Keep Believing

Little Recap on the week.

Britt had a lot of doctor appointments and follow ups this past week. He got to hang out with his buddies a few times too! The high school recognized him at an assembly (i wasn't here) but my mom said it was awesome, and that Britt got up there and gave a speech like he was the class president. hahaha, i can imagine. He got a visit from some of the coaches from SUU, and we got to visit with them for the evening. The Utah Summer Games committee chose to give Britt the Spirit of the Games award, and light the torch at the opening ceremonies. He is so excited about it. He has been to a few of the baseball games this week too! Yesterday he went to the full 3 hour block of church, and did such a great job. He is reallymgetting the hang of feeding himself, super messy, but we will take it! Today he was sitting on the couch, crawled not he ground, grabbed the remote control, climbed back up, went to the dvr menu, scrolled till he found Dumb and dumber and fast forwarded it to all of his favorite parts, completely by himself. it was hilarious. Today he went to the eye doctor again, and was pretty frustrated after the appointment. I think not being able to see very clearly at all is really difficult for him. I can understand why. We are just praying and hoping that with time and patience his eyes and vision will heal and come back. Today i was sorting through videos and pictures, a lot from the beginning of this whole thing. And it was so crazy to me. I think my mind has just blocked out all those days in the beginning, trying to forget them. I forgot how bad it actually was, how scary. Watching those videos forced me to relieve and remember it all and i couldn't believe it. My heart was so overwhelmed with gratitude. It was a really strong feeling, and i felt so thankful for how far he had come, and for all the miracles that had taken place along the way. It is still so crazy to me that it even happened. Tonight was really hard for my brother, he went to the game, and i think it just hit him that he can't be out there on the field playing with his buds. He has been crying for a couple hours now since he's been home, and there is nothing we can say or do to make the hurt go away. it is the hardest thing in the world to watch him go through this, but we just hope for better days to come and continue to put our faith in the lord and his plan, and his capability to heal my brother with work and patience on our end. Thank you for all the love and support you continually show us and my sweet brother:) we couldn't do it without you!! Keep believing!

"If ya scared, go to church"

Today was a really really great day…britton kept on saying "if you're scared, go to church." which is from a rap we used to sing.

Okay, but first of all…I get home last night, walk into my mom and dad's room to grab something before I went up to bed, and Greyson is sleeping on the couch in their room, Ledger is on the bed with britt, and my mom and dad are in their bed. All of them. sleeping in the same room. This has been an on going thing. And then I'm the outcast, left to fend for myself and sleep upstairs alone….hmm. cool.

So today, it was great. We all got ready in my moms room cause that is what we do on sundays. I guess our family just has this weird thing with congregating together all in the same room. But anyway, it was so great to be rushing, and yelling at each other and chasing my brothers around the room to get them to comb their hair and put on their church clothes. It was a typical sunday morning. BUT WE WERENT EVEN LATE TO CHURCH. that….was not typical by any means. It was so good to be sitting together in church with each other again. its been a long time coming. I couldn't help but sit there and think back on those first couple of weeks, me and my mom and two younger brothers in sacrement trying to hold back our tears and the anxiety of not knowing what might be going on at the hospital…praying our phones didn't go off with my dads name on the screen. Those were some really tough days. I am so glad we are past that.

And then looking around at the incredible ward family we have. I couldn't help but tear up. Their prayers, and dinners, and service, and love, and constant support…has been so special, and has meant so much to us. You could tell everyone was so glad to see britt back. And ohhhhhhh he looked so handsome, all dressed up.

We sat at home, watched baseball, lounged around, ate chocolate chip cookies, did some workouts with therapist autumn and her assistant sommer, they are highly skilled and trained therapists…if you were wondering.

Then Britt's friend Seth came over to hang out with him for awhile, which he loved!! And his friends Kaleb and Brenton came and got him to take him on a ride. It was his first outing with friends, me and my mom walked in the house and looked at each other and were like…"aweeeeeee." It means so much, not only to him, but us. Because britt loves his friends so much, all he talks about is wanting to see them and hang out with them all day! He just wants to be normal and be with the bros like old times. So for them to do those little things, means the world and so much more.

Thank you for all the prayers! They are working, every minute of every day. Thank you for all the sweet comments, on the blog and everywhere else. They mean so much to me.

Today i am especially grateful for my Savior and loving Heavenly Father. They have given me more than i could have ever imagined or ever deserved. God's love for us is unimaginable and undefinable. The savior knows us each, as individuals, by name, he knows our weaknesses and our strengths, our sorrows and our joy. He is there to help us, the heal us and to guide us when we cannot do it alone. He is there for us in our darkest hours and greatest achievements. He loves us, and he lives.

Honey I'm Home

Well, it's been exactly a week since we got to bring our boy back home…and what a wonderful week it has been. I don't even know where to begin, so much has happened!

Being home is perfect. It just feels good, and right, and normal. It is a lot easier on all of us, not having to revolve our lives and schedules around the hospital and who needs to be there at certain times. It is so great to be wight he whole family, around the dinner table and on the couch at night watching sports center and movies like old times. I have seen my dad more in the past week than i have seen him in the last 6 months combined!!

We have had so many generous friends and strangers come and help us fix up things in our house that have needed fixing for a long time, and it has made it that much better for Britt to come home to. I still cannot get over all the support. It blows my mind, every second of every day…like how do you wrap your head around that? So many people, who love a single boy, and his family. People have good souls and good hearts. And I love that.

Britt has  bed down in my mom and dad's room, with a state of the art mattress on it. no joke. that thing is sent from the heavens or something. Where Britton is, we are all snuggling up next to him. It is a fight….like UFC status, every night for who gets to sleep with him. hahahahhaha. He is definitely loved, that is for sure.

hahahhahahahah. britt has to wear these goggles when he sleeps, i know...he looks like a fly but aren't they so cute?!

He has been to the eye doctor a couple times this week, and his ulcer in his left eye is gone!!! So awesome, right?! we are so excited about it!! Now we just need those nerves and muscles to correct themselves so he can see normally out of both eyes, eventually.

He started his out patient therapy! He goes over to the hospital and works with some really awesome therapists that we already love! He only has about 20 visits for the rest of the year, which is really unfortunate. So they see him once a week for occupational therapy and physical therapy, and once for speech therapy! It's not what we are used to with therapists working with him every day for 4-5 or so hours…this time around it is mostly on us, his family, to listen and learn what the therapists teach us so we can implement it at home and help him here the other 7 days out of the week. It is kind of stressful, because we don't want him to go backwards, so its important for us to make sure we get the most out of him here at home with our inner physical therapist hahaha;)

He has been really tired lately, takes a lot of naps and lays down for what seems like most of the day. We try to keep him busy and occupied so he doesn't get tired and has time to think about things. There have been a few instances this week where he wasn't really doing much and started thinking about everything that has happened and all that is different, which makes him really emotional. Those are the hard days. It is so difficult to know what to say or do…we just have to let him cry and know that we are here for him and we are going to get through it…together.

He likes to go on drives, roll down the windows and turn up the music…so we do that lots! He has been watching youtube a lot…he loves the "uptown funk" music video…he gets the biggest kick out of it, and watches it over and over and over again. Him and the other two boys have been watching this show called dude perfect where a bunch of boys do all these trick shots and cool stunts with all the different sports. They love it. Him and ledger love watching the walking dead together. They used to do it every night before his accident. Today he took about 5 steps towards me on his own, probably 4 times in a row. It was so great! I think he could be walking within a month if we really work on it!

The other morning, i was sleeping upstairs, and britton crawled in my room and woke me up by scaring me. it was so funny. typical britt.

He is getting better at feeding himself, a little bit more everyday, and he has really improved with drinking!! so hopefully that G-tube in his stomach can come out soon.

He had one request this week.

Mcdonalds. A big Mac, and a large fry.

So we did what the boy asked.

Even though we had to blend it up in the blender, it smelled the same to me, and it tasted the same to him hahaha. He was the happiest boy alive that day.

Welcome Home Little Brother

HES HOME!!!!

britton and his friend "charlie"

this is steve, brittons therapist…he has had a huge impact on brittons life. I can't say enough about him and how much he means to our family. 

Words can't express how happy we are, how thankful and how humbled. So many people worked so hard to make his coming home oh so special, and we can't thank you enough for doing that for him! The last couple of days have been nothing but perfect. We are home, with our britt, and all together as a family again.

Friday was such an emotional day. Bittersweet in every aspect of the word. One second i was crying because i was sad we were leaving such an incredible place and people, the next i was crying because i was so proud of Britt and so happy to have finally made it to this day, and the next minute i was crying because…well i didn't even know why!!

Earlier that day Britton walked for the first time on his own. He took about 10 steps. Even though i wasn't there, my dad filmed it on his phone, and it was easily one of the most incredible things I've seen so far. My dad had a smile a mile wide. still does. How crazy is that? On the last day…he walks? Such a tender mercy. It gave us that little bit of hope that we needed so badly leaving the hospital!

I was standing outside the door to the gym, just watching Britt as he worked so hard in his last hours of therapy. I've never seen him do so well, and be so proficient. I couldn't believe it…it was like all of his hard work was all coming together on the final day! How awesome. He was nearing the end of his therapy, and you could tell he was so tired from working so hard. He was doing a crawling exercise and trying to get up a bench…he kept on losing his balance and falling over, he took a few really hard falls. But he kept on getting back up and trying. He would fall again, and you could slowly see the frustration kicking in…he hit his hand really hard and banged his leg on the bench, the frustration got the best of him and he couldn't hold back his tears. He layer there on the floor hands covering his face and cried. My heart really went out to my little brother in that moment. I couldn't and still can't understand how he does it. How he falls time and time again and keeps on getting back up. To see him struggling and failing like that broke my heart, even though he had good reason…he had been going for hours and his body was fatigued. I walked in and sat down next to him as soon as i had gotten ride of my own tears and gained composure…we talked for a second and he wiped his own tears and got right back up and finished the exercise.

His nurse troy wrote a song on the guitar for him, and played it for britt. Just the two of them in the room. When he walked out i could tell it was a special moment for both of them. People were crying all day, red, puffy eyes…all of us, our family, the staff. When we got britts room all cleaned out and all our crap out of there, it looked so bare and empty. It was the strangest feeling seeing it like that. Everyone kept on saying they won't be able to put anyone in that room for a long time, and they'll have to cover there eyes when they walk past…because its britts room.

The staff put on a little celebration going away party for him and it was so great. It was decorated all cute with baseballs hanging from the ceilings, banners, and food and treats! Everyone came, all of his nurses and therapists. It was so special. We are so lucky to have been in such an amazing place with even more amazing people. They helped us get our britt back. And we will forever love them like our family, because they are. They'll never know how much they've done for us, and for my brother. Like my dad says…its not necessarily about the facility, or the equipment, or the knowledge, the ratings…it's about the people. And the way everyone at the acute rehab unit has loved my brother like their own, pushed him to his limits, believed in him…and that's what has gotten him to this point…those people. Who are so special to our hearts. We will miss seeing their smiling faces, the long days, and the late nights, the inside jokes, the quirks, the notes, and the sweet spirits. We can't wait to go back and visit everyday….okay  maybe not everyday, but every other AT LEAST!!;)

It was crazy leaving the hospital, knowing that we wouldn't be coming back in the morning and doing it all over again like the last 5 and 1/2 months. I still haven't really processed that.

As we drove home, it seemed like every business had "welcome home Britton" up on their marquee. It was so cool. SO COOL. The streets were lined with banners and signs, balloons and ribbons all over the trees. People honked as we were driving by, and as we turned onto old farm road, the street was lined with friends and family, cheering for our Britt. I was overcome with emotion as my little brother waved to them all, tears in his eyes and a  tremble in his voice. How did we get so lucky to have such an incredible community? Thank you to everyone who put work into making this so memorable and special.

The next day, saturday, there was a shin dig at the park for Britt, and so many people came from all over the town! He rode on a fire truck there, which was so much fun for him! and when we pulled up the big crowd clapped and cheered for him as he got off the truck, the cheerleaders made a tunnel for him to walk through to the stage. He told everyone thank you for coming and thank you for all the love and support. I am at a loss for words at the gratitude i feel for this community, and their love and support. Really it is impossible to describe. I truly believe there is no place like this in the world, where a town, friends, family, and strangers from a far can come together and rally around a boy and his family the way it has been done for us. I feel so privilege to be apart of this place i call home, and all the people who are a part of it. I feel that service is hands down the most christ like attribute, and i have witnessed that in so many people these past months…it has changed me, as a person, sister, daughter, and friend. It has saved my family and my brother. And my testimony has been strengthened because of it, because of others who serve so willingly for those who need it. I know how big of an impact a simple act of selfless service can have on someone, because i have experienced that first hand, too many times to count now.

I can't say enough about Britt's friends, his buddies his pals, and his favorite blonde haired girls. They have been his angels, for sure. They have been our angels. They haven't given up on him, not for a single second. Their commitment has been nonstop, in and out of the hospital every single day since his accident. Even when he is sleeping, or in therapy, or eating, or busy with whatever, they come, and they sit there…just to be there for him. They've kept his spirits high when they were fading, they have treated him the exact same although things are much different. They don't make him feel different, they love him just the same. The thing britton was most excited about was coming home to see his friends, and hang out. He probably said it a thousand times. He loves you guys. You mean the world to him. thank you for being there for him through the thick and the thin. I know that he is going to need you now…more than ever as he heads into this next stage.

This morning we had CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!! It was perfect. Together as a family. Britt got a lot of presents. which he totally deserves. We listened to christmas music and had a big giant breakfast like we usually do. I couldn't help but reflect back on christmas day, 4 months ago….we were all sitting in the living room when we had finished opening our presents and we all started crying and just held each other. It was a really hard day as a family, to be missing our 6th man. At that point, britt had still been in his coma…and things were still very up in the air. Now, to be here today, same spot in our living room, opening presents, all together, with our 6th man…is an indescribable feeling. So thankful.

SHOUT OUT TO THE SANTA CLARA 1ST WARD FOR BEING THE REAL MVP'S. man. we are so lucky to be a part of such an incredible ward, full of members who are so giving and generous and loving. I don't know if you heard but they have been bringing us meals for the bast 160 some odd days now….CAN I GET AN AMEN? The relief society has a special spot in my heart for sure. They are such angels. that is a lot of days, and a lot of meals. It saved my mom a lot of stress and work. And helped us kids not to starve to death;) just kidding, but kind of not really kidding hahaha. My mom has now restocked the pantry and the fridge after it has been completely barren for 6 months….hallelujah. merry christmas to me. Seriously though. I don't know if I've ever been so happy. I open the fridge up and there is actual food in there….food that isn't expired. I had to open it up a few times to make sure i wasn't seeing things or dreaming.

I will definitely still be keeping up the blog now that he is home! It might not be every day, but ill keep everyone up to date on all the good stuff:) Thank you for being such great followers and caring enough about him to read each day. It means the world.

Here is a video of Britt's last day at the hospital and his home coming!

The Last Days

I'm officially the worst blogger ever....

Soooooo! ONE MORE DAY TILL BRITT COMES HOME!!!!! He is basically counting down the seconds. It's definitely a bitter sweet thought though. Leaving such great nurses and friends that him and our family have grown to love the past 5 months!! He did some obstacle courses today, and a lot of walking yesterday. We have been playing games lately like uno and connect four...his motor skills have gotten SOOOO much better. He can pick up cards like it ain't no thang. He even beat his therapist 2/3 times in connect four!!haha he went to the eye doctor again and it seems that his vision has slightly improved and the ulcer on his left eye is healing!! Thank goodness. He has been working extra hard with speech lately too! Him and his speech therapist are real good buddies, britt loves him and talks about how much he is going to miss him all the time. He's gonna miss a lot of his friends from acute rehab! They're probably so excited to get rid of us though;)hahahaha we might need a moving truck for all our crap.

Keep praying for our britt!! For his eyes, and his walking, his eating and his motor skills. And for that little heart of his, that he can believe in himself as much as the rest of us do.

here is a hilarious video of him with my glasses on saying "ohhh look at me *peace signs* I'm Autumn now." my mom sent it to me haha typical britton.

"Easters"

remember how my aunt sheila and her friend dressed up as snowmen on christmas and came to visit britt….well…they've done it again!

Happy Easter!!!

And I'm sorry for being M.I.A for a week. It was a busy one!

So little recap on the past week for ya…

Britt has graduated from eating pureed meals, to finely chopped…pretty dang sweet, am i right?! haha

He came home almost every day this week for a few hours to take a shower and do therapy. He has gotten so so so much better at crawling up and down the stairs, getting in and out of his bed, and finding his way around the house! He can't wait to come home for good next weekend!

I got to spend the night at the hospital with him from wednesday to friday! And let me tell ya, it was a party. But so much respect to my dad for sleeping on a cot for 150+ nights, because…..NOT COMFORTABLE…not at all. You're the man dad. But we snuggled, and watched movies together in his bed, and it was a fun time!! To wake me up in the middle of the night if he had to use the restroom, he would kick his legs up and down, and it didn't take long to get my attention, hahahah. so funny. Also when britt has been sleeping for while it is the most hilarious thing when he wakes up, you know how we are all groggy and kind of out of it, well multiply that by 500 plus being hit by a trailer and getting thrown around in a tornado, and that is what britton is like. Not exaggerating. okay maybe a little, but you get the idea. You cannot understand a thing he is trying to say, and his hair is out of control and he has these goggles on that look like fly eyes so he has zero awareness of where he is or his surroundings. Too dang funny.

It was a great week for him, although he had his moments of discouragement. There were a few times when we were driving home in his truck and he just broke down…in fear that he wouldn't be able to drive his own truck again, he told me he couldn't remember how to drive and he didn't know any of the rules anymore, and they wouldn't let him have a license. There were times when i would catch him staring at old pictures in his room at the hospital and he would strait to cry and shake his head, i could tell he was having a hard time dealing wight he fact that he is a little bit different than the boy he sees in the pictures, at least physically. But we talked, and came to the conclusion that there is no reason he can't get back to that down the road. There were times where he would say hi to someone or try to talk to them and get their attention, but they couldn't understand him or hear him and it was really disappointing to him…he feels bad when people don't respond when he is trying to be friendly, but i don't think its because they don't reply…i think it's because they can't really hear him and understand him. He doesn't have the clearest vocabulary and his voice can't go very loud, and that is hard for him to handle sometimes. He gets discouraged with his eating, he has a hard time getting it all down, and most of the time, more food comes back out of his mouth than he swallows…so that is hard for him too.

I think he is just starting to understand more, realize more. So he has his moments, which…given his situation, is completely normal and understandable. But other than those few minutes of tears every day…the rest is a smiling happy and fun loving boy, determined to work hard and get better!

So here is a funny experience from this week. It's kind of….maybe not the best to share, but WHAT THE HAY WE HAVE CROSSED THAT BRIDGE ALREADY HAVENT WE?

So i was helping him go to the bathroom one day, just me, britton and the toilet. And he was done and needed someone to help him, and he looked and me and handed me the wipes and i said…uhhhhhh? Then he says…"Aut, I'll tell you what…this is bonding at the highest level…"

I laughed so hard, for probably an hour. Im still laughing actually. So i made him promise when I'm an old granny in the old folks home he has to return the favor;)

So yesterday was really great! Me and my mom took britt on our usual walk around the temple grounds, but then we decided to check our the visitors center cause it had been awhile since we'd been there. We walked in and looked at the statue of christ for awhile, chatted with the missionaries, and then we went in the theater and watched the "Because He Lives" video on the big screen. It was just us three in there. and the movie started to play, and my mom read the words to britt as they came on the screen. The spirit was incredibly strong…maybe the strongest I've ever felt it. We were all bawling, sitting there arms around each other. It wasn't just one of those good feelings, kind of fuzzy and warm…it was very profound, deep, real and powerful, almost overcoming feeling…that not only touched my heart and mind, but everything in me. It was just incredible. And the best feeling. And i feel like every word, every image, every clip...hit home. Everything we have experienced the past 6 months…related perfect to the words on the screen. Because He Lives…I have my miracle of a brother sitting next to me. Because He Lives, I understand and know true happiness. Because He Lives, death hath no sting, and the grave hath no victory over us, and Satan hath no lasting power. Because He Lives, i have an eternal family. And Because He Lives, my imperfections and inequities can be strengthened and forgiven through his sacrifice and everlasting love and grace.

Here is the video, I know most of you have already seen it, but if not…have a look!