"I'm Flying"

Today was fun! 

During therapy Britton got to try something new. He got hooked up to this strap on the ceiling that slides, and it holds him up so he can try and stand/walk by himself. Mostly he just pretended to fly like, Peter Pan. He kept saying, "Im flying, Im flying" It was hilarious. 

Some Funny things:

Every time my mom leaves the room, without fail….as soon as the door closes, Britt yells "PARTY!" and starts dancing around, so we have this little dance and song we sing when she leaves. It is so stink in funny.

My mom was doing something weird today, and Britton puts his hand on his head and says "oh my heck, my mom is wayyyy way crazy."

The nurses give Britton this little grey things, that he squeezes if he needs anything, it's a call light. Every single time they give it to him, he uses it as a microphone, and sings, then says "thank you, thank you very much." like elvis. Where did this kid come from?

As I type, this very second…my mom is googling "how to get big hard boogers out" HAHAHAHA! 

Like what??? She says, this is what I'm googling…I google everything. And then Britton said, "Oh my heck mom…you pick them."

Britt has all this blood/who knows what else clogged up in his hassle from when the accident and everything happen and the docs/nurses are trying to figure out the most effective way to clear it all out, so that is the background information as to why my mom is googling that. 

But seriously. She googles everything. 

Last night I got to spend most of the night with Britt, we had a "late night" like back int he 6th grade when our parents wouldn't let us have sleepovers but we could stay with our friends till like 11 o clock if we were really lucky. hahah. I was just minding my own business doing homework, and stuff…and Britt asked me, "why am i here?" and we've explained it to him a lot, but i didn't feel like getting him all worked up so I just said, we will talk about it later. Then he said, "no, why am I alive?"…and i couldn't just brush that one off, so i crawled into bed with him, and said…you're alive because you are supposed to be, because you have a strong heart, mind and spirit. And because heavenly Father blessed you and our family, incredibly, and kept you here. Then he asked me, if i was happy. And I said of course, Im the happiest girl in the world because I got you by my side. He started crying, and said, "I don't know if I'm happy." That broke my heart. I talked to him, explaining that I understood, that i couldn't imagine what he probably feels each day. Knowing that his body is so much different than before. But i told him that he has so many reasons to be happy, that theres always something to smile about, no matter how hard it is. We talked for awhile and I told him about all the people who believe in him and are cheering for him, he couldn't believe that so many care! I asked him if he believed in him self, and he said kind of, still really emotional. So i gave him a little pep talk, and we are all good now. He believes just as much as anyone else! 

It was really late, so i told him to go to bed, but first we said a prayer, he wanted to say it…

Never in my life have i heart something so simple, yet so powerful. 

Everything he said, was as clear as day. I couldn't help but have tears running down my cheeks.

I can't remember everything he said…but from what i do.

He said, Heavenly Father, I love you, thank you for letting me stay. Thank you for the blessings. Thank you for my family. And then some stuff i couldn't understand, and Thank you for everyone who believes in me and loves me. I say these things in the name of jesus christ, amen. 

Between each phrase, he did everything in his power to hold back the tears. I could tell he was trying so hard not to cry. His little arms folded, and his eyes closed. His nurse walked in mid prayer, shut the door, closed her eyes and bowed her head. When he was done we looked up at each other and there were tears in both of our eyes. The spirit was strong, and my heart was touched by my little brothers simple words. 

My Sunshine

(we almost fell to our faces after this picture because britt lost his balance and i couldn't hold him up ha)

Today Britton told me i was mermaid man, and he was barnacle boy…yet another spongebob reference. That made me laugh pretty hard. Cause A) it took me about 30 minutes to decipher. and B) it was funny.

It was such a good day for him. He got up extra early with my dad to take a shower and get going on therapy. They did a bunch of stuff, he worked so hard, as usual. You wouldn't believe his attitude. No matter how difficult something is for him, or how tired he might be, he always puts forth his best effort and wants to do one more. Seriously, such role model to me. He got in a lot of walking with his therapists, they rigged up this funny looking thing together that straps one of them to britton and the other slides backwards on a chair, making sure he is doing everything right, from stepping to where his hips are and weight shift…they are so particular and get the most out of him! We love it. They are so dedicated to him and try to think of new things and ideas to help him get better each day. We are seriously so lucky to be here, surrounded by great staff who love and want the best for my brother.

We got a visit from one of our ICU nurses today! It is so fun to see them and catch up with them. Britton loved meeting him too, even though he didn't remember him, he understood what he had done for him while he was there. We can't wait to take britt back there so he can meet everyone and tell them thank you.

Today he got to eat some vanilla ice cream and he loved it. He kept trying to sneak more when the speech therapist was done. Brittons issue right now with eating, is that he has a hard time closing his mouth, and his lips especially, so the food and water usually comes right back out. He can swallow well, but can't get a lot of it down, so it just stays in his mouth. He says that the roof of his mouth, parts of his tongue and lips are numb, so that is probably part of the problem. We are praying that he will get he hang of it and get feeling back in those areas so he can eat and drink sometime soon down the road. They played a game where britton had to come up with something and the therapist had to guess it by asking for clues.

Britton started off by saying, "I have one of these."
The therapist said, is it here with you at the hospital? yes.
Does it move? Kind of.
Is it out here with you right now? yes.
does it have wheels and a motor? no.
Is it a part of your body? yes.
Is it your eyes? no
mouth? no.
Is it inside your body? yes.
Is it your brain? YES

we laughed pretty hard. Mostly cause he said, I have one of these. and it was ironic that he thought of his brain to use for the game. hahahha. funny kid.

I was watching britton play with my phone today, and on the iPad…he has a very hard time with his fine motor skills, using his hands, pointing to a certain thing, or drawing something. It is really really hard for him. We are hoping that as we continue to work on those and with time, he will regain them.

We got to go outside for a little bit today! It was such nice weather we had to. Britton rolled up his pants and shirt sleeves and got a nice little sun tan. He is lacking vitamin D big time, so we are going to try and get him out more. On our way outside i think about every person that passed us stopped and knew Britton by name and said they were following his story. It was so crazy. Every time we would leave, he would say "who was that?" cause he didn't know, and we would just say someone who loves you and is rooting for you! and he would say "me? really?" He doesn't have a clue of how cool he is.

Thank you for your continued prayers and love. For all the comments and kind messages, it means so so much. I can't even begin to tell you. When Britt was in the ICU, we would pray for very specific things for him, and i think it would be a good idea to start doing that again. We are really hoping that he can continue to gain physical strength and stability. That his other eye will open soon, that his speech will continue to develop and he will be able to chew and swallow food more efficiently. Thank you for everything you do for my brother and family. We love you!

I took this picture a few days ago, and i love that the first thing i see everyday i walk into the hospital and the last thing i see when i leave is this beautiful place. It keeps my mind and my heart in the right place. 

If you view this blog from a cell phone or mobile device, you'll notice the template is different. Im working with The Blogging Network to create a new and more efficient layout for mobile devices, so just bare with me as we get that figured out:)

Here is a video of some recent stuff Britt has done!

Krusty Krab Pizza

The highlight of my day, was when i was sitting on the chair and started singing the Krusty Krab Pizza song, from Spongebob…and Britton pipes in and starts singing it with me. I don't know if i've ever laughed so hard. I couldn't believe he remembered it, it was hilarious.

if you don't know what I'm talking about, well here it is! (he hit every note too)

Wow. Britt worked so hard today. Harder than i have ever seen him. The therapists are really cracking down and pushing him extra hard these next 3 weeks, because our time we have left in the nuero rehab unit is winding down. So they are cracking the whip, and so far he is responding very well! He walked all around the unit today with their help…and went through a few obstacle course type things,s rolling around, crawling on his hands and knees, and trying to get from the ground to a chair. He struggled, and it was very hard for him, but he did it, with little help! I was so proud of him! His speech is getting a little bit better everyday! It's so nice being able to communicate with him again, although sometimes he does get frustrated when we can't understand him.

Lately he has been asking lots of questions about where he is, and why he is there. It must be really confusing to him or something. He gets really emotional whenever we talk about anything like that, or the accident, so we try not to as much as possible. But it's hard cause he needs to understand and be aware of what happened and what is going on exactly. It's kind of a rock and a hard place. We don't want him to get discouraged or frustrated with him knowing his circumstances, but we also don't want him to be in the dark about it.

He still can only get little bits of applesauce, pudding and yogurt from the speech therapist. He is still learning how to swallow and everything again. Same with little bits of water through a straw and ice chips. Hopefully with time, he will be abler o eat a big old juicy hamburger or a 5 layer burrito from taco bell.

Today when i told him I had to go, he said alright…GO FIGHT WIN. and put his arm up like a cheerleader. And then he told my mom and I that we were his 2 favorite girls in the world. Which i sure as heck better be after i stuck my own finger up his nose to dig the huge nasty 4 month old crusty boogers out of it. Yeah…i did that…too much information? probably.

Play Make-uhh

I love when Britt wears this shirt, BECAUSE THE BOY MAKES PLAYS NOT EXCUSES PLAYA!haha As I type this, we are having a shipp family sing along around one of the tables in the cafeteria to all britt's favorite songs, family bonding at it's best. But really, this is where it's at. Little moments like these, all together. Britt is playing lead singer, we are all backups. (his singing voice is no better than it was before if you are wondering) Im so thankful we have that, and each other. Im thankful to be on this team of mine, I'm thankful for my dad and the glue and strength he is, I'm thankful for my mom and the sweet loving spirit she has, for how light hearted and funny Ledger and Greyson are, and I'm thankful for Britton, and the angel he is. But really, this is all i need in life to be happy:)

Sorry I've been slacking the last couple of days, they've been so busy! but all is well in zion, don't worry. Britt is doing well! Yesterday he had some batting practice with my dad in the gym, and he did the hand bike and pedal bike for the first time! My dad walked him and did some stairs with him. Today, he did the bikes again and some arm curls. GOTTA GET THOSE BICEPS! And….wait for it, wait for it…GAME NIGHT BABY! Britton beat Greyson and Leddy in connect four twice. Still older, still wiser, still in charge, right britt? One of Britt's best friends had a birthday today, so they celebrated that together! 

Each day i can't help but think about how incredibly blessed we've been. Im so thankful for a loving, kind, and gracious heavenly Father, and for my savior Jesus Christ who loved us enough to atone for us. Im thankful for the gospel of jesus christ of latter day saints in my life. Im thankful for my testimony and for the things i know, and have felt. Im thankful for the happiness, light, and clarity it brings to my life. 

Im thankful for all of you, who have loved my family and brother unconditionally. Im thankful for your selfless service, it is truly christ like. You have all helped me to understand the type of person i want to be from here on out. I want to be a charitable, giving, and loving person, always serving those who need it. Friend, family or stranger. You have shown me the true light of christ through your selflessness and compassion. Thank you for that. Angels, all of you. ANGELS FROM ABOVE. 

Britt. You are incredible. How you smile and laugh, always full of happiness and joy, when you are experiencing the most difficult thing i feel a person can endure…amazes me. Your drive, your dedication, you desire to get better and push through. How you give it your all every day, never giving up. You are the definition of a fighter. Im thankful i get to know you, and love you, and be by your side through this all. Keep killin it lil bro!

Here is a little video my dad put together of Britt yesterday and all the things he did!

Moving Along

The last couple of days went really well! Britt has been improving in a lot of areas: walking, sitting up, standing, speech, eating.

Today I helped get him dressed but i hardly had to do anything. Usually my dad does that with him early in the morning, but today I was there for it so I got to watch him and I was amazed. So humbled. It was really difficult for him, and took a really long time, probably 30-45 minutes to put on a shirt and shorts, but he did it. Watching him try to use his hands and fingers the right way, and seeing him pull his own legs and arms up was so cool.

He is still having a hard time with the little sips of water and spoonfuls of pudding he is given by the speech therapist. He told us that he can't feel his tongue and lips, so i would imagine it is hard to know where the food is. Kinda like when you go to the dentist to get a cavity felled and you can't drink water cause it goes right back out your mouth. That's kinda what happens. We are hoping he gets feeling back with time.

Yesterday we had another really in depth talk with him about everything that happened, and why he is where he is. I think he is still confused and might forget things about it that we tell him, cause he always asks about it. It was pretty emotional, for him and for me and my mom, but it has to be talked about and it's okay to talk about. He has to know and understand whats going on…theres no point in sugar coating it.

Some of his neuro docs front he ICU came in yesterday and I almost started crying when I saw them. It was so good to see them after all this time, and although britt didn't know who they were he understood what they had done for him, saving his life and all. They were so impressed with him and how far he has come since we left there. It was so gratifying. I will always love those doctors more than they could ever understand, they saved my brothers life and they saved our lives in more way than one. Not a day goes by that I don't think about them, how incredible they are at what they do, how amazing medicine is, and how genuinely kind they were to my family and brother. They are something special that is for sure. I feel that way with everyone who has come into my brothers path. Every single doctor, nurse, physical therapist, CNA, receptionist, friend and stranger…they have all been so unreal. And left huge impacts on my brothers life and our whole families. I honestly can say we love them like family, and consider them to be. Not just nurses, therapist and doctors, but true friends and family. I feel extremely blessed. There are angels all around us, and have been since the beginning.

Cassidy, Britt's date the day of the accident, recently had surgery to take care of some back and foot issues she suffered from the wreck. It all went really well and she is now healing and recovering from that. Keep her in your prayers please:)

Thank you all for the sweet comments and kind words, I see them all and they each have so much significance and meaning to my family and I. Lots of times they are answers to prayers and reasons to keep having faith. So thank you for always lifting my spirits and for caring so much about my brother and family. We love you with everything:) And thank you for the continued fundraisers, and events that are being put together for Britt…it means so much to our family. The continued, never ending support and love is simply amazing.

This is a picture cassidy took not long before the accident. It's really hard to look at them, but I'm so thankful that she took them. Because I know that my brother was having a good time, that he was happy and he was healthy…and he's slowly getting back to that, i know it! Just never take the ones you love for granite. Things can change in a split second. That's how life is. Tell the people you care about you love them, every minute of everyday, because you never know what each day might bring.

Class Clown

Today was yet another good day for Britt. He walked up and down the hallway with the help of the therapists, who have I mentioned, ARE THE REAL MVP'S. Seriously, they are unreal and do so much for my brother. He also got to eat a spoonful of applesauce and vanilla pudding today for the first time with the speech therapist! It was hilarious. He mostly spit the applesauce back up, but he started rubbing his belly and saying "mmhmmmm, ohhhh yeahhh". He is still a chatterbox. He is starting to say more, and it's really hard for us to understand what he is trying to say, so he has been getting a little bit frustrated, as have we. It's hard when he is trying to tell us something and we don't understand. For real, I feel like me and my mom are trying to solve the da vinci code or something hahaha, trying to figure out what he is saying every time. He has been saying and doing the most hilarious things. And the funniest part about it is, you can barely understand him when he talks, so when you are able to make sense of the finn things, they are even funnier than they would usually be.

So today my mom was talking to the nurse about drinking soda, and my mom was like, "yeah, I'm going to start slowing down on the pop." and britton looks at her and says, clear as day…"yeah right"

I asked my mom what i should go get for lunch today and I said something about sandwiches, and britton raises his hand up and starts bouncing around…"I want one"

He asks everyone "how are you?" at least 10 times.

Everytime someone talks about how his trach is gone…he sings, "nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah, hey hey hey, goodbyeeeeeee."

Last night his friend was in talking to him and he was talking about how they are in the 3rd quarter of school…and Britt puts his hand on his head and says, "ugh, I've been in here wayyyy too long."

Yesterday I had 2 friends with me, and he says "who is that girl?" it took us a while to figure out what he was saying but we finally got it, and we said what girl? and he points to my friend, "that girl right there!" and we all started laughing.

Anytime someone tall walks by, "wow he's tall."

He has this little thing he hold in his hand that he can squeeze and it calls a nurse, and he has been using it as a microphone.

My brother has always been funny…but man, i don't know what has gotten into him.

Britt got voted most preferred sophomore at he high school, so they came and interviewed him today and my mom said it was pretty funny.

I don't know why, but the last few days have been kind of hard for me, personally. I have been having all these flashbacks of Britt, and they just pop into my head randomly. Him running down the stairs to give me a hug every time i head back to school. Or me going to pick him up in the summer from football and him stinking up my car. Taking a million pictures of him every time I find him sleeping. Yelling at him to come down for dinner, and sitting at the counter picking on ledger and greyson and eating off their plates. Him hiding the remote control from me so i couldn't change the show he was watching. I just picture his voice, and him walking around without a shirt on. It's made me more emotional than i have been in a long time. It's just hard to see him everyday, it scares me that he won't be the same. I guess I can see things in his personality right now that aren't the same as he was before. And it scares me. It probably sounds selfish, and I don't mean to sound that way at all. It's just hard. And terrifying. I will be the happiest, luckiest most grateful person in the world, no matter the outcome of this all. No matter where he ends up as far as recovery. I miss that boy, a lot. and it's hard not knowing if he will ever be the same. I guess it's just crazy and a little bit confusing to me how he could be the normal, healthy, annoying brother he was before Nov 1, and then everything was different. Sometimes I still wonder if this is just all a big bad dream, and that someday I'll wake up. It's not though, it's reality. And it sucks, it really does, but you just deal with it right? As best as you can! And I know that the big man upstairs has got a plan, a really good one, and that he doesn't give us trials we can't endure…but that doesn't take away the occasional breakdowns, or worry, or fear that I guess I'm feeling right now. I just have to keep on believing, praying and having faith in good things to come for my Britt, we all do.

Today we were talking, me and Britt. And we got talking about how he'd been asleep for 3 whole months. I told him how hard it had been, to just sit with him each day, hoping and praying that someday he'd wake up. He started crying and pointed to his head, "I know autty, I know." I don't really know what that meant. I asked him if he remembered what he was doing and where he was when he was asleep. He said, yes, and cried harder. So now we are both crying. I asked him a few more questions which he couldn't really answer. He was trying to tell me something i couldn't understand, so I said, you can tell me about it later okay? It's the hardest thing in the world to see him cry so hard like that…I just wish that i could trade him spots somehow.

This is a roller coaster, I'll tell ya what. But it's okay! There are plenty of ups to go along with the downs. Thank you for your prayers and love:)

The Baseball Fam

There were a lot of ball players who wanted to see Britt this weekend, so we had a little get together across the street at the temple, and Britt loved every second of it! It was so fun to see him so excited and happy. Thank you to those of you who were there and showed him so much love. He is one lucky boy to be surrounded by such an amazing family of coaches and players and fans!

Today was a big day because Britt took the sacrament for the first time since his accident, AND…we saw a little crack in his right eye! YAHOOOO!!

Here's a video from today! (and a million pictures because we all know I'm the picture lady)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDz7mOqg3yA&feature=youtu.be

Love Day

I had the cutest valentine west of the Mississippi! Britt had another good day. Just as happy and full of energy as ever! It's so fun to hear him talking and trying to communicate with us more that way. He has been saying and doing the funniest things lately.

I didn't get here till this afternoon but I know that he went on a walk with my dad cause it WS such s nice day! He met up with a baseball team who gave him some neat things! There's a baseball tournament in st. george this weekend so tons of teams are down here, and they've brought britt hats and shirts and all sorts of things. I see banners on all the dugouts, 7's on hundreds of helmets...it's imcredible. The baseball community has been so so good to my brother through all of this. Whether they played with britt somewhere along the line or if they were on the rival team when they were 8 years old. They've loved him, supported him, come together for him, and believed in him through it all. It's so touching, and we are so thankful for so many awesome coaches, teams and players that britt has had the price ledge to know, play with and against. We are so so grateful to them and everything they've done for our number 7. My littlest brother, ledger, and his team have all had 7's on their faces for eyeblack this weekend. I love that ledger plays exactly like britt. His mannerisms his tendencies on the field...britt has always been an extremely good role model for my younger brothers and ledger has always wanted to be just like him. However britt stood in the batters box, so did ledger. If britt taped his wrists and bat, ledger did too. If britt wore a chain and eyeblack, you bet ledger had it on. I love watching him play, it reminds me of watching britt when he was little.

Britt got a lot of visits from cute girls today. Two of his best friends ally and aspen brought him a valentine present and he was so excited about it. He's a lucky boy. That's all I got to say.

Hasta La Vista Trach

Well. Britt no longer has an unusual plastic object coming out of his throat.

IT'S GONE-ZO.

This is a big deal!

They just stuck a bandage over it, and the hole is suppose to close up in the next few days.

Britt worked so hard today in therapy, I was so impressed and so proud of him.

We had the best time today. He was a chatter box. Doing and saying the funniest things. He had us rolling around laughing…we got a jokester on our hands alright.

Today Britt mastered the Nae Nae. Proud sister moment, it took him all week, but he's got it down now!

here is a little video of the week!

I'm so proud of him, it was one of the roughest…but it turned out to be one of the best. I see more and more of my little brother coming back with each day and it makes my heart the happiest.

Hello Autty

"Hello Autty."

Heart….melted….I mean like, completely done for. Gone. Goodbye. See ya.

I can't even begin to explain to you in words, how happy that made me. I don't understand it, and I can't comprehend it…the amount of love I feel for this boy, and the love he feels for everyone around him.

It doesn't matter what's going on outside that hospital room because as soon as you walk in it, and see him…everything is okay. Things make sense, and it's all put back into perspective. Happiness, that's what it is. Real happiness. I mean how can that smile of his not make you happy, how can him trying to say I love you, hello and thank you not just make you want to cry happy tears. It is the sweetest thing. And the most humbling thing in the world, because if a boy who has gone through the absolute worst of the worst can be happy and full of light regardless of his situation…can't we all? Honestly it feels like I'm hanging out with a little piece of heaven every day.

Looking back on the last couple of days, which weren't easy for Britt…and seeing how he handled it amazes me. Yeah he was in a lot of pain, feeling a lot discomfort, and probably really frustrated and upset. But he was trying so hard to be tough and keep that light hearted personality of his. It was so good to see him crack some smiles today and feel a little bit better. He is doing much better after yesterday's surgery!

My family and I are so thankful for all the support and love, I know I have said it a million trillion times but I aint neva gonna stop, cause we wouldn't be here, and neither would my brother, without you..without everything all of you have done for him and for us. Everyday we ask ourselves. Why us? We don't deserve all of this. The endless phone calls and text messages, the selfless service and kind acts, the donations, the fundraisers, the sweet notes from strangers, all of the prayers, all of the hope, whether you know him or not, all of the dinners, the flowers, all of it. And maybe we don't…but that brother of mine does. He does. He deserves it. Every last bit of it. So thank you. Thank you for being there for not only Britt, but my mom, my dad, Greyson, Ledger and myself. We draw strength and comfort through you, you build us up, and you help us along. We are like one big giant family, and it's gonna take the whole dang family to get through this. You've helped us this far. Keep beleiving for our Britt.