Class Clown

Today was yet another good day for Britt. He walked up and down the hallway with the help of the therapists, who have I mentioned, ARE THE REAL MVP'S. Seriously, they are unreal and do so much for my brother. He also got to eat a spoonful of applesauce and vanilla pudding today for the first time with the speech therapist! It was hilarious. He mostly spit the applesauce back up, but he started rubbing his belly and saying "mmhmmmm, ohhhh yeahhh". He is still a chatterbox. He is starting to say more, and it's really hard for us to understand what he is trying to say, so he has been getting a little bit frustrated, as have we. It's hard when he is trying to tell us something and we don't understand. For real, I feel like me and my mom are trying to solve the da vinci code or something hahaha, trying to figure out what he is saying every time. He has been saying and doing the most hilarious things. And the funniest part about it is, you can barely understand him when he talks, so when you are able to make sense of the finn things, they are even funnier than they would usually be.

So today my mom was talking to the nurse about drinking soda, and my mom was like, "yeah, I'm going to start slowing down on the pop." and britton looks at her and says, clear as day…"yeah right"

I asked my mom what i should go get for lunch today and I said something about sandwiches, and britton raises his hand up and starts bouncing around…"I want one"

He asks everyone "how are you?" at least 10 times.

Everytime someone talks about how his trach is gone…he sings, "nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah, hey hey hey, goodbyeeeeeee."

Last night his friend was in talking to him and he was talking about how they are in the 3rd quarter of school…and Britt puts his hand on his head and says, "ugh, I've been in here wayyyy too long."

Yesterday I had 2 friends with me, and he says "who is that girl?" it took us a while to figure out what he was saying but we finally got it, and we said what girl? and he points to my friend, "that girl right there!" and we all started laughing.

Anytime someone tall walks by, "wow he's tall."

He has this little thing he hold in his hand that he can squeeze and it calls a nurse, and he has been using it as a microphone.

My brother has always been funny…but man, i don't know what has gotten into him.

Britt got voted most preferred sophomore at he high school, so they came and interviewed him today and my mom said it was pretty funny.

I don't know why, but the last few days have been kind of hard for me, personally. I have been having all these flashbacks of Britt, and they just pop into my head randomly. Him running down the stairs to give me a hug every time i head back to school. Or me going to pick him up in the summer from football and him stinking up my car. Taking a million pictures of him every time I find him sleeping. Yelling at him to come down for dinner, and sitting at the counter picking on ledger and greyson and eating off their plates. Him hiding the remote control from me so i couldn't change the show he was watching. I just picture his voice, and him walking around without a shirt on. It's made me more emotional than i have been in a long time. It's just hard to see him everyday, it scares me that he won't be the same. I guess I can see things in his personality right now that aren't the same as he was before. And it scares me. It probably sounds selfish, and I don't mean to sound that way at all. It's just hard. And terrifying. I will be the happiest, luckiest most grateful person in the world, no matter the outcome of this all. No matter where he ends up as far as recovery. I miss that boy, a lot. and it's hard not knowing if he will ever be the same. I guess it's just crazy and a little bit confusing to me how he could be the normal, healthy, annoying brother he was before Nov 1, and then everything was different. Sometimes I still wonder if this is just all a big bad dream, and that someday I'll wake up. It's not though, it's reality. And it sucks, it really does, but you just deal with it right? As best as you can! And I know that the big man upstairs has got a plan, a really good one, and that he doesn't give us trials we can't endure…but that doesn't take away the occasional breakdowns, or worry, or fear that I guess I'm feeling right now. I just have to keep on believing, praying and having faith in good things to come for my Britt, we all do.

Today we were talking, me and Britt. And we got talking about how he'd been asleep for 3 whole months. I told him how hard it had been, to just sit with him each day, hoping and praying that someday he'd wake up. He started crying and pointed to his head, "I know autty, I know." I don't really know what that meant. I asked him if he remembered what he was doing and where he was when he was asleep. He said, yes, and cried harder. So now we are both crying. I asked him a few more questions which he couldn't really answer. He was trying to tell me something i couldn't understand, so I said, you can tell me about it later okay? It's the hardest thing in the world to see him cry so hard like that…I just wish that i could trade him spots somehow.

This is a roller coaster, I'll tell ya what. But it's okay! There are plenty of ups to go along with the downs. Thank you for your prayers and love:)