
God has given my family so much. More than we could ever ask
for or deserve. I don’t know why, but I will forever by so grateful. So
thankful for a loving heavenly father, who is so merciful and understanding.
Who wants nothing but the best for us. Who knows us better than we know
ourselves, and who wants for us to succeed and be happy more than anything. I’m
thankful that he hears us, that he listens, and that he answers. His plan is
perfect, whether we understand it or not. He knows what we are capable of and
who we have the potential to become if we follow him. He knows what we can
endure and what we can overcome. He knows our strengths and our weaknesses. And
he is here for us, always. I’m thankful for a perfect Savior. For someone who
knows my deepest heartaches and my purest joys. For someone who suffered for
me, who loves me so much that he gave his life. He strengthens me when I am weak,
picks me up when I fall, and he stands beside me when I’m strong. He has felt
my lowest of lows and highest of highs, so I would have someone to turn to.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The same applies to my brother, my mom, my dad, my little
brother, and to you. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today could’ve been a hard day, and a sad day. But it
wasn’t, it was everything but that. Today was a day of celebration, and for
every reason. Today I’ve got my brother. And he still has a long road ahead of
him, but at least we have a road to continue down. I know he will continue to
beat the odds, and that through the continued power of prayer and unshakable
faith we all have in him, that he is no where near as good as he’ll get.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All I know is that a year ago today, I didn’t
imagine that we would be here. And he is so much
more. How incredibly blessed we are. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I could never thank you enough for all you have done for my
brother and family this past year.. Thank you for being there for us, and
serving us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thank you for loving him.
Thank you for believing in him. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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XOXO, Autumn<o:p></o:p></div>
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Here is a video of clips from the year. Eventually I'll put together a nice little documentary on it all:)</div>
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Also here is a video the Spectrum did today on him! (he's the cutest thing)</div>
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<a href="http://www.thespectrum.com/story/news/2015/11/02/britton-shipp-making-most-miracle-second-chance/75068532/">http://www.thespectrum.com/story/news/2015/11/02/britton-shipp-making-most-miracle-second-chance/75068532/</a></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14706138648602784868noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20361926193901316.post-31795525807993425752015-09-25T14:13:00.003-07:002015-09-25T14:23:52.200-07:00HC 2015<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="text-align: start;">Here is a video of the weekend! Word on the street is, he was busting some serious moves on the dance floor. (I taught him everything he knows)</span></div>
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Hey Hey!! I have a lot of good stuff to write about! I went home this past weekend, because Britt was going to homecoming...and like, I wouldn't miss that for the world. I hadn't seen him for a whole 3 weeks! That is the longest I've been away from him since his accident, so you can imagine how excited I was to be reunited with my main squeeze. And of course I missed the other two little punks but they don't show me the love i deserve when i walk through that door...haha, just kidding. First of all, I could not believe how much progress Britt has made walking. It was so awesome to see how much he had progressed since the last time i was with him. Obviously it still isnt perfect, but his balance was a million times better and he just seemed a lot more stable, hobblin all around the house like he does. My mom said she has to keep an extra close eye on him lately because he is getting too confident, which can be a bad thing, if she weren't around and he fell. He tries to be all sneaky and stuff she said, so she has him on lock down 24/7 hahahah. But even his cute face looked better, it just looked more normal, more like Britt i guess. He still has a lot of numbness and nerve damage thought parts of his face, but it seemed like to me that it has improved. His pearly whites are looking so good and straight, hopefully when he gets his braces off it will help him with his speech and being able to chew his food better. As far as food goes, he still cant have solids, we still have to make sure its grinded up pretty good so he can get it down. But he has slowly started eating little snack foods, practicing chewing with his speech therapist. Britt has been going to each session of therapy about 2 or 3 times a week now, so his visits are about up for the year.....again. dang it. so they are going to space them out, to maybe once a week. I've noticed, especially lately, that he has been having a lot of memory problems. Lot's of short-term memory loss i think, he forgets really easily things he has previously said or done. But, they told us that is expected, especially with his brain injury. He has a really hard time recalling what he did throughout the day, or where he puts things, just little stuff like that. Britt is doing really good, he is...but he still has hard days, and even harder moments. It is so hard for me not to be there when he is down and out about things, especially when i get calls from my mom not knowing how to handle it. I feel bad for her, that she has to deal with all of that, especially because I could usually calm Britt down and talk him through whatever it was he was crying about. Some nights I just feel like I have run out of options as to how I can help him, and be there for him, when I'm not there. His heart is struggling with so much, and he wont admit it, but i know he is. It is so hard to know what to say or do, when you feel like you've already said and done everything you can. And my mom asks me all the time, what should I say to him, I don't know how to help him or what to do....and most of the time i feel the same way. I feel like I've run out of ideas. That nothing I say or do is going to help him because it's something he has heard a million times. And I cant relate to him because i have not the slightest idea of how he might feel and what he is going through. Telling him it's all going to be alright, and that things are going to be okay...get's old for him, it would get old for me too if i were in his shoes. And when i feel like i've ran out of options, out of ways to lift his spirits and help him find happiness in the little things,I'm quickly reminded that we are never out of options, because we are never alone in any battle or hardship we face. I'm thankful to have a loving Heavenly Father and compassionate Savior, Jesus Christ, who will always listen, and always help. There arms are stretched forth, always, Willing to give us a hand in anything and everything we do, if we just reach, and ask in faith. So when i feel like I've exhausted all possible methods of helping my sweet brother through this time in his life, and when my mom asks me what more she can do to be there for him, all I can think to say is pray. I think sometimes i try to do things on my own, try to fix it all, on my own. We all probably do, at times. But we eventually realize and remember that IT AINT HAPPENIN. It just doesn't work like that, ya know? We weren't put here to fall, time and time again, and try to figure it out by ourselves. We were put here to stumble, yes, but to also succeed and with the help of Heavenly Father and his Son. So as helpless as i feel sometimes when it comes to what i can do or say for my brother, I'm so thankful that the power of prayer and everlasting love of God, which is always our best option, right?<br />
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Britt got to be the honorary team captain at the homecoming game. Watching him walk out onto the field with his teammates, wearing that jersey, #7 on his back, was a real tear jerker. You know me, the big baby. I watched him as he walked up and down the sidelines all night, my dads arms around him. He would get so excited on a big play, and jump up and down, losing his balance with my dad there to catch him. Or trying to chase down a player coming off the field to tell them good job and give them a chest bump. It was so good to see him down there. In his element. But i couldn't help but feel so sad at the same time. All Britt has ever known, is being an athlete and being a part of a team. I know it's just high school sports, and I know in the big picture they are very insignificant. But to my family, and especially me, they have and always will mean so much. I feel like a lot of who I am, came from those long hours in the gym, those early mornings on the field, and the moments of defeat and success that come a long with it. the bonds and friendships you make with your teammates and coaches. The countless hours of practice and preperation, the tears and the sweat. The adrenaline rush, the pressure moments and situations that really test you, the sound of the crowd cheering your name. The lessons you learn, and the amount you grow, not only as an athlete but as a person. It's all a part of it. Some of the greatest memories of my life were made on a field or on a court. As I watched my brother down there, my heart hurt for him. All these years I've looked forward to watching him out there, under the lights. I've looked forward to seeing him grow into the athlete I've always known he would become. I've been so excited for him to feel and experience all those things that come with high school sports. Everything I said above. And it kills me to think that he probably isn't going to get that. I know it is hard for him, i know he was looking forward to it more than anyone, so seeing him out there was so special but also hard and bittersweet. It might not have been in the way I had always imagined or hoped for, but it was close enough, and I'll take it, gratefully.<br />
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<span style="text-align: left;">Britt got to go the hunt of a lifetime with my dad in Kansas for whitetail, a couple weeks ago. I'm going to have him write about it because I wasn't there for all the fun to do it justice, but let's just say there are some pretty amazing people out there, especially Young Guns Outdoors, and Wildbone Youth for making the hunt possible. I know Britton had such a good time, and made memories he will never forget. But even more so, I think he realized and learned a lot about himself that trip. They hiked miles and miles, and it was a lot of hard work. Hunting has always been something britt has loved, he grew up in the mountains scouting with my dad, or out back shooting targets. It's almost second nature for him. I'm pretty sure he knew how to drive a 4-wheeler before he learned how to walk. I remember talking to him a little bit before he left for the hunt, and he was worried that he wouldn't be capable of getting around, or even shooting a buck. And to be honest, I was a little worried too. I didnt want him to be disappointed if it didn't work out. But he proved himself wrong, and he did it. Just like the old days. We laughed and laughed about a comment he made. He said something about being a sharp shooter and having a "dead" eye....literally. hahaha I mean, that is pretty impressive, only being able to see out of a tiny slit in your left eye and shooting a buck dead on. I'm so proud of him. </span></div>
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Britt has been loving school, he still goes for a couple hours a day, in the mornings, and then he usually goes to lunch with one of his friends. He cant really eat anything when they go so he usually gets milkshakes to suffice hahaha.</div>
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He has still been practicing driving with my dad, a couple times a week. For some reason, being able to drive again is a HUGE deal to him. like, he would rather drive before walk hahaha. I think he feels like, if he could drive, he would feel a lot more normal, and have a lot more freedom. But he doesn't understand that there is a lot that goes with driving. He has to be able to process thinks quickly and think clearly all the time, he has to be able to see good enough out of his eyes, and he has to be able to walk and have quick enough reflexes. I see how much he wants those things, and I just pray pray pray they will come, and that someday he will be pulled up next to me at the stop light asking to race hahaha. </div>
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So, let's get to the important stuff. HE WENT TO HOMECOMING. And just with the cutest girl in the world, so no big deal or anything. Britt asked his best friend, Ally Akins to go with him. I'm going to go on a little spill about Ally real quick. This girl is the definition of an angel. And she has been Britton's since day one, she's been our whole families. Ally and Britton grew up together, from preschool to jr year of high school they've always been there for each other, through thick and thin. There is this cutest picture of them together on the first day of preschool hanging in his room. I remember the day it happened, running into the ICU to see my mom and dad so broken. As I held them tight, I saw ally across the hall in the waiting room. As hard it was to see my mom and dad like that, it was just as hard seeing sweet Ally. I remember the look on her face, her eyes so swollen and red, I could see how heavy her heart was. For 3 whole months Ally sat in the ICU waiting room, everyday, without fail. She would write pages in his journal that we had out in the waiting room for his friends to write in, and she would tell him all about her day, all about their memories and inside jokes, and then how badly she missed him and wanted him to wake up and get better. I know this probably isn't ethical or whatever, but I would read it everyday. They'd make me smile, and laugh, and cry all at the same time. I'd read them to him, every night, even though he was unconscious, I had a good feeling he could hear them. And then, when people were cleared to see him, she was there every day for 3 more months, she would sit by his bed, hold his hand and tell him stories. And I'm not kidding you, sometimes she would show up at 10 o clock pm, because she was so busy, but she would come, always. And if for some reason she was out of town, she would call, and have someone write in the journal for her. It blew my mind how loyal she was to him. How much she cared about him. I couldn't help but feel so thankful to my heavenly father for putting her in his life. We could always count on her, always. When Britton was finally able to come home, there she was. Again, every day. She would come over and play games with him, or just sit on the couch and watch tv. She would text him and call him, you name it. Constantly, there for him. She has talked him through a lot of hard days and nights. He trusts her, he confides in her, he goes to her when he needs advice or a shoulder to cry on. And she protects him, and looks out for him, in whatever it might be. Watching her with him this past weekend really made my sister heart smile. She has a way of making him feel like nothing ever happened, like nothing has changed. He got home from their day date in pine valley, and I couldn't wipe that smile off of his face for nothing. It was so cute, he was so happy. Just beaming happiness, and nothing in this whole wide world makes me happier than seeing him that way. Because truthfully, those smiles, those real, genuine, radiant smiles of his, are hard to come by these days. But she does it to him. I watched as she held onto him, walking him out to the truck after he picked her up, and i couldn't help but get a little emotional. Friends like that are one in a million. And i'm so happy they have each other. Because I know for a fact, Britt couldn't get through a single day without her. </div>
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I remember last year's homecoming dance. I came home from school to see Britt off to his first date and first dance, with one of my favorite girls in history of time (and Britt's too) Aspen Hickman. Who is Ally's best friend, they've always been like the 3 musketeers! They looked like a freakin couple out of a magazine. I couldn't believe my baby brother was that old, and that he scored a babe of a girl like Aspy. I remember how handsome he looked that night, how grown up and mature, and how happy he was. It was all so weird for me, to see him that way. It was like overnight he grew up. I took their group pictures and told him that if he doesn't kiss her, to not bother coming home. hahahahah. So of course I waited up all night long for him to get home.......</div>
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So this past weekend was a little emotional for me. I guess, because so much had changed in a single year. The last time my brother went to homecoming he was this perfectly, healthy, strong, charismatic, teenage boy. And this time around things are a little different. When the sadness and longing for that same Britt from a year ago sinks in, I just remember that what I have now, the Britt I have today, is just as great if not better. I'm thankful for Gods plan, the individual one he has for each of us. I feel lucky to have a brother that was so courageous and brave in the life before, that he decided he would take this challenge on. As I watched him all night with his friends, my heart became so full of gratitude and love for each of them. They will never understand or begin to realize what they mean to not only Britton, but to my whole family. The way they treat him and accept him, work with him, and care for him, is unreal. And i don't know what he did to deserve so many amazing boys and girls in his life but I'm dang happy about it. If it weren't for them, and the love they show him, things would be much different, much harder. They lift his spirits when he is down, and mend his heart when it is broken. </div>
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Keep those prayers coming, he still needs them, every minute of every day! They are truly felt and seen, and we are so thankful for your love and support always....</div>
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XOXO, Autumn</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14706138648602784868noreply@blogger.com38tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20361926193901316.post-63883499365538349522015-08-23T19:27:00.003-07:002015-08-23T19:33:02.551-07:0010 months<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Lots has happened the past few weeks!! Lots of big things, good things. I just haven't had the time to write, things have been so busy!<br />
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<span style="text-align: center;">Well, Britt is officially back to school! YAYAAAAA!!!! He absolutely loves it. And we are so glad that he is able to go. It is just for the first half of the day, but we will take it! He is taking about 3 classes i think, and he has little aids (mostly his friends) that help him in class and around the hallways. It is so so so important for him to be back in that normal setting and environment, going to class, doing homework, hanging out with his friends. Personally i think that is some of the most important therapy he needs right now, is to just do normal things, like he used to. Britt, my mom and I all went shopping over the summer to find him so school clothes, and it was always so much fun every time we would go. I remember last year was the first time he had ever let me start helping him shop and pick out things. And i remember thinking…FINALLY, I HAVE A PURPOSE IN LIFE! (to make my brother look cute) hahahah. We had picked out so many cute things, but he never really got to wear any of them because he got in the accident so early in the school year. So being able to do that again this year, was so great. It took us almost 10 times as long in the dressing room, trying stuff on, but it was well worth it. So me and my mom have had fun dressing him up each day for school. Such a handsome boy. He has also invested in a fanny pack…its camo. And the thing doesn't come off of him i swear. But you are going to die when i tell you the things he keeps in there. We got it for him to put his phone and wallet in so he doesn't misplace them but, it became a storage unit for a bunch of random items he has gathered. </span><br />
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1. about 10 packs of buffalo wild wings wet wipes.<br />
2. a zip tie (because "you just never know" is what he says)<br />
3. 2 Altoid cans, 1 with a strand of his best friend Ally's hair. And the other he uses as a wallet and keeps his money in it.<br />
4. I can't remember what else is in there but its seriously hilarious.<br />
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Before school started my mom was super frantic about him getting from class to class safely, and she said "britt can i please just come in between classes to help you walk in the halls, i can come early so no one see's me."<br />
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and he replied, "Mom, I don't want you sneaking around like a big ol armadillo." I don't know why, but we laughed at that for dayssssssss.<br />
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My dad and the rest of my brothers have this funny inside joke about stir fry and fried rice, and they say it in the funniest voice…"you like stir fry, you like flied lice?" over and over and over and over and over, literally 100 times a day. And it never stops being funny.<br />
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I was working on some homework with him the other night, and it had to do with fractions…I'm not kidding you, HE KNEW MORE THAN ME!!hahaha. Im never going to hear the end of that. He also has improved so much with his hand writing. It is looking better everyday. Im so proud of him and the hard work and effort he puts in. Working with Bonnie has really paid off for him, we are so grateful for her and the time she has spent tutoring him.<br />
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here is a video of his first day back to school!!<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/VUjnEStTNhw/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/VUjnEStTNhw?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
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We went on a family vacation a few weeks ago! Well, kinda. We made it a family vacation i guess. We rode down to California to watch our family friends and neighbors play in the Little League Western Regional Tournament in San Bernardino for a day, and then we went to a Dodgers vs Nationals game, and the beach the next day then headed home. It was such a fun trip, even though it was quick. We had a lot of fun at the games, britt loves those little boys so so much, and i think they love him the same. When we were at the Dodgers game, it blew my mind to meet all the people who we ran into who knew Britton and his story. I mean, we were in California for crying out loud?! And we probably ran into 10 complete strangers who we had never known before, telling us how much they loved him and looked up to him! How awesome is that?! I still can't wrap my head around how many amazing people there are int his world we live, and how many of those people have shown such love and support for my sweet brother. All of us kids had to beg my dad to take us to the beach the next day before we headed home, and we finally convinced him to. It was a lot of fun. Britt built a sand castle with my mom, just like he always does when we are at the beach, and me and the little boys played in the ocean. I think Britt was a little bit bummed he couldn't run around and swim, but he definitely made the most of it and still had a good attitude. I couldn't help but remember the last time we had all been at the beach as a family, about 3 years ago. Me and britt floated clear out so far that we thought we were never getting back hahaha, and i could just picture him running around chasing ledger and throwing him into the waves. I miss that, but I'm extremely grateful for what we still have. Even though things are much different. </div>
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Here is a video link to our California trip:)<b> <a href="https://vimeo.com/136136413">https://vimeo.com/136136413</a></b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVLrdYjk6lUsNU8jUIcBN9CLtbI8HKEaByJeR-23yRM7Os2pvmnA3IF_UxcdhyphenhyphenmKQMLnyw27NA2G7W-EqyxbmRHQyfWuXDEI-CpqU66hy4c1wwMORYVnZnx6H9wftRIuuBJRKnYU2B1yk/s1600/IMG_4479.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVLrdYjk6lUsNU8jUIcBN9CLtbI8HKEaByJeR-23yRM7Os2pvmnA3IF_UxcdhyphenhyphenmKQMLnyw27NA2G7W-EqyxbmRHQyfWuXDEI-CpqU66hy4c1wwMORYVnZnx6H9wftRIuuBJRKnYU2B1yk/s640/IMG_4479.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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He got his results back from the MRI on his skull. He had to have it because the incisions where they cut are decaying and almost eroding, for reasons i don't really know (I'm not good with medical terms), but they had to go in and do an MRI to see if it had gotten worse, in the case they would have to re-open the skull and put it back together. Talk about a nightmare. We didn't want that. Luckily the results showed that it hadn't gotten much worse, but it still wasn't getting better. So there isn't much they can do about it now, we just have to sit back and wait, and watch, and wait some more. We are praying that everything in the skull rejuvenates and can be built back up with time. </div>
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He is still going to therapy, and speech a few times a week. The speech therapist is so awesome, and has even been coming over to out house for an hour or so a week to get in extra work!! </div>
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I walked in my moms room the other night and saw britton doing pushups by himself. He didn't know i was in the room so i just spied for awhile. But he probably did 50 or so, it was over the span of like 10 minutes, but he just kept at it. Sometimes falling down, but always getting back up. I know how badly he wants to get better, and get back to where he was or at least to a place where he feels comfortable with his body. Seriously, i don't know how that boy does it. </div>
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My dad and Britt have been practicing driving a lot lately. Britton would do it every night if he could. That is his number one goal i think, is to be able to drive within the year. He misses it a lot i think. My dad said he is getting a lot better and coming a long way with it, so that is exciting. </div>
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Britt still continues to get letters and packages in the mail from all the people who follow him and love him. It is amazing to see such thoughtful words and gifts still coming in, even after all these months. WE could never repay you for the love you have shown him, and continue to show. He got a shirt and letter from Eric Weddle and his wife this past week and about died. He loved it so much and couldn't believe that they knew about him and were following his story so closely. That made his day for sure. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZf9J-pILUzJIWxQKp7eppkBO6NzbYQxj4_f_Lcor4Z8x_WNiDon52UaXYH31iyMiCUCMKINH9cYqXI3hhxWETgW_ZlqK46Aa1wAtqYFM5AMOJIOqApC9qwUI8lZEE4T-Bmwu4qgls7q0/s1600/IMG_4222.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZf9J-pILUzJIWxQKp7eppkBO6NzbYQxj4_f_Lcor4Z8x_WNiDon52UaXYH31iyMiCUCMKINH9cYqXI3hhxWETgW_ZlqK46Aa1wAtqYFM5AMOJIOqApC9qwUI8lZEE4T-Bmwu4qgls7q0/s640/IMG_4222.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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It has been a pretty rough week for me, considering i have moved up to provo for school. It's weird that the time has finally come for me to pick back up again where i left off in November. I guess it has just been really emotional and confusing for me lately, because I didn't want to leave Britt or my family after being glued to each other for 10 straight months. Leaving scared me, because i don't not want to be there if something were to ever happen or go wrong. I didn't want to leave my mom to take care of Britt all day and still attend to the Ledger and Greyson the way they need to be, while my dad is at work. Her job is hard. So hard. Everyday i look at that woman and wonder how on earth she does it all, and how we got so lucky to have her as our mom. Britt is a full time job, I'm not saying that in a mean or disrespectful way, but he is. He has so many things that my mom has to tend to throughout the day, he can't really be left alone, and he can't do a whole lot for himself. She would bend over backwards to give him the world and do anything for him, she does that for all of us. And somehow she manages to cook, keep the house clean, and do all the millions of other things moms do at the same time. She is one in a million I tell you, and i don't think we tell her that enough. mom, if you are reading this. You are the greatest in the whole wide world. Incredible. Beautiful. Powerful. Inspiring. You are everything. What scared me most about leaving was probably just not being able to be there for Britt everyday. Im going to miss waking up to him sneakily crawling in to my room to scare me, or our late night chats after he has been crying for hours. Im going to miss hearing his voice the minute i walk through the door, and the big hugs he gives me before he leaves. I mean, i know I'm only 3.5 hours up the street but, those are things I'm going to miss everyday. Im worried that i won't be there when he needs someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on. I told him he better call me whenever he needs to talk, and FaceTime me so i can see his cute face at least for a couple minutes a day. I find videos on my phone every day that he recorded, so those should keep me from going crazy until I'm able to go home every couple of weeks. Here are a couple i found the other day! What a character…</div>
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We are so thankful for you, and your prayers for Britt, keep em comin!! He still needs them real bad. </div>
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Here is a video of our trip to park city, from my last post!! It's pretty short, if you wanna click the link and watch it:) <a href="https://vimeo.com/134588823">h<b>ttps://vimeo.com/134588823</b></a></div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14706138648602784868noreply@blogger.com34tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20361926193901316.post-54084390596616777122015-07-23T20:35:00.004-07:002015-07-23T21:07:12.776-07:00Hold TightAnother week has gone by! Isn't it crazy how fast time flies, the concept of time is so crazy to me. Can you believe it has been almost 9 months since Britton's accident. That is so weird to me. It feels like it has gone by so fast, but i look back on those first days and feel like they were a lifetime away. I look at where my brother stands this very day, and i can't help but feel overcome with all sorts of feelings and emotions. He has come so far, and exceeded so many expectations.<br />
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I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Just about this whole journey. All of it. The ups the downs, the good and the bad. The past and the present. Where we were and where we are. And still to this day, i wish i could wake up and it would have all just been a bad dream. I would do anything to trade him places. It still doesn't feel real. I don't know if the reality of it all will ever sink in, fully. Maybe I'm just not letting it, maybe i don't want to accept it. I don't really know. Maybe i still don't want to believe it, or maybe I'm just not ready to. I feel like i understand it though, i do. I understand why it has happened, and that there is great purpose and reason behind it. Some of which has been made known to us already, and some that still hasn't quite unfolded. </div>
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This week, the week of the 24th, has lots of significance. Last year this time we were up in Heber at a baseball tournament for my littlest brother Ledger! I took this picture with britt one night after a game, we had been throwing the football around on an empty field. He was teaching me some plays and Quarter Back techniques hahah you can imagine how that was going. I just remember laughing with him, and cracking Uncle Rico jokes from Napolean Dynamite. For the first time he actually wanted to and agreed to taking a picture with me (usually i had to pay him or make his bed for a week or something) This ended up being one of my favorite pictures ever. I couldn't believe how grown up he was getting. 16 years old, finally maturing. He had grown so much and just become so handsome. So funny, athletic and smart. And such a good boy, with a strong sense of who he was and where he was going in life. I love these pictures of him. I clung so tight to these photos during those rock bottom days and long terrifying nights in the hospital. Looking at them helped me to remember that the boy in the picture was full of life, laughter, dumb jokes, a crooked smile, a dang good head of hair, a strong testimony and a good heart. It reminded me that he wasn't going to be the boy in the hospital bed, with bloody bandages covering his head, tubes down his throat and nose, machines hooked up to his heart, and wires running in and out of him wherever there was room. He wasn't going to be that forever. I clung tight to this picture, praying with everything in me that i would get my britt back someday.<br />
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<span style="text-align: center;">Today i woke up to my brother crawling in my room, on his way to get in bed with me. I saw him, and just layed there, pretending i was asleep. I watched him, crawling as quietly as he could to sneak up on me. He stumbled, and fell over a few times. But he kept getting back up with this grin on his face. Like he was so funny or something. I laughed to myself, a little bit inside, but felt tears roll down my face. I wiped them away and jumped out of bed, and helped him up. I layed with my head on his chest and just held him tight. As tight as i could. In that moment i was so happy. Happy to have him. But my heart also ached. He is a 17 year old boy. And it is so incredibly hard not to constantly be thinking or reminded of how he was before. I try to write this without sounding ungrateful because trust me, I am far from it. I feel so blessed everyday for this sweet boy. And all that he is. But as his older sister, my heart hurts. I wish so badly he could just run or even walk into my room in the mornings, and jump in my bed next to me, stealing all the covers and falling right back asleep like old times. I wish i didn't have to watch him crawl and stumble. We were laying there and he rubbed his eye on accident, the one with the stitches. He instantly realized what he did and was worried he rubbed one of the stitches out. He was so worried, and i could tell he was getting really frustrated. I wish he didn't have to be so careful. I wish he could just see. See the world like he used to. His right eye always seems to be looking straight ahead (when it is open), I'm not sure if he even gets much use out of it. And the other one, well he sees what he can out of the little slit. Somedays i really miss his eyes. They're so green and pretty. That probably sounds silly, but you miss those little things every once in awhile. Lately I have been missing his laugh. The one i remember. He laughs all the time, and it is the funniest/cutest thing ever, don't get me wrong. But it isn't the same, you know? I love hearing his laugh. But i keep having these, flashbacks, of before. Just random things, experiences, instances where i can picture and remember it so perfectly. And then i see his face. And his smile, and everything. Those flashbacks really get me sometimes. And it is so hard not to miss it and want it back. I try not to think about it. I try to not let it get to me, but sometimes i can't just not let those memories flood in. It sure is crazy how fast things can change, isn't it? I don't want to sound like I'm taking things for granite. I don't want to sound like I'm writing like I've lost him. I'm just telling you how i feel. What i am feeling this exact second, as thoughts and memories, words, emotions and tears take over. This is sort of an escape for me i guess. I have a hard time expressing my feelings, but i feel like writing is a gateway for me. Im just being real. I miss before. I miss it like crazy. I miss him being britt. But that is okay. It is okay for me to miss it. And i probably always will. I guess the hardest thing for me, is thinking about his future. I want it all for him. I want him to have everything he ever wanted and hoped for in life. I hope so badly some day he can find the girl of his dreams, and that she loves him the way he should be loved. I hope that he has a family, with a bunch of little britty's running around, and that ill be the best aunt they ever had. I hope he can teach them how to throw a baseball, shoot a buck, ride a 4-wheeler, and bait a hook. I hope he gets that. I want that so badly for him. It's hard not to think about before, and the man he was becoming. So handsome. So successful. He still is. But i worry, you know? It scares me to death. I know things have changed for him. A lot has changed, things are different. It breaks my heart, that part of it. So i pray that he will still get all of that someday. Because he deserves it. I really just want him to be happy. And i want his future to be what he always pictured it. We had a long, deep conversation the other night. Someone has to sleep with him every night just in case, and obviously (by popular demand) he chooses me. Sometimes we are so tired and go straight to bed, but other nights we stay up talking for hours. I think nights are easily the hardest for Britt. He has too much time to think. But I know that he has to let those emotions be felt. He has to let the tears out every once in awhile, and he has to be able to vent. The other 98% of the time he can be tough. So that's where I come in. Britt and I have a special relationship. He knows he can open up to me about anything, he doesn't have to be scared about what I'll say or think. If I'll be mad at him, or worried. He trusts me with things I don't think he feels comfortable telling anyone else. I'm not going to sugar coat anything though. Britton has this incredible perspective. And somehow through all of this he has managed to keep a smile and be his light hearted self. Full of courage and resilience, faith and drive. He is all of that. But he is also struggling. It's a constant battle for him, everyday. To keep moving forward...and wanting to. Hearing some of the things he expresses to me, really breaks my heart. But I understand why he feels that way sometimes. And I know it's hard for him. It's tough for all of us. But today i got to snuggle in bed with my brother and hold him tight. I might have tears running down my face right now, but I am the happiest girl in the world…because of just that. He is my happy. All of my brothers are. My mom and my dad too. This family of mine, i hold them so dear to my heart. They are something special, each one of them. But Britt is my angel, my hero, my best friend. How do i even explain him?! There are no words. Everyday i look at his sweet face and think, how? How are you, the way you are? He truly is the most incredible boy i have ever known. And maybe I'm a little biased because he is my blood, but i think a lot of people would agree. He was a perfectly normal 17 year old boy on a date with a pretty girl one second, and the next he was clinging onto his life by a thread. In an instant his life was completely changed forever. And it was no ones fault. There was no reason as to why it happened the way it did, other than the fact that it was part of God's plan for him. That took me awhile to realize. But like i mentioned in the beginning of this all. Everything that happened that day, was no coincidence and no mistake. It was clear that the hand of God was in every aspect of it. He hung on long enough to make it to the hospital, when no one thought he would. He survived through the emergency brain surgeries, when it didn't seem likely. He made it through all of the scares at the ICU, and all of the nail biting moments when we didn't know if he would live another day. He woke up from his coma 3 months later. He went through a lot of ups and even more downs, sicknesses and setbacks the next 4 months in the hospital. No one could tell us what would come of him. From the beginning even up until now. That's the thing with the brain. You just don't know. The odds were never in his favor, and the outcome never seamed good. But it didn't matter, none of it did. Because it was never about what should, or was supposed to happen. It was never about the facts or the research or what the numbers on all of the machines hooked up to him showed. It was about his heart. That strong, courageous, sweet, powerful, heart of his. The trust vested in our Heavenly Father, and the healing and strengthening power gained through the Savior Jesus Christ. It was about FAITH. It was about HOPE. It was about LOVE. It was clinging so tightly to that knowledge, that our God is a God of Miracles. That he can make weak things become strong. That if we knock, it shall be opened, if we ask, it shall be given. That if we believe and have faith on his name, it should be made known. It was the spirit testifying that everything was going to be okay the moment i saw him for the first time. That it was going to be a long, hard, and very difficult road, but that there would be a light at the end. It was the strength in numbers, the millions of selfless, loving and faithful souls, friends, family, strangers, in our home, in our neighborhood, in our ward, and all over the world. It was the love you've had for my brother, whether you knew him or not, and the belief you had in him. It was the prayers you so generously offered up, countless times a day, everyday, since November 1, 2014. I strongly feel like my brother had a choice. That he had a choice to stay or to go. I don't doubt that it was a hard decision for him. And i don't doubt that he made the choice he did, because there were so many people here, who loved him, who needed him, who believed in him. I know that he felt that. Every last bit of it. I know that God heard our prayers, ever last one of them. Somedays i thought there's no way he can't be annoyed with all of us, constantly having to listen to us beg for our britt back. I've always been told there is strength in numbers, that an individual can accomplish a lot, but a team can conquer the world. And I think thats what we did in a way. The power of prayer is so real. I know that. I have felt it and i have witnessed it. We all have. </span></div>
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I look back on pictures, and videos and things I wrote in the beginning. In the first couple of months, and the ones later on down the road. you would think that i'd understand it by now, that i would remember how bad it actually was. But without a doubt, every time i am reminded. This was no small feat. My sweet brother was so close to leaving us. And to think that he has fought, and clawed. He has fallen, time and time again. 5 steps forward, 10 steps back. It couldn't have been easy. I watched him everyday, I saw what he was going though. The pain he felt. The confusion, the anger, the fear. The disappointment. But then he would keep going, pushing forward. At first there was only so much he could do, physically. But you could just see it in him, that he was working so hard. I watched him heal, in every aspect, slowly but surely. I watched him progress and succeed. At times he fails, but he gets back up. He doesn't stop. He doesn't quit. He is never content with where he is. He knows his potential. And he believes it just as much as the rest of us do. Ive told him from day one. If you believe YOU can, YOU can. I truly think that nothing is holding him back. That given his circumstances, its unrealistic for him to recover like i think he can. But who cares. My coaches always told me that talent doesn't matter, heart is what gets you places. And Britton gets that. He has been an athlete his whole life. And i see that heart in him everyday. I hope he never gives up, no matter how long it might take or how hard it might be. Because i know i wont. I'll never give up on him. And ill never stop having the faith that he can be healed and made stronger with each day. If we do our part. Both physically and spiritually. Britton still has a long road ahead of him. An uphill road, with probably some big old rocks and other obstacles in the way. But that's okay. At least we have a future ahead of us. It could be so different. Whenever is start to feel sorry for myself or him, or any of it. I just remember that. We are the luckiest family in the world to have him here with us. Things could've gone so differently, and i think about that often. The thought haunts me, it makes me sick. I couldn't do it without him. I don't know how i would go on. I really don't. I can't imagine life without our britt. Life hits hard sometimes. Really hard. We all have our "things" that we have to deal with. Some harder than others. But each of us face difficulties. And they suck. Bad. Sometimes we think we can't do it, that we aren't capable. But that's just silly. Because, there is no trial, or burden that our loving Father in Heaven would give us that we weren't capable of enduring, and enduring well. He knows. He knows what we can take and what we cant. He knows what will break us down and what will build us back up. It is all with great purpose. As hard as it is to accept. As hard as it is to make sense of. Whenever i start to think that maybe i can't do it. Maybe britton can't do it. I am quickly reminded that, we chose this too. We agreed to it, and we accepted it. before we even came here. And that is why my brother is my hero. He took this on. He agreed to it. He accepted it. But i know that as his family, we all promised to be there for him, to help him, support him, love him and believe in him through it all. </div>
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This gospel, the gospel of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, doesn't just bring happiness. It brings, knowledge, clarity and sense of strength that makes you feel like you can take on the world. It is incredible. It is healing. It is powerful. It is real, and it is true. Happiness. despite the bad, and the hard and the tragic. Because there is always a way through it, a way back. That is through him. Our savior Jesus Christ. I know, without a doubt in my mind, that the only way we have made it this far through this storm of ours, that britton has made it through…is because of what we know, what we have felt, and continue to feel. Because of the love our God has for us and because of the plan he holds for each of us. </div>
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Our Britt still needs your prayers. Very much. He still isn't walking on his own, or eating normally, his speech is getting better but still not where it should be. His eyes still aren't open all the way, and he has trouble seeing well. He's been having problems with his ears lately, and has a hard time hearing. So there are still plenty of physical blessings he needs very badly. But, if you are asking me...specifically what I really think he needs...I would say pray for him to have high spirits, high hopes, and to be happy. His sweet heart needs it. OH AND GUESS WHAT! GOOD NEWS! He just received 30 more visits for therapy! The appeal worked! Yayyyyy!! Thank you for your prayers, I know they were heard! So, where there is a road ahead...there is opportunity for progress. That's all we ask and pray for, progress. We love you, Britt loves you!! Thank you for believing!</div>
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These were taken today. Same tournament, same day, just a year later. And oh how happy my heart is to have this sweet boy by my side in the picture.</div>
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Xoxo autumn </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14706138648602784868noreply@blogger.com32tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20361926193901316.post-57764612598855125702015-07-09T15:39:00.003-07:002015-07-09T15:54:46.830-07:00Family + Fireworks + Food + Fun<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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What a week! It really was one for the books! A little bit hard, a little bit bittersweet, but definitely one full of laughing and smiles.<br />
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Britton got a visit from Ty Detmer and his sweet wife and girls. They came to our home and brought so much love and kindness with them. It meant so much to Britton to meet and talk with them all, especially because Britton has always looked up to and admired him so much. It was a lot of fun to visit with the Detmer and Hafen family and share stories for a little while.<br />
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Britt's visits at physical therapy are up, he has used up all 20 of them already, so it's up to us now to keep him moving in the right direction and continue to make progress. We are in the process of appealing, for hopefully more visits, because he really really needs them! Luckily we still have Matt Rhea and his boys coming to work with him a few times a week, and we have such amazing friends and people in the community offer their services and facilities for him to come and work out in if he needs it! Seriously, just when you think your family couldn't possibly receive any more support and help, we do! This community is absolutely incredible. It has been like, what…8 months now, and the support is still just as amazing as the day it happened. We couldn't be more grateful, or appreciative of you all:) thank you!!<br />
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You wanna know the greatest thing in the world? Being able to watch your little brother pile in the car with a bunch of his buddies and head off to hang out and get Buffalo Wild Wings. Just like he used to. I'm trying not to tear up as i type this. But really, it pulls the heart strings. I don't think his friends will ever know how much it means. They haven't left his side since the day it all happened. They were there for him when he was in the ICU, when he was in the the Nuero Rehab Unit, and they are here for him now. I really admired them at first for caring and believing in him the way they did. I knew they were such good boys with a lot of love for my brother. But i still and that worry in the back of my mind that maybe one day they would just stop showing up, or forget about him. It scared me so bad. The thought that he might not have them around all the time, and things might not be the same with them. I could understand how it would be easy to react different ways to what happened to my brother. Some people just handle traumatic stuff like this in different ways. They could have easily said this is too much and kept their distance, but they did the exact opposite. They don't treat him any differently, they just treat him like the same old Britton. I was so scared my little brother would one day feel like a project. And i was scared they his friends would feel obligated to continue being his friends. Because Britton obviously is much different than before in certain aspects, and i didn't want that to effect the same boy he was inside. Scary thought right? So to see these friends texting him "Hey bro, we are coming by tonight to pick you up!" or "Britt, can we hang out?"…them coming over to just sit on the couch and talk with him, or taking him away for a couple hours to just hang out like old times…I could never explain how much it means to not only him, but me. All i want for him is to have a normal life, to do normal things, ya know. Im so so very thankful for the friends he has, and for their character. You guys are so special. They go to Buffalo Wild Wings at least twice a week, or out to get a milkshake from Dairy Queen, or maybe its just a cruise around town listening to music. But it makes my heart so happy to see all of it.<br />
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We headed up to Park City for the week of the 4th! My littlest brother Ledger had a baseball tournament up there. We stayed in Heber at a family friends cabin, who was so generous to offer it to us! We had the greatest time just hang in out with each other and a few other families we are really close with! It was so much fun. To just enjoy each other company, joke around and laugh while being in such a beautiful place. My family went to the lake one day ( i was at a wedding) but it seemed like they had such a great time. Britton even got to drive the boat (glad i wasn't there hahahah) they went fishing and just spent the day on the water!<br />
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We watched tons of baseball games, and on the 4th we went to the Stadium of Fire in Provo! Journey was performing, which was awesome. My dad and Britton love them! They sang along to every song together. It was hilarious, Britton got stopped by soooo many people while we were there who knew him and his story! I just laughed as i watched a bunch of cute dance girls get together for a picture with him, because i knew that he was just thinking "Aweee yeah, perks of having a brain injury baby." hahahahha. It was so cool though, to see how many people knew him and were cheering for him! It is so good for him to see and meet all these believers because it helps him to understand and realize how many people truly care about him and love him even though they have never met him before. I hope someday he comes to understand how inspiring and incredible he is. Oh yeah, and then somehow Greyson became a celebrity too…I'd look over and id see a bunch of random people or dancer girls taking a selfie with greyson…hahaha.<br />
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We took Britt shopping at his favorite outlets in Park City, and we got him some new school clothes. He definitely didn't lose the shopper in him, that is for sure. We ran into so many people there too, who knew Britt and just wanted to say hi or give him a hug. It really is so amazing to see how many people care, near or far, friend or stranger, it means more than they'll ever know.<br />
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The other night i was up in Brittons room with him, and i could see he was scrolling through something on his phone. It was a bunch of old messages on Facebook from when he was in the hospital. He had to zoom in all the way, the screenshot the messages then zoom in some more in order for him to read them clearly. But i was able to creep over his shoulder long enough to see what some of them said. They were all messages from a wide variety of people, but they all had in common one thing. They were so uplifting, and positive, and touching. As he read one of them i could tell it was from one of his friends from school, Ina…she said something along the lines, of "Britton i know you are sleeping right now, but i can't wait for you to wake up and see this! I love you buddy, keep fighting." I couldn't help but cry…knowing that these people all had the faith that he would wake up and one day be able to read their messages. Britt put his phone down, and i could tell he was trying to hold back the tears, but he couldn't. He cried for a little bit, and then i asked him to say a prayer. It was the sweetest prayer i have ever heard. I can't remember all that he said, but i do know that it touched me so deeply, the spirit was so strong. He said one line "I never knew how grateful i was until now."<br />
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My mom puts a baby monitor up in Brittons room so she can hear him when he needs to go to the bathroom. Ledger was sleeping with him, and i was down in my mom's room and i could hear them talking to each other through the other monitor. I sat down next to it and just listened for awhile. I couldn't help but laugh and cry all at the same time. 9 year old ledger asking for advice from his older brother, who he has always wanted to be just like. They talked and talked and talked about who knows what, girls, sports, life. Some of the things they said to each other were so sweet. I was so so so happy to be in that moment. Listening to them. It is just another example of how precious the little things are, because they mean so much.<br />
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We took these pictures the day we left Park City.<br />
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I didn't think much of them until i was looking back on them. I was overcome with emotion. Because i was standing in a picture with the 3 most important people in my life. Not, just 2 of them, but all 3. I don't know how i got so lucky, to still have that 3rd one in my life, and for him to be standing in that picture, and being all goofy and crazy like he is…but i did. And i will never ever stop thanking my heavenly father, and all of the amazing people who have played a part in his journey. I think every day about how the circumstances could be so incredibly different. He could be a vegetable, constantly in a wheel chair, paralyzed, unable to talk or move or do anything for that matter. But look at him. He is as close to the old Britt than i could've ever hoped or prayed for. And that is such a miracle. I will never understand why we were so blessed. or why we continue to be. But that boy is a simple reminder to me every single second of every single day that God is good, people are great, and life is so precious and amazing. Hold the ones you love and care about close to your heart, don't let the imperfections and disruptions of every day life take away from the big picture and what is really important. Go the extra mile to be a little better and to love a little harder. Don't wait for reality or tragedy to come knocking on your doorstep. Chances are it will, eventually, at some point, in some way or another. And you'll get through it. I love this family of mine. I love all of you. I love that boy i call my hero and my brother. I love the strength and happiness I am able to have through the Gospel of Jesus Christ.<br />
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heres some clips front he past month, of britt just being britt<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14706138648602784868noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20361926193901316.post-39289678836741780382015-06-25T16:36:00.003-07:002015-06-25T16:37:18.690-07:00Free ManIt's been a minute, and i have officially ran out of excuses as to why i am a terrible blogger.<br />
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But i am about to fill you in, and give you all the deets. </div>
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So, the past couple of weeks a lot has happened. A lot of GOOD stuff. </div>
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Britt had the honors of being this years Utah Summer Games torch carrier. He received the Spirit of the Games Award, and got to carry the torch in the open ceremonies. Unfortunately i was out of town, and didn't get to be there for it, but my parent said that it was an unforgettable night! Britton felt so much love from everyone there, and it was so cool for him to see how many people are running alongside him through this uphill battle he is facing. It means so much to our family that he was chosen for this special award and high honor. I think it is safe to say it was a night that he will never forget. </div>
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He had a little operation on his left eye, the day after his birthday. They sewed 3/4 of it shut, so he has a little slit that he can see perfectly through. They decided to do this because his tear ducts aren't producing enough tears to lubricate it, thats why he got the ulcer and abrasions on the outer eye…which was scary. But this is supposed to help it heal, so that more moisture will stay in the eye. They said it just depends on how fast the outer layer of his eye heals, but it could be like that for up to 6 months! He went to the eye doctor at the beginning of this week and he saw 20/40..which is the best he has ever seen!!! We were so excited about that! We are hoping that it continues to heal the way it is supposed to, so that the kid can see again!!</div>
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He has been loving the new pool! He would spend all day in there if he could! It has been so good for him, because he can walk around and swim underwater, and all sorts of stuff!</div>
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Britt just finally got his feeding tube out on tuesday! WOOOHOOO HE IS A FREE MAN! He was so so excited to get rid of that thing. Thankfully he is now able to drink enough water through his mouth, so the tube was no longer needed. It is so weird to not see it hanging out from underneath his shirt!haha They just popped it right out and stuck some gauze over it, so the hole is just supposed to heal right up in a few days! </div>
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I took him shopping the other day with his friend Ally. We went to a few stores in the mall and tried on a bunch of clothes! I was a little bit nervous about taking him out and doing all of that by myself, but it went perfect!! It was so much fun, and he still knows exactly what he likes and what he doesn't. The only thing that has changed is what size he wears…hahahah, he's not so skinny anymore. We got some really cute outfits for him to wear on all of his future hot dates;)</div>
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Last night he went on a ride with my dad in the razor. He has been asking him for over a month if he can try driving, so my dad took him out and let him try! He did it!! Just down the street, but it was such a huge accomplishment for him! He was so nervous he wouldn't be able to or that he wouldn't remember how to, so for him to be able to do that, even just for a second, really helped his confidence and was just what he needed. My dad couldn't believe how well he did either. </div>
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He ran into Kycie yesterday at therapy! It was the first time the two had met, even though it feels like they have known each other this whole time. I wasn't there, but my mom said it was such a great experience. He just held her and gave her the biggest hugs! He said he wanted to take her home with him. I think they are each others biggest fans. </div>
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He has just been doing so well lately. It blows me away, each day the progress we see. I really think the Rhea's coming over and working with him every morning has helped him so so much. His balance and strength is coming along, but definitely has a long way to go! He is coming up on the end of his 20 physical therapy visits next week. He is nowhere near being well off enough to end therapy, so we are in the process of appealing for more visits! The first year after the brain is injured is very crucial in the healing process. The brain is most susceptible to relearning things during that time frame, so we really really need him to be able to continue in his therapy! If the appeal doesn't go through, it is 1000 dollars per week for his visits, which is a crazy amount, but we have to do what we have to do, for him! So we are crossing our fingers and praying that the insurance will grant him more time! They have been so good to us so far, so we are hopeful! But if you could please include that in your prayers we would be so grateful! </div>
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It is incredible to see how far he has come since day 1. We are so thankful everyday to watch him progress and become more of himself a little bit at a time. It is like watching a big huge miracle unfold in front of your eyes, and in your own home. We know that it is thanks to a loving heavenly father and a loving community who had rallied and believed in him every step of the way. The prayers continue to bring to pass so many needed blessings. Thank you for continuing to think of him, he still has a long road ahead! </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14706138648602784868noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20361926193901316.post-2682775004373651092015-06-09T11:57:00.000-07:002015-06-09T13:45:11.886-07:00Happy Birthday to "Our Boy Britt" Big 17<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Well while Autty is out back packing around Switzerland, France, Germany, Italy and the rest of Europe with very little cell service, her little brother had a big party without her..... Britton turned 17 years old on sunday the 7th and he wanted to have a "House Party" "Pool Party" ..... Well he just wanted to PARTY! So we put together a little "Backyard Party" and Monday with 60 or so of his closest friends it was on! I really just invited every contact he had in his old cell phone. I finally got his new phone turned on and all his old info downloaded into it. His old phone was locked with a code that only he could remember... and that wasn't working out very well, so we just got him a new one for his birthday? We made it work though and "The Party" was a huge sucecess! Thank You to Shanon Akins, Gramdma Sandy, Seth Smith, Nate & Camerlee Ence, Brooksby Stafford, Bud Stafford, Bret & Charice Smith, Ryan Anderson, Jeff Norton, Lance Warby, Robert Ence, Tyler Roberts, Kent & Robyn Frei, Jimmy Johns (Glendennings) and All the Friends that made this a party to remember!</div>
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We are so fortunate to be celebrating this day with "Our Boy" because back in November we were just praying for each day. The future is so bright for Britton and I see that everyday in him. He just seems to get a little better every single day. His attitude is one that is un-rivaled and his work ethic has not diminished one bit. We got a small eye surgery done today that will close up his left eye for a while to let his cornea heel proper and also tighten up the little bit of sag from nerve damage from his accident. He got through that great and is home resting! Britt has a big day Thursday 11th 8:30pm up in Cedar City (SUU) at The Opening Ceremonies of The Utah Summer Games. He is recieving The Spirit of The Games Award and getting to light the Big Torch to open up The Games. We are so honored that they think so much of Britton and his story to allow him to be such a big part of this always Great Event, that features so many strong & talented athletes from all over the State & Country. </div>
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Britton has had the opportunity to talk to a few different youth groups lately and he loves being able to share his feelings with all those hundreds of kids that have supported him through this last 8 months. I love when he stands there and simply opens with "Thank You..... Thank You for ALL the PRAYERS...... Your all AWESOME, I wouldn't be her without YOU!" ... I kinda think that says it all?</div>
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And Thank You all again from our Family for all the kind words and stories we hear so often about how Britton has touched your life in one way or another, and about the testimonies of prayer, faith & just good feelings that this has brought to so many people all over the world. We of all those people feel those blessings as strong as anyone and we Love You All for that. </div>
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Enjoy his "Birthday Party" video......</div>
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Jesse </div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14706138648602784868noreply@blogger.com85tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20361926193901316.post-10501455092085995322015-05-23T15:53:00.005-07:002015-05-23T15:53:53.119-07:00High's and Low's<br />
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I know, i know, it has been forever. And I am fired from running this blog. Life is crazy. But I will take full responsibility for not keeping everyone up to date. MY BAD.<br />
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Let's try to remember what has gone on the past couple of weeks. Well, as you can imagine, plenty of doctors appointments, check up's and follow up's. Britton got another MRI, and the results were good, nothing seems to be worse, only getting better! Thank heavens. His eyes, have their good days and bad. Somedays he can see fairly well out of the left one, and other days it is really blurry and hard for him. The right one will open up quite a bit ever once in awhile, but for the most part he has to hold it open himself. It still doesn't track or move much, it pretty much just stays fixed, so when he is looking at you it is hard to tell. His speech is still the same, pretty tough to understand him unless you are his family and know how to speak Britton hahah. His speech therapist is so awesome though, and he has been doing a lot of research to try and figure out what we can do to help him and make it better. He said they can see more movement in his velum…i think that is how you spell it, it is this thingy in the back of your throat that helps sounds come out (i might be making that up…look it up on google if you really want to know haha) He has started to put together longer sentences though, more details and big words. It was so funny, the other night i was telling him about a boy, and asking him what he thinks I should do, and the way he was responding and communicating with me was like nothing was even wrong. It was a perfectly normal conversation, just like I would have had with him 7 months ago. That is something that I am so thankful for and will never take for granite…that i can have sit down with my brother and have a conversation with him, whether it be simple or deep. Im so thankful that he is able to understand and communicate just like the old Britt.<br />
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A few weeks ago he went through a rough couple of days. For some reason he was just really down, and would have crying episodes at night for hours. We tried to handle it as best as possible, but that stuff can be hard on a family. It tugs on your emotions like no other. I'm thankful for my dad in those moments that the coach can come out in him and talk Britton back up, he can allude things to sports and to games and to being an athlete in general and help him wipe away the tears. It is hard to know the right time for those moments though. We know that sometimes he is going to cry and feel sad, and disappointed and frustrated and all of those things. It is more than natural, it has to happen, given the circumstances he is in. I think it is very important for those emotions to be felt, because it is all a part of the healing process. You can't just brush it off every time…there are definitely moments where you have to cry, and let it all out. I have learned that the past few months. As much as i want to always be that tough girl who doesn't cry about it, because there is nothing she can do about it…i've learned that i have to. The only way i will ever heal, just like my brother, is to allow those emotions and feelings to be felt every once in awhile. But to always get back up and keep moving forward. Always.<br />
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He made it through all of the state baseball games, and refused to be anywhere else but the dugout with his team. He loves those boys and that game more than anything. He came home from an appointment the other day discouraged because he was told he would never play football again. He was really upset and down about it, so i had a long talk with him, and it was really good, we figured a lot of things out and set some goals. Even though he might not play football he will still be just as much a part of the team. His coach came over the other day to bring him his spirit pack and all the shirts have a number 7 on them with #believe4britton on them, and a really cool saying about warriors… which describes my brother perfectly. The fact that the coach and team went out of their way to do such a sweet thing for my brother and make him feel like a big part of them, means more than they will ever know, especially to him. Anyway, after our long talk, we decided that he is perfectly capable of playing baseball again and nothing can stop him from reaching that goal. So we are focused on getting better and stronger and either being able to play this season, or maybe next! But that is the plan. And I think it is possible, but it is going to take a whole lot of time work and effort to get him there!!<br />
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We were walking out of the hospital about a week ago and a little boy with special needs came up to him and was just trying to be friendly…but he said some things about Britton joining him in Special Ed next year at school because he was handicapped now and needed to be in special ed classes. Now, I know very well that this boy was just excited to see him and talk to him, and didn't know any better. But as I wheeled my brother into the elevator he burst into tears and so did I. My brother is fully aware of what is going on. He really has no mental issues or problems when it comes to real life stuff. So he gets it. Perfectly, he gets it. He doesn't want people thinking he is handicapped or has special needs. And as his sister neither do I. Because he isn't, at all. yes he has physical disabilities right now because of his injuries and his brain doesn't work exact like it used to but on the inside he is still a 16 year old boy who get's it. Who just wants to be normal and is trying so hard to be. As I sit here typing this it is so hard not to tear up at the thought of this day. All he could say is I'm not handicapped am I? Why does he think I am handicapped. Will I have to go to special ed and special needs mutual?<br />
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These questions just ripped at my heart. I was trying so hard to keep my composure and help him understand that the boy didn't mean it. This kind of thing has happened a few times, and it's just as hard every time. When we go places in public and some people stare, I just worry about him…I hope he isn't thinking too much about it or letting it get to him.<br />
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Although the other day we were searching for a parking spot and the lot was packed…the only spot open was handicapped parking….i looked at him and he looked at me, and sat there for a second, and started laughing…."I MEAN I BASICALLY AM SO JUST DO IT. What are they going to do…give me ticket. I don't think so." I died laughing. Such a crack up. That is the sense of humor that i love and absolutely could not live without. He keeps my spirits up when it should be me doing the opposite for him.<br />
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But on a lighter not, literally EVERYWHERE we go….people flock to him. and i mean, FLOCK. Like the freakin paparazzi…it is so hilarious. Especially younger kids. "Brittttttttttttton, HIIIIIIIIII Britton!!!! Can we take a picture with you?! You're awesome Britton! We love you!!!!!!" So dang cute. He loves it too, and thinks it is so funny. Me and my mom just sit back and watch. We went to Greysons 7th grade talent show (where he performed scooter tricks to the song Dynamite by the way hahahah) and after the show, i swear the whole school was in line to get a picture with Britton. If we are in a restaurant or at a ball game, no matter where we are there are always Britton fans. And I can't express how grateful we are for that. It is the greatest thing in the world to watch complete strangers introduce themselves to Britt and tell him how he has impacted their lives, or how much they love him and have prayed for him. It helps my brother to see and understand how many people love him and believe in him. He needs to see that and hear it from them. It helps him so much and gives him that little boost that he needs.<br />
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There's a few other funny things that he has said that ill tell you about real quick before i forget.<br />
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So the other day i lost my phone, and i was like, "don't you hate it when you can't find your phone?" And he said, "yeah. I haven't been able to find mine for 7 months."<br />
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He still orders a bowl of whipped cream everywhere we go.<br />
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Then we were sitting in the car at a baseball game and had the windows down. Some lady a few cars down was yelling something to one of her kids and britton thought she was talking to him…so he responded. And then she looked at him, and i was like "britton she wasn't talking to you." And he says…"Well that's what happens when you only have one eye." Cause he couldn't see her hahahahaha.<br />
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"it's common sense mom." He says that like 50 times a day.<br />
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His first attempted selfie.<br />
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OKAY. THIS ONE IS THE BEST. So remember how my mom got in a crash with those two old people in the Mcdonald's parking lot? Well every time we go there (cause my mom has to get a coke there like at least 3 times a day) every time, we are driving out (the spot where they ran into her) he says "WHAMMM-OOOOHHH" It is thee absolute funniest thing. Every. Single. Time. He doesn't forget.<br />
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My mom told him to keep an eye on ledger while she went outside, and britton says…. "okay mom. Ledger….I got my eye on you. Literally. My eye. My one eye."<br />
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So I am sitting on the couch and Britton and my mom walk in, and she walks him over to sit by me. He sits down and is looking all suspicious. My mom walks away…he looks at me and gives me the funniest look ever like he is up to something, big time. He looks back to see where my mom is, then looks at me, looks back at my mom again to make sure the coast is clear. Reaches into his pocket, and pulls out a freakin chocolate chip cookie. He starts doing this silent laugh and pointing at the cookie and at my mom. So i got the hint that he stole the cookie from my mom and put it in his pocket. I started busting up laughing and he shoved it back into his pocket and my mom walked over and asked us what was so funny. Im still laughing, and Britton is sitting there trying to look all innocent with cookie crumbs all over his lap, and my mom said..Britton why is there cookie all over you and starts brushing it off and felt the cookie in his pocket, pulled it out and was like, heyyyy i thought i left that at the store.<br />
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He is a bottomless pitt i tell you. He is never satisfied…or full. So after ever meal, he is like "mommmmmm, what's next?!" then my mom will say something like, i have fed you everything in our fridge. "BUT MOM I AM A GROWING BOY. I AM A HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPO." every single time. So then, i said…britton you are turning into a hippo. And he said, your mom's a hippo. But my mom didn't hear and we just laughed to ourselves about it hahahahaha.<br />
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"Hey look I'm Greyson"<br />
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He has this watch that his therapist gave to him because he asks everyone what time it is like a million times a day. So yeah, he has this new watch. and he has to shower with it, sleep with it, the thing doesn't come off. He won't allow it. He checks it every 5 minutes no joke it is so funny. And he made me read him the owners manual…not once, but twice. Yep. Twice, so we could learn all of the functions.<br />
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exhibit A</div>
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His truck has a security system on it, and today one of the guys who are working on the pool accidentally tapped his truck and all the alarms went off. And Britton was like, "HAAAA NOT SO FAST FELLAS. THAT THINGS ON LOCK DOWN." Just yells it from inside the house. Even though no one could hear him.<br />
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He tried to convince me to give him a piece of gum, told me that he has chewed it lots of times before and that i couldn't stop him. So i finally gave in and let him have a piece. 10 minutes later i see him searching the underneath his seat in his truck and looking all around. I asked him what he was looking for, and he said nothing. So i kept on driving. When we got out of the car, i was helping him walk into the house and noticed a huge white thing on his butt. WELL WHAT DO YA KNOW. A piece of gum stuck to his shorts. hmmm.<br />
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Anyway. Yeah, he keeps us laughing that is for sure. He has always been super funny, but kept it to himself, unless you knew him really well he'd open up to you and be himself…but he doesn't hold anything back anymore. It's all or nothing these days.<br />
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Baby Britton.<br />
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He went to a convention the other night with all of the first responders who were at the scene the day of the accident, the life flight crew, the ambulances, everyone. They presented britton's case and did a big presentation on it. I didn't get to go but my dad said it was so awesome, and they gave him a huge standing ovation and had him give a speech. He is so thankful for those special people who were there for him the day of his accident, as are we. They saved his life and acted perfectly and appropriately when he had seconds if not that to live. We will forever have a special spot for them in our hearts. The love they have shown our family and my brother the past 7 months has been absolutely incredible. And we could never repay them for what they did for him that day.<br />
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One of his trainers who helped him with lifting and speed training before all of this, comes and works with him a few times a week and it is so awesome. He pushes britton and makes him work really hard, which britton loves. It has been so good for him. Yet another example of incredible, selfless people, who give up their time and energy to help my sweet brother.<br />
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So last night was quite the night. It was a really good day that tuned really hard…really quick. My dad and Ledger headed off to vegas for a baseball tournament and Greyson was out with friends, so my mom and I decided to take Britt on a date. He wanted to go to the movie…so we got him all dressed up and headed out. He insisted on getting cotton candy because it dissolves and he wouldn't have a problem eating it. So my mom got him some and we went and sat down in the theater. Everything was going really good until he started eating the cotton candy really fast, and my mom was trying to tell him to slow down but he was getting kind of mad at her for telling him what to do. About 5 minutes later my mom noticed he was having a hard time breathing, and she kind of started to panic. He wasn't really giving her a yes or no answer, and i didn't know what to do because i didn't want to make a scene in the theater. Well…we made a scene. He started chocking, and couldn't breath. My mom was freaking out and i stood up and told someone to call 911. A few people from the row in front of us came back to help my mom pat his back while she tried to get the cotton candy out of the back of his throat. Saying it was scary was an understatement. Everything was so hectic, and everyone was panicking, and i was just frozen, not really knowing what to do. I just had this thought running through my head like, oh my gosh this can't be it. I honestly thought that he was going to pass out and stop breathing and i couldn't move or say anything really. I was sweating and felt like i was going to pass out because i was in shock and so scared and didn't know what to do. The cotton candy had become hardened in the back of his throat, and he didn't know because it is numb back there and he can't feel anything. So It was like a hockey puck in the back of his throat my mom was pounding on his back and screaming, and sticking her hand in the back of his throat to try and get it out. People turned on their flashlights on their phones to try and help us see. We poured water down his throat and he was able to cough up some of the cotton candy to wear he could swallow water and breath again. I grabbed him and tried to get him out of the theater as fast as i could, there were a lot of people around helping us and the cops showed up as soon as we got into the hallway. He was breathing fine at that point, but was in a little bit of shock. I was trying to hold back the tears and so was he. I could tell he was so embarrassed and sorry for ruining everyones movie, he told them thank you and sorry and was trying not to cry. The ambulance guys came and checked his vitals and everything was fine. But holy crap. What a nightmare. It was so scary, i can't even explain. I was so scared something was going to happen…and i couldn't help but think…not after all he's been through, not now. Thank heavens for such sweet kind, and caring people who helped us. I felt so bad after for causing such a scene and interrupting the movie, but i don't know what else we would have done. As we were walking out Britton said to one of the officers, "ill tell you what, you guys got here fast." We decided to just leave after that. Poor britt just wasn't himself the rest of the night. I had a hard time too. It just sucked. He didn't need that. I want him to feel like he can go out in public and do normal things without something always happening or going wrong. It was kind of an eye opener for all of us. It just broke my heart to see him so sad and embarrassed the rest of the night. I can't help but feel for him. I would just do anything in the world to switch him places. Anything.<br />
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Today has been great so far though. He is incredible. His spirit, his demeanor, his perspective. Each day i am in awe at the young man he has become.<br />
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I hope you know how special you all are to him and to my entire family. NO way would he be here without your prayers, love and service. We could never thank you enough. PLease please please keep those prayers coming. He still needs them just as bad as before. If theres something specific you could pray for it would be that the nerves dealing with his eyes and facial muscles can heal properly and start to function normally again so that he can see. And that he can continue to gain physically strength. Thank you thank you thank you a million trillion times. WE love you. Keep believing.<br />
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XOXO Autumn<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14706138648602784868noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20361926193901316.post-35823870127237776452015-05-10T21:47:00.003-07:002015-05-10T21:47:50.156-07:00Keepin On<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It's been a couple weeks! We are still alive though, don't worry.<br />
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Britt is doing awesome, he really is. I am so impressed with the boy, i can't even explain it. It is a lot harder to notice the progress and improvements nowadays, with the schedule and type of therapy that he gets now…but it is definitely still there. It has taken some time to adjust to this new routine, of being home and having to go over for therapy and speech and appointments and all that. And i don't think we are fully adjusted yet, we still have a lot to figure out and get better at. There have been lots of ups and downs the past couple of weeks. It's been, what…about 6 and 1/2 months now since the accident, and i keep thinking that it'll start to get easier at some point…but it just doesn't. Every day is hard. Every day we have to fight that broken heart feeling that tries to creep in, the fear, the frustration, the doubt. To watch my sweet brother go through nights where all he can do is sob tears of confusion and disappointment, in fear that he may never be able to do the things he once could. It is so hard to know what to say. It's hard to be strong for him all the time too, to always be optimistic and uplifting. Sometimes all i want to do is break down and cry right beside him. It's those moments that are the absolute hardest for me, and i think for the rest of my family as well. It is the worst thing in the world to watch your little brother go through that, to be so discouraged and afraid. I pray with everything in me that he will never give up and that he will continue to believe in himself as much as the rest of us do. And i know he will and does, I just think there are moments where he looses sight of things and needs to let those feelings he hides so well, be felt. Being patient is so hard. But i know it is what we have to do. I know that with time things will get better, that thankfully, time is on our side. I know that as long as we continue to put our faith in the Lord and his plan and power, that my brother will continue to heal. I know that we have to do our part as well though, that Britton has to work hard, and put in the time and effort to get better, if it is going to happen. I think that is one thing that has been hard for us lately. We aren't the therapist at the rehab unit. We are just his family, thankfully we got to learn from all those great therapists and know some basic things, but it is so hard to take time out of the day to really focus on doing exercises and certain workouts like they did at the hospital. It is a lot harder than we thought it would be. Busy busy busy, all day, my mom is a busy lady, making sure she is giving him all his medications, eye drops, water, food, at the right times and in the right amounts. She's amazing, i don't know how she does what she does. We have just been trying to keep britt busy, so he doesn't have time to sit around and think about things. As far as his speech goes, i haven't noticed much of a difference, he still has a long way to go, and part of the problem is the numbness in his mouth and the mechanics…they aren't working like they are supposed to. His eyesight is up and down, somedays better than others, but the past couple days we have had a lot of problems with his eyes. He can hardly see out of the one that is half open, and the one that doesn't open can see close up and is looking in a different direction. They think these are problems from the stroke. They are contemplating a few options to help the healing process of his eyes. One of those is to sew his eyelid shut so that it can't be scratched or upset in any way, but they aren't sure if they'll go through with it. They can't really tell us exactly what is going on with them, because they don't know. So we just have to pray that the nerves and everything will heal and eventually start to work and function properly so that he can see normally. It really does affect a lot, him not being able to see. It affects his physical mobility and his motor skills, his reading, and cognitive ability. It's just hard to do a lot when you can't see what it is you are doing. So prayers are much needed for that!! He still has his peg tube in his stomach because he isn't able to drink enough water though his mouth yet, but he is getting better at it everyday! His fine motor skills are coming along! He tied his shoes for the first time this week, it took him about 30 minutes for one show but he did it! He can now put on his seatbelt by himself too! that used to take him forever, to find the right part where it clicks.<br />
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We got to go to salt lake this weekend, and britt threw out the first pitch for the Utah softball team. he loved every second, and had so much fun! It made me so happy to see him so happy, and to see all of the people who love and support him up there. Im super thankful for my team and coaches and the amazing support they have been to him and my family through all of this. They are incredible. He also got a system put in his truck from Califonia Audio…such amazing guys. They will never in a million years know how much that meant to Britt. He gets the biggest smile on his face when they turn the bass all the way up bump in the cooker. It's selfless acts of service like that, that truly amaze me. I can't believe how good people are. We are so thankful for all of the generous things people do to put a smile on our sweet boy's face. Because there truly is nothing better. But boy, good hearts…really good hearts out there. We are so very grateful.<br />
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He is still as hilarious as ever. Actually i think he gets funnier every day. You ought to hear the thing that come out of his mouth. He has me laughing all day long. I love his personality and charisma. Im so thankful he has that, and that he is always putting a smile on other peoples faces with this spunk and quirkiness. Everyday i thank the heavens above for him. For all of the blessing and miracles that have taken place. To have him in my life, and improving everyday is more than i could ever ask for. There are hard days, really really hard days, and i wish with all my heart i could just wake up and this would have all been a dream, but we have been given so much…much more than we deserve, and for that i am eternally grateful. I know there are going to be tough days, and a lot of tears and heartbreak, but with that comes the other, days full of happiness and success. I still believe in my sweet brother, just as much as i did on day one…I know that with faith, prayer and hard work, he can get to where he wants to be. That the lord has performed many miracles thus far, and is capable of plenty more if we have the faith.<br />
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Thank you for your service, your prayers, and your never-ending love and support. Please please please, keep the prayers coming, he needs them everyday!! we love you:)<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14706138648602784868noreply@blogger.com217tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20361926193901316.post-491644605974298212015-04-27T22:10:00.002-07:002015-04-27T22:10:58.607-07:00Keep BelievingLittle Recap on the week.<br />
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Britt had a lot of doctor appointments and follow ups this past week. He got to hang out with his buddies a few times too! The high school recognized him at an assembly (i wasn't here) but my mom said it was awesome, and that Britt got up there and gave a speech like he was the class president. hahaha, i can imagine. He got a visit from some of the coaches from SUU, and we got to visit with them for the evening. The Utah Summer Games committee chose to give Britt the Spirit of the Games award, and light the torch at the opening ceremonies. He is so excited about it. He has been to a few of the baseball games this week too! Yesterday he went to the full 3 hour block of church, and did such a great job. He is reallymgetting the hang of feeding himself, super messy, but we will take it! Today he was sitting on the couch, crawled not he ground, grabbed the remote control, climbed back up, went to the dvr menu, scrolled till he found Dumb and dumber and fast forwarded it to all of his favorite parts, completely by himself. it was hilarious. Today he went to the eye doctor again, and was pretty frustrated after the appointment. I think not being able to see very clearly at all is really difficult for him. I can understand why. We are just praying and hoping that with time and patience his eyes and vision will heal and come back. Today i was sorting through videos and pictures, a lot from the beginning of this whole thing. And it was so crazy to me. I think my mind has just blocked out all those days in the beginning, trying to forget them. I forgot how bad it actually was, how scary. Watching those videos forced me to relieve and remember it all and i couldn't believe it. My heart was so overwhelmed with gratitude. It was a really strong feeling, and i felt so thankful for how far he had come, and for all the miracles that had taken place along the way. It is still so crazy to me that it even happened. Tonight was really hard for my brother, he went to the game, and i think it just hit him that he can't be out there on the field playing with his buds. He has been crying for a couple hours now since he's been home, and there is nothing we can say or do to make the hurt go away. it is the hardest thing in the world to watch him go through this, but we just hope for better days to come and continue to put our faith in the lord and his plan, and his capability to heal my brother with work and patience on our end. Thank you for all the love and support you continually show us and my sweet brother:) we couldn't do it without you!! Keep believing!<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14706138648602784868noreply@blogger.com101tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20361926193901316.post-66830674803400743312015-04-19T19:55:00.004-07:002015-04-19T19:55:57.532-07:00"If ya scared, go to church"Today was a really really great day…britton kept on saying "if you're scared, go to church." which is from a rap we used to sing.<br />
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Okay, but first of all…I get home last night, walk into my mom and dad's room to grab something before I went up to bed, and Greyson is sleeping on the couch in their room, Ledger is on the bed with britt, and my mom and dad are in their bed. All of them. sleeping in the same room. This has been an on going thing. And then I'm the outcast, left to fend for myself and sleep upstairs alone….hmm. cool.<br />
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So today, it was great. We all got ready in my moms room cause that is what we do on sundays. I guess our family just has this weird thing with congregating together all in the same room. But anyway, it was so great to be rushing, and yelling at each other and chasing my brothers around the room to get them to comb their hair and put on their church clothes. It was a typical sunday morning. BUT WE WERENT EVEN LATE TO CHURCH. that….was not typical by any means. It was so good to be sitting together in church with each other again. its been a long time coming. I couldn't help but sit there and think back on those first couple of weeks, me and my mom and two younger brothers in sacrement trying to hold back our tears and the anxiety of not knowing what might be going on at the hospital…praying our phones didn't go off with my dads name on the screen. Those were some really tough days. I am so glad we are past that.<br />
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And then looking around at the incredible ward family we have. I couldn't help but tear up. Their prayers, and dinners, and service, and love, and constant support…has been so special, and has meant so much to us. You could tell everyone was so glad to see britt back. And ohhhhhhh he looked so handsome, all dressed up.<br />
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We sat at home, watched baseball, lounged around, ate chocolate chip cookies, did some workouts with therapist autumn and her assistant sommer, they are highly skilled and trained therapists…if you were wondering.<br />
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Then Britt's friend Seth came over to hang out with him for awhile, which he loved!! And his friends Kaleb and Brenton came and got him to take him on a ride. It was his first outing with friends, me and my mom walked in the house and looked at each other and were like…"aweeeeeee." It means so much, not only to him, but us. Because britt loves his friends so much, all he talks about is wanting to see them and hang out with them all day! He just wants to be normal and be with the bros like old times. So for them to do those little things, means the world and so much more.<br />
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Thank you for all the prayers! They are working, every minute of every day. Thank you for all the sweet comments, on the blog and everywhere else. They mean so much to me.<br />
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Today i am especially grateful for my Savior and loving Heavenly Father. They have given me more than i could have ever imagined or ever deserved. God's love for us is unimaginable and undefinable. The savior knows us each, as individuals, by name, he knows our weaknesses and our strengths, our sorrows and our joy. He is there to help us, the heal us and to guide us when we cannot do it alone. He is there for us in our darkest hours and greatest achievements. He loves us, and he lives.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14706138648602784868noreply@blogger.com106tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20361926193901316.post-79879702000889224782015-04-17T18:55:00.001-07:002015-04-17T18:55:08.705-07:00Honey I'm Home<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Well, it's been exactly a week since we got to bring our boy back home…and what a wonderful week it has been. I don't even know where to begin, so much has happened!<br />
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Being home is perfect. It just feels good, and right, and normal. It is a lot easier on all of us, not having to revolve our lives and schedules around the hospital and who needs to be there at certain times. It is so great to be wight he whole family, around the dinner table and on the couch at night watching sports center and movies like old times. I have seen my dad more in the past week than i have seen him in the last 6 months combined!!<br />
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We have had so many generous friends and strangers come and help us fix up things in our house that have needed fixing for a long time, and it has made it that much better for Britt to come home to. I still cannot get over all the support. It blows my mind, every second of every day…like how do you wrap your head around that? So many people, who love a single boy, and his family. People have good souls and good hearts. And I love that.<br />
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Britt has bed down in my mom and dad's room, with a state of the art mattress on it. no joke. that thing is sent from the heavens or something. Where Britton is, we are all snuggling up next to him. It is a fight….like UFC status, every night for who gets to sleep with him. hahahahhaha. He is definitely loved, that is for sure.<br />
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hahahhahahahah. britt has to wear these goggles when he sleeps, i know...he looks like a fly but aren't they so cute?!</div>
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He has been to the eye doctor a couple times this week, and his ulcer in his left eye is gone!!! So awesome, right?! we are so excited about it!! Now we just need those nerves and muscles to correct themselves so he can see normally out of both eyes, eventually.<br />
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He started his out patient therapy! He goes over to the hospital and works with some really awesome therapists that we already love! He only has about 20 visits for the rest of the year, which is really unfortunate. So they see him once a week for occupational therapy and physical therapy, and once for speech therapy! It's not what we are used to with therapists working with him every day for 4-5 or so hours…this time around it is mostly on us, his family, to listen and learn what the therapists teach us so we can implement it at home and help him here the other 7 days out of the week. It is kind of stressful, because we don't want him to go backwards, so its important for us to make sure we get the most out of him here at home with our inner physical therapist hahaha;)<br />
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He has been really tired lately, takes a lot of naps and lays down for what seems like most of the day. We try to keep him busy and occupied so he doesn't get tired and has time to think about things. There have been a few instances this week where he wasn't really doing much and started thinking about everything that has happened and all that is different, which makes him really emotional. Those are the hard days. It is so difficult to know what to say or do…we just have to let him cry and know that we are here for him and we are going to get through it…together.<br />
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He likes to go on drives, roll down the windows and turn up the music…so we do that lots! He has been watching youtube a lot…he loves the "uptown funk" music video…he gets the biggest kick out of it, and watches it over and over and over again. Him and the other two boys have been watching this show called dude perfect where a bunch of boys do all these trick shots and cool stunts with all the different sports. They love it. Him and ledger love watching the walking dead together. They used to do it every night before his accident. Today he took about 5 steps towards me on his own, probably 4 times in a row. It was so great! I think he could be walking within a month if we really work on it!<br />
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The other morning, i was sleeping upstairs, and britton crawled in my room and woke me up by scaring me. it was so funny. typical britt.<br />
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He is getting better at feeding himself, a little bit more everyday, and he has really improved with drinking!! so hopefully that G-tube in his stomach can come out soon.<br />
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He had one request this week.<br />
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Mcdonalds. A big Mac, and a large fry.<br />
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So we did what the boy asked.<br />
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Even though we had to blend it up in the blender, it smelled the same to me, and it tasted the same to him hahaha. He was the happiest boy alive that day.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14706138648602784868noreply@blogger.com62tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20361926193901316.post-64497267047405152862015-04-12T17:09:00.002-07:002015-04-12T17:12:00.145-07:00Welcome Home Little BrotherHES HOME!!!!<br />
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britton and his friend "charlie"</div>
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this is steve, brittons therapist…he has had a huge impact on brittons life. I can't say enough about him and how much he means to our family. </div>
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Words can't express how happy we are, how thankful and how humbled. So many people worked so hard to make his coming home oh so special, and we can't thank you enough for doing that for him! The last couple of days have been nothing but perfect. We are home, with our britt, and all together as a family again.<br />
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Friday was such an emotional day. Bittersweet in every aspect of the word. One second i was crying because i was sad we were leaving such an incredible place and people, the next i was crying because i was so proud of Britt and so happy to have finally made it to this day, and the next minute i was crying because…well i didn't even know why!!<br />
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Earlier that day Britton walked for the first time on his own. He took about 10 steps. Even though i wasn't there, my dad filmed it on his phone, and it was easily one of the most incredible things I've seen so far. My dad had a smile a mile wide. still does. How crazy is that? On the last day…he walks? Such a tender mercy. It gave us that little bit of hope that we needed so badly leaving the hospital!<br />
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I was standing outside the door to the gym, just watching Britt as he worked so hard in his last hours of therapy. I've never seen him do so well, and be so proficient. I couldn't believe it…it was like all of his hard work was all coming together on the final day! How awesome. He was nearing the end of his therapy, and you could tell he was so tired from working so hard. He was doing a crawling exercise and trying to get up a bench…he kept on losing his balance and falling over, he took a few really hard falls. But he kept on getting back up and trying. He would fall again, and you could slowly see the frustration kicking in…he hit his hand really hard and banged his leg on the bench, the frustration got the best of him and he couldn't hold back his tears. He layer there on the floor hands covering his face and cried. My heart really went out to my little brother in that moment. I couldn't and still can't understand how he does it. How he falls time and time again and keeps on getting back up. To see him struggling and failing like that broke my heart, even though he had good reason…he had been going for hours and his body was fatigued. I walked in and sat down next to him as soon as i had gotten ride of my own tears and gained composure…we talked for a second and he wiped his own tears and got right back up and finished the exercise.<br />
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His nurse troy wrote a song on the guitar for him, and played it for britt. Just the two of them in the room. When he walked out i could tell it was a special moment for both of them. People were crying all day, red, puffy eyes…all of us, our family, the staff. When we got britts room all cleaned out and all our crap out of there, it looked so bare and empty. It was the strangest feeling seeing it like that. Everyone kept on saying they won't be able to put anyone in that room for a long time, and they'll have to cover there eyes when they walk past…because its britts room.<br />
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The staff put on a little celebration going away party for him and it was so great. It was decorated all cute with baseballs hanging from the ceilings, banners, and food and treats! Everyone came, all of his nurses and therapists. It was so special. We are so lucky to have been in such an amazing place with even more amazing people. They helped us get our britt back. And we will forever love them like our family, because they are. They'll never know how much they've done for us, and for my brother. Like my dad says…its not necessarily about the facility, or the equipment, or the knowledge, the ratings…it's about the people. And the way everyone at the acute rehab unit has loved my brother like their own, pushed him to his limits, believed in him…and that's what has gotten him to this point…those people. Who are so special to our hearts. We will miss seeing their smiling faces, the long days, and the late nights, the inside jokes, the quirks, the notes, and the sweet spirits. We can't wait to go back and visit everyday….okay maybe not everyday, but every other AT LEAST!!;)<br />
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It was crazy leaving the hospital, knowing that we wouldn't be coming back in the morning and doing it all over again like the last 5 and 1/2 months. I still haven't really processed that.<br />
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As we drove home, it seemed like every business had "welcome home Britton" up on their marquee. It was so cool. SO COOL. The streets were lined with banners and signs, balloons and ribbons all over the trees. People honked as we were driving by, and as we turned onto old farm road, the street was lined with friends and family, cheering for our Britt. I was overcome with emotion as my little brother waved to them all, tears in his eyes and a tremble in his voice. How did we get so lucky to have such an incredible community? Thank you to everyone who put work into making this so memorable and special.<br />
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The next day, saturday, there was a shin dig at the park for Britt, and so many people came from all over the town! He rode on a fire truck there, which was so much fun for him! and when we pulled up the big crowd clapped and cheered for him as he got off the truck, the cheerleaders made a tunnel for him to walk through to the stage. He told everyone thank you for coming and thank you for all the love and support. I am at a loss for words at the gratitude i feel for this community, and their love and support. Really it is impossible to describe. I truly believe there is no place like this in the world, where a town, friends, family, and strangers from a far can come together and rally around a boy and his family the way it has been done for us. I feel so privilege to be apart of this place i call home, and all the people who are a part of it. I feel that service is hands down the most christ like attribute, and i have witnessed that in so many people these past months…it has changed me, as a person, sister, daughter, and friend. It has saved my family and my brother. And my testimony has been strengthened because of it, because of others who serve so willingly for those who need it. I know how big of an impact a simple act of selfless service can have on someone, because i have experienced that first hand, too many times to count now.<br />
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I can't say enough about Britt's friends, his buddies his pals, and his favorite blonde haired girls. They have been his angels, for sure. They have been our angels. They haven't given up on him, not for a single second. Their commitment has been nonstop, in and out of the hospital every single day since his accident. Even when he is sleeping, or in therapy, or eating, or busy with whatever, they come, and they sit there…just to be there for him. They've kept his spirits high when they were fading, they have treated him the exact same although things are much different. They don't make him feel different, they love him just the same. The thing britton was most excited about was coming home to see his friends, and hang out. He probably said it a thousand times. He loves you guys. You mean the world to him. thank you for being there for him through the thick and the thin. I know that he is going to need you now…more than ever as he heads into this next stage.<br />
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This morning we had CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!! It was perfect. Together as a family. Britt got a lot of presents. which he totally deserves. We listened to christmas music and had a big giant breakfast like we usually do. I couldn't help but reflect back on christmas day, 4 months ago….we were all sitting in the living room when we had finished opening our presents and we all started crying and just held each other. It was a really hard day as a family, to be missing our 6th man. At that point, britt had still been in his coma…and things were still very up in the air. Now, to be here today, same spot in our living room, opening presents, all together, with our 6th man…is an indescribable feeling. So thankful.<br />
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SHOUT OUT TO THE SANTA CLARA 1ST WARD FOR BEING THE REAL MVP'S. man. we are so lucky to be a part of such an incredible ward, full of members who are so giving and generous and loving. I don't know if you heard but they have been bringing us meals for the bast 160 some odd days now….CAN I GET AN AMEN? The relief society has a special spot in my heart for sure. They are such angels. that is a lot of days, and a lot of meals. It saved my mom a lot of stress and work. And helped us kids not to starve to death;) just kidding, but kind of not really kidding hahaha. My mom has now restocked the pantry and the fridge after it has been completely barren for 6 months….hallelujah. merry christmas to me. Seriously though. I don't know if I've ever been so happy. I open the fridge up and there is actual food in there….food that isn't expired. I had to open it up a few times to make sure i wasn't seeing things or dreaming.<br />
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I will definitely still be keeping up the blog now that he is home! It might not be every day, but ill keep everyone up to date on all the good stuff:) Thank you for being such great followers and caring enough about him to read each day. It means the world.<br />
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Here is a video of Britt's last day at the hospital and his home coming!<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14706138648602784868noreply@blogger.com59tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20361926193901316.post-1678964930389826282015-04-08T22:34:00.001-07:002015-04-08T22:51:05.620-07:00The Last DaysI'm officially the worst blogger ever....<br />
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Soooooo! ONE MORE DAY TILL BRITT COMES HOME!!!!! He is basically counting down the seconds. It's definitely a bitter sweet thought though. Leaving such great nurses and friends that him and our family have grown to love the past 5 months!! He did some obstacle courses today, and a lot of walking yesterday. We have been playing games lately like uno and connect four...his motor skills have gotten SOOOO much better. He can pick up cards like it ain't no thang. He even beat his therapist 2/3 times in connect four!!haha he went to the eye doctor again and it seems that his vision has slightly improved and the ulcer on his left eye is healing!! Thank goodness. He has been working extra hard with speech lately too! Him and his speech therapist are real good buddies, britt loves him and talks about how much he is going to miss him all the time. He's gonna miss a lot of his friends from acute rehab! They're probably so excited to get rid of us though;)hahahaha we might need a moving truck for all our crap.</div>
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Keep praying for our britt!! For his eyes, and his walking, his eating and his motor skills. And for that little heart of his, that he can believe in himself as much as the rest of us do.<br />
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here is a hilarious video of him with my glasses on saying "ohhh look at me *peace signs* I'm Autumn now." my mom sent it to me haha typical britton.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14706138648602784868noreply@blogger.com92tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20361926193901316.post-56914494048733007772015-04-05T16:02:00.001-07:002015-04-05T16:02:07.905-07:00"Easters"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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remember how my aunt sheila and her friend dressed up as snowmen on christmas and came to visit britt….well…they've done it again!</div>
Happy Easter!!!<br />
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And I'm sorry for being M.I.A for a week. It was a busy one!<br />
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So little recap on the past week for ya…<br />
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Britt has graduated from eating pureed meals, to finely chopped…pretty dang sweet, am i right?! haha<br />
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He came home almost every day this week for a few hours to take a shower and do therapy. He has gotten so so so much better at crawling up and down the stairs, getting in and out of his bed, and finding his way around the house! He can't wait to come home for good next weekend!<br />
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I got to spend the night at the hospital with him from wednesday to friday! And let me tell ya, it was a party. But so much respect to my dad for sleeping on a cot for 150+ nights, because…..NOT COMFORTABLE…not at all. You're the man dad. But we snuggled, and watched movies together in his bed, and it was a fun time!! To wake me up in the middle of the night if he had to use the restroom, he would kick his legs up and down, and it didn't take long to get my attention, hahahah. so funny. Also when britt has been sleeping for while it is the most hilarious thing when he wakes up, you know how we are all groggy and kind of out of it, well multiply that by 500 plus being hit by a trailer and getting thrown around in a tornado, and that is what britton is like. Not exaggerating. okay maybe a little, but you get the idea. You cannot understand a thing he is trying to say, and his hair is out of control and he has these goggles on that look like fly eyes so he has zero awareness of where he is or his surroundings. Too dang funny.<br />
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It was a great week for him, although he had his moments of discouragement. There were a few times when we were driving home in his truck and he just broke down…in fear that he wouldn't be able to drive his own truck again, he told me he couldn't remember how to drive and he didn't know any of the rules anymore, and they wouldn't let him have a license. There were times when i would catch him staring at old pictures in his room at the hospital and he would strait to cry and shake his head, i could tell he was having a hard time dealing wight he fact that he is a little bit different than the boy he sees in the pictures, at least physically. But we talked, and came to the conclusion that there is no reason he can't get back to that down the road. There were times where he would say hi to someone or try to talk to them and get their attention, but they couldn't understand him or hear him and it was really disappointing to him…he feels bad when people don't respond when he is trying to be friendly, but i don't think its because they don't reply…i think it's because they can't really hear him and understand him. He doesn't have the clearest vocabulary and his voice can't go very loud, and that is hard for him to handle sometimes. He gets discouraged with his eating, he has a hard time getting it all down, and most of the time, more food comes back out of his mouth than he swallows…so that is hard for him too.<br />
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I think he is just starting to understand more, realize more. So he has his moments, which…given his situation, is completely normal and understandable. But other than those few minutes of tears every day…the rest is a smiling happy and fun loving boy, determined to work hard and get better!<br />
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So here is a funny experience from this week. It's kind of….maybe not the best to share, but WHAT THE HAY WE HAVE CROSSED THAT BRIDGE ALREADY HAVENT WE?<br />
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So i was helping him go to the bathroom one day, just me, britton and the toilet. And he was done and needed someone to help him, and he looked and me and handed me the wipes and i said…uhhhhhh? Then he says…"Aut, I'll tell you what…this is bonding at the highest level…"<br />
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I laughed so hard, for probably an hour. Im still laughing actually. So i made him promise when I'm an old granny in the old folks home he has to return the favor;)<br />
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So yesterday was really great! Me and my mom took britt on our usual walk around the temple grounds, but then we decided to check our the visitors center cause it had been awhile since we'd been there. We walked in and looked at the statue of christ for awhile, chatted with the missionaries, and then we went in the theater and watched the "Because He Lives" video on the big screen. It was just us three in there. and the movie started to play, and my mom read the words to britt as they came on the screen. The spirit was incredibly strong…maybe the strongest I've ever felt it. We were all bawling, sitting there arms around each other. It wasn't just one of those good feelings, kind of fuzzy and warm…it was very profound, deep, real and powerful, almost overcoming feeling…that not only touched my heart and mind, but everything in me. It was just incredible. And the best feeling. And i feel like every word, every image, every clip...hit home. Everything we have experienced the past 6 months…related perfect to the words on the screen. Because He Lives…I have my miracle of a brother sitting next to me. Because He Lives, I understand and know true happiness. Because He Lives, death hath no sting, and the grave hath no victory over us, and Satan hath no lasting power. Because He Lives, i have an eternal family. And Because He Lives, my imperfections and inequities can be strengthened and forgiven through his sacrifice and everlasting love and grace. <br />
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Here is the video, I know most of you have already seen it, but if not…have a look!<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14706138648602784868noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20361926193901316.post-81452248398718511892015-03-30T15:34:00.000-07:002015-03-30T15:34:01.540-07:006 monthsHoly cow, can you believe we are on the 6th month?! How crazy is that! Britt is doing so amazing. Every day, making improvements. He is becoming more of himself too, personality wise. He is a lot more aware and cognitive…he asks relevant questions and you can have real conversation with him. He is starting to piece together longer sentences and he is as witty as ever. I feel like as time goes on, it will only get better and better. His physical strength is getting so much better too. I think in a month or so he might just be walking! Such a fun thought.<br />
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he just said to me, "I need driving flash cards. I can't remember how to. All I know is green means go, red means stop, and yellow means slowdown. And that's a hazard." hahahahhah<br />
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Here is a video of the past month!:)<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14706138648602784868noreply@blogger.com389tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20361926193901316.post-50106903781331464882015-03-26T18:11:00.004-07:002015-03-26T18:11:55.360-07:00Hungry Hippo<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Quick recap on the last couple of days.<br />
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Yesterday Britt did a lot of climbing stairs, and he did better than ever at it. He has the butt scoot down to a "T". He also went to another eye doctor appointment! Those poor eyes of his, we are trying to get that figured out. He also went home for a couple hours to do some more therapy, he crawled all around the house, practiced getting up our stairs and in and out of his bathroom and bed. I got to drive him home, just me and him in his truck. It was so fun, we jammed out to our favorite music and he remembered every word to all the old songs. He even rolled down the window and was doing the hand wave. hahha.<br />
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He came home today to shower and practice the stairs and crawling around again. they are going to start doing this more often to get him acquainted with our home again and how he is going to get around. He came back and did some more therapy, and worked on his speech like everyday!<br />
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My mom got him a helmet. hahahha. you should've seen her testing it out. Crawling around banging her head on the floor and against the walls. Oh, it was a sight let me tell you. She still doesn't think there is enough padding in it. He also has knee pads he wears when he crawls. So basically what I'm getting at here, is we have a new sk8r boi in down…aka tony hawk, you can catch him at your local skate park.<br />
<br />
Lately every time his food arrives, he says…"feed me, I'm a hungry hungry hippo."<br />
<br />
He sure knows how to put down food. There isn't a trace left on his plates after each meal. And he gets genuinely mad if we don't scrape every single last bit of it off and feed it to him. I say, "britt you are going to weigh 500 pounds by the time you get out of here." he relies with "Thats fine by me."<br />
<br />
Today he was laying down and he said "mom, i need you to buy me some math flashcards." and my mom said, oh i have some in my purse. Then britt says, "what. who the heck carries flash cards in their purse?"<br />
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We worked on them for a long time. He was kind of struggling with a few of them, and he said, "man, i forgot everything." and started getting teary eyed, but i hurried and changed the subject and he was fine. But it kind of tugged at my heart strings. Can you imagine? 4+1 being a no brainer 5 months ago, and now he had to sit and think about it for at least a couple of minutes. That would be so frustrating. But he is so positive and light hearted and just keeps on going! I love that about him.<br />
<br />
THe last couple of days, watching my brother in therapy and at home, i have really noticed how much he has improved. He has so much more balance and strength. When he crawls around we don't have to hold our breath and stay a few inches from him incase he face plants…we can keep our distance and just watch him do his thing. He has gotten so much better at it. He can stand up and balance by himself for a solid 30 seconds, and he can kneel without falling over now. It really is so impressive. Things, that a week ago…we're still coming together…and they still are a little bit, but wow! So much improvement, even in just a week.<br />
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He is starting to piece together longer sentences and phrases and not just a couple of words, or one word answers. You can sit down and have an actual real conversation with him, and understand him fairly well.<br />
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Today we had some visitors, and they couldn't understand what he was saying, and of course I'm over here telling them…and he points to me and laughs and says "ask my translator"!<br />
<br />
He is just the sweetest thing though. Always letting people know how thankful he is, always making sure they are happy and okay, always asking about how they are. My favorite is when we have visitors and he tells them "thank you for seeing me, it means a lot." or "thank you for visiting, and coming by" He is always complimenting people and never passes by without waving and saying hi. And he is always doing "great!"<br />
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Such a champ.<br />
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Thank you for your love and prayers. And thank you for believing in my brother since day 1.<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14706138648602784868noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20361926193901316.post-85373742651719412232015-03-23T20:45:00.001-07:002015-03-23T20:45:12.216-07:00Play Ball<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
Today was a really great day!<br />
<br />
Britt worked so hard this morning, super steve set up an obstacle course, and they pretended he was on American Ninja Warrior and he had to get through the course as fast as he could to qualify!haha He had to crawl, get over things, sit up, stand up, and all sorts of crazy. He did so good though! I was so proud of him. They took him off the tube feeds…YIPEEEEE! so now he just eats his 3 big meals and 10 milkshakes a day!:) he was so excited to hear the good news. He won't be getting his feeding tube out though anytime soon because they still have to give him his water and other fluids through that. He always says "FEEEEEEEEEEEEED MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" and he refers to his body image these days as "gerthy" haha.<br />
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Ledger claims he was sick with a headache today, so he didn't go to school…..typical. He spent the day with us at the hospital. and he sure didn't seem sick to me. little punk.<br />
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Today I was helping Britt do something and he was trying to tell me something, but i couldn't understand him. Then he just started crying. I tried to get him to calm down, and asked him what was the matter….and after he had stopped crying for a sec…he looked up and said, "autty this just sucks."<br />
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It was so sad. I didn't really know what to say, other than….you are so right britt….this freakin sucks. BAD. And then we talked about how much it sucked for a second and complained a little. Then I had to bring him back down to earth and give one of my state of the art (hahahahhahahahah aka super cheesy and terrible) pep talks. I think he just gets frustrated sometimes with the situation, his older sister having to help him go to the bathroom, and then me not being able to understand what he was trying to tell me….i mean, can you even imagine the frustration you would feel?! i cant. I admire the way he handles everything, good and bad. No way can it be even close to easy.<br />
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Tonight we got to go be apart of the washington little league opening ceremonies! Britton LOVED every second of it, and so did we. They had him throw the first pitch for baseball and I threw it for softball. Which is hilarious, because i left my pitching legacy behind in little league when i was 13. (side not: i was legitimately freaking out all week about this! like no pressure you were just a college softball player so you better throw a dang strike…..well i wouldn't have exactly called it a strike, it was a little out of the zone, ill just say it was my rise ball hahahaha, but my cute little catcher caught it like a champ and saved my pride) But Britt did awesome, and everyone gave him a standing ovation and chanted his name. You should've seen him, totally in his element, a big ol smile on his face, waving and telling everyone "thank you for having me". All of the little kids huddling around him after, giving his knuckles and snapping pictures. That brother of mine is a hero to so many. And I'm so thankful that he has the support and love of all those little ball players and their families. It was such an awesome experience, and we are so thankful they had us out! It's just another example of how incredible this community we live in is. As we were wheeling him to the car, he says "wow that was so much fun, thank you dad, thank you mom, for letting me come." It's the greatest thing to see him so happy like that.<br />
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I have to drive his truck now, ever since my mom's little car incident with the elderly, cause she drives mine…so today when i was leaving the hospital, he looks at me and says "now listen, you drive really really careful, and safe, and don't hurt my truck."<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14706138648602784868noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20361926193901316.post-45526814806605018712015-03-22T19:19:00.000-07:002015-03-22T19:19:03.277-07:00Surprise<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
Today was the greatest.<br />
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Britt got to come home for a couple hours! We sat on the couch, invaded each others personal bubbles, watched basketball games, called each other names and did what siblings do, ate my dads birthday cake, and just relaxed. Like old times.<br />
<br />
It was just perfect, really. For us to all be home, under the same roof, after so long.<br />
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It's so crazy because when this all happened, that's all i could hope for…was to someday be together as a family in our home again. And here we are. I think having britt home is going to be so awesome, we can't wait for that day. It is for sure going to be weird though. We are never all together at home, because one of us is always at the hospital with Britt. It's almost like the hospital is our home, and ouur home is just a place we go to sleep! So it will be nice to get back to normal, because normal hasn't existed for so long. But until then he still has some very crucial weeks ahead of him at the hospital. It's really important that he gets the most out of however much longer he is there for, because once he gets home he won't get the kind of attention and intensity he gets here!<br />
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My heart is just really full today. Full of gratitude and love for this family of mine. For my brother. For all of you. Your prayers and service have been the fuel behind the fire, I know that for a fact. We owe everything to you for doing what you've done.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14706138648602784868noreply@blogger.com188tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20361926193901316.post-59259875556889341552015-03-21T19:26:00.000-07:002015-03-21T19:27:50.307-07:00Babysitting Duty<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Today we didn't spend much time at the hospital, which was really weird actually. My grandma came down for the weekend to make my dad a cake (hahaha) and tend Britton while we went to Ledgers baseball games. It was so nice to be at the game with my mom and watch my dad coach Ledger's little 9U baseball team. My grandma has been with Britt all day and is going to watch him so we can go to dinner for my dad's birthday! She is the best!<br />
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Therefore, i don't have much update on B unit…other than, he is still going strong in the eating department…breakfast, lunch and dinner today! He get's better at eating every day! He mostly just slept, which is perfectly fine, because he needs his rest and it's not very often that he gets it!<br />
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A lot of people have been asking about t shirts, so here is some information on those!<br />
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Also. I have a funny story. So today, my mom got in a wreck. A 90 year old couple t-boned her int he mcdonalds parking lot. Go figure. My mom in the mcdonalds parking lot? WHO WOULDA THUNK? hahahahahaha (she accounts for 90% of their business probably) anyway. She gets hit, pretty bad, so my dad heads over to help her. And he goes to open up the car door and my mom has them, both of the people, sitting in the back of her car, air conditioner blasting, with drinks watching a disney movie. </div>
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go ahead and laugh….</div>
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i mean, what?!</div>
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My mother. She is too funny. She felt so bad for them, and didn't want them to panic. hahahahhahaha so that is our day in a nutshell. </div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14706138648602784868noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20361926193901316.post-58130025992546668612015-03-20T19:31:00.001-07:002015-03-20T19:31:19.572-07:00FOOOOOOOOOOOODBritt is 2/2 on meals today. He ate every single last bite of his breakfast and lunch…which is kind of a big deal. The sooner we get him eating good, the sooner that feeding tube in his belly comes out.<br />
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He sure worked hard today! But what did you expect, right? We had a few visitors and we went outside for awhile…he definitely got a little burnt. Oops…my bad. He said "sun's out gun's out", and rolled up his sleeves and pulled his short legs up.<br />
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We had a concert today. Sang all sorts of fun songs. THe best was Britt singing "firework" by katy parry. So dang funny. He gets real into it, dance moves and all. It has been the funniest thing lately, he always is singing one liners from popular songs and commercials if it applies to what we are talking about.<br />
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He has been doing lots of sit-ups on his own at night to get that six pack back and work off all the cheesecake he has been eating. haha<br />
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Today a nurse of his from the ICU came to visit, and she was talking to him…"Britt you have proved everyone wrong." He said, "I know…that's my goal." We all started laughing. But at the same time i was so proud of him. He is so determined, when it would be so easy to give up. I admire him for that, and for having high expectations for himself when the odds were not in his favor. And I know that a lot of that has to do with your sincere and constant prayers and thoughts. So thank you.<br />
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He also said something else really funny, we were talking about how it's about time for him to go home..and he says, "I'm going to run outta here so fast. I don't care what anybody says…I'm just gonna run." He had us all laughing pretty hard.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14706138648602784868noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20361926193901316.post-72748577269803002952015-03-19T10:40:00.000-07:002015-03-19T10:41:10.157-07:00Sweet Treat<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I have been so impressed the last couple of days with my sweet little brother.<br />
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The progress he is making is so noticeable. And so humbling. I can't help but watch him and the things he does each day and not be so thankful for how far he has come.<br />
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Yesterday I was driving around in his truck…and lots of memories came flooding back. When his accident first happened, i remember sitting in the drivers seat of his truck, turning on our favorite song, singing it and just crying, my heart felt broken and my world felt upside down. I was trying anything at all to feel close to my brother or feel his presence. I just remember sitting in there that day and praying that someday we would be sitting in there together again riding around and listening to our favorite country songs again. So while i was driving around yesterday…one of our favorite songs when we were kids came on…I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude and happiness. It took me back to that day i sat in his truck. Not knowing what the future held for him, or for our family. And now I can drive his truck around with a smile singing along to our favorite songs, with no tears, because i know for a fact that my brother has a very bright future, and that we will indeed be riding alongside each other singing again. It sure has been a roller coaster since that point, and the ride is no where close to over…but wow, what incredible blessing and miracles my brother and family has received since then.<br />
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I feel like the last couple of days Britton has really just shot up, in terms of physical strength and mobility. It is amazing. He has so much more balance and coordination that ever before. He can sit up completely by himself. He can move himself from his bed to his wheelchair with very little assistance. He can get from the ground onto a bench and back down. His standing up and walking is improving every day. He dressed himself completely by himself, shirt, shorts, and socks completely by himself today for the first time…it took about 30 minutes which is the fastest I've ever seen him do it! He is coming around. And i couldn't be more excited.<br />
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He has been eating 2 meals a day, and gets the rest through hiss feeding tube. To feed him one meal usually takes about 2 hours. It's a long process and we have to be really patient. All the foods are pureed or liquified so he can get them down, so not much substance, but still! It is a start! He is still having a tough time getting all the food from the front of his mouth to the back and swallowing, but he will figure it out soon i think!<br />
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Britt had an eye appointment yesterday because he has been having some issues. We had to pack up and drive him there, which was fun. He wanted to make a pit stop at Nielson's Frozen Custard before, so we gave the boy what he wanted and he got his long awaited strawberry custard. It was so much fun to take him out! It just felt normal, somewhere outside the hospital. Britton has a….(i forgot what it is called)...on his eye which is what is causing the irritation and blurriness. He has a really hard time seeing out of it, and his right eye is still basically closed, so you can imagine the difficulty he has seeing clearly. She said it should heal within about 3 months, and they gave us some medication and these goggles for him to wear. So we are praying that will be taken care of, and that soon his other eye will be able to open. The muscles and nerves in his eyelids aren't functioning and firing correctly, which is why he isn't able to open his eyes all the way. If that doesn't heal in the future, there is a surgery that can fix it.<br />
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Thank you for all your prayers and continuous love!:) We are so very thankful for such gracious and caring people in our lives. Keep beleiving in our boy!<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14706138648602784868noreply@blogger.com10