Keepin On

It's been a couple weeks! We are still alive though, don't worry.

Britt is doing awesome, he really is. I am so impressed with the boy, i can't even explain it. It is a lot harder to notice the progress and improvements nowadays, with the schedule and type of therapy that he gets now…but it is definitely still there. It has taken some time to adjust to this new routine, of being home and having to go over for therapy and speech and appointments and all that. And i don't think we are fully adjusted yet, we still have a lot to figure out and get better at. There have been lots of ups and downs the past couple of weeks. It's been, what…about 6 and 1/2 months now since the accident, and i keep thinking that it'll start to get easier at some point…but it just doesn't. Every day is hard. Every day we have to fight that broken heart feeling that tries to creep in, the fear, the frustration, the doubt. To watch my sweet brother go through nights where all he can do is sob tears of confusion and disappointment, in fear that he may never be able to do the things he once could. It is so hard to know what to say. It's hard to be strong for him all the time too, to always be optimistic and uplifting. Sometimes all i want to do is break down and cry right beside him. It's those moments that are the absolute hardest for me, and i think for the rest of my family as well. It is the worst thing in the world to watch your little brother go through that, to be so discouraged and afraid. I pray with everything in me that he will never give up and that he will continue to believe in himself as much as the rest of us do. And i know he will and does, I just think there are moments where he looses sight of things and needs to let those feelings he hides so well, be felt. Being patient is so hard. But i know it is what we have to do. I know that with time things will get better, that thankfully, time is on our side. I know that as long as we continue to put our faith in the Lord and his plan and power, that my brother will continue to heal. I know that we have to do our part as well though, that Britton has to work hard, and put in the time and effort to get better, if it is going to happen. I think that is one thing that has been hard for us lately. We aren't the therapist at the rehab unit. We are just his family, thankfully we got to learn from all those great therapists and know some basic things, but it is so hard to take time out of the day to really focus on doing exercises and certain workouts like they did at the hospital. It is a lot harder than we thought it would be. Busy busy busy, all day, my mom is a busy lady, making sure she is giving him all his medications, eye drops, water, food, at the right times and in the right amounts. She's amazing, i don't know how she does what she does. We have just been trying to keep britt busy, so he doesn't have time to sit around and think about things. As far as his speech goes, i haven't noticed much of a difference, he still has a long way to go, and part of the problem is the numbness in his mouth and the mechanics…they aren't working like they are supposed to. His eyesight is up and down, somedays better than others, but the past couple days we have had a lot of problems with his eyes. He can hardly see out of the one that is half open, and the one that doesn't open can see close up and is looking in a different direction. They think these are problems from the stroke. They are contemplating a few options to help the healing process of his eyes. One of those is to sew his eyelid shut so that it can't be scratched or upset in any way, but they aren't sure if they'll go through with it. They can't really tell us exactly what is going on with them, because they don't know. So we just have to pray that the nerves and everything will heal and eventually start to work and function properly so that he can see normally. It really does affect a lot, him not being able to see. It affects his physical mobility and his motor skills, his reading, and cognitive ability. It's just hard to do a lot when you can't see what it is you are doing. So prayers are much needed for that!! He still has his peg tube in his stomach because he isn't able to drink enough water though his mouth yet, but he is getting better at it everyday! His fine motor skills are coming along! He tied his shoes for the first time this week, it took him about 30 minutes for one show but he did it! He can now put on his seatbelt by himself too! that used to take him forever, to find the right part where it clicks.

We got to go to salt lake this weekend, and britt threw out the first pitch for the Utah softball team. he loved every second, and had so much fun! It made me so happy to see him so happy, and to see all of the people who love and support him up there. Im super thankful for my team and coaches and the amazing support they have been to him and my family through all of this. They are incredible. He also got a system put in his truck from Califonia Audio…such amazing guys. They will never in a million years know how much that meant to Britt. He gets the biggest smile on his face when they turn the bass all the way up bump in the cooker. It's selfless acts of service like that, that truly amaze me. I can't believe how good people are. We are so thankful for all of the generous things people do to put a smile on our sweet boy's face. Because there truly is nothing better. But boy, good hearts…really good hearts out there. We are so very grateful.

He is still as hilarious as ever. Actually i think he gets funnier every day. You ought to hear the thing that come out of his mouth. He has me laughing all day long. I love his personality and charisma. Im so thankful he has that, and that he is always putting a smile on other peoples faces with this spunk and quirkiness. Everyday i thank the heavens above for him. For all of the blessing and miracles that have taken place. To have him in my life, and improving everyday is more than i could ever ask for. There are hard days, really really hard days, and i wish with all my heart i could just wake up and this would have all been a dream, but we have been given so much…much more than we deserve, and for that i am eternally grateful. I know there are going to be tough days, and a lot of tears and heartbreak, but with that comes the other, days full of happiness and success. I still believe in my sweet brother, just as much as i did on day one…I know that with faith, prayer and hard work, he can get to where he wants to be. That the lord has performed many miracles thus far, and is capable of plenty more if we have the faith.

Thank you for your service, your prayers, and your never-ending love and support. Please please please, keep the prayers coming, he needs them everyday!! we love you:)