Grateful No Matter the Circumstance

Today my good friend Kacey suggested I read a recent talk by Dieter F. Uchtdorf...Kacey was an answer to my prayers today, i needed to read every single word of this talk...it has already helped me so much and the attitude I had an hour ago has completely changed after reading it.  (you can read it by clicking here)

He basically just talks about gratitude. And being grateful in every situation, no matter the circumstances. Good or bad, happy or sad. To always have gratitude in your heart. 

These were a few of my favorite parts of his talk:

"We can choose to be grateful, no matter what.

This type of gratitude transcends whatever is happening around us. It surpasses disappointment, discouragement, and despair. It blooms just as beautifully in the icy landscape of winter as it does in the pleasant warmth of summer.

When we are grateful to God in our circumstances, we can experience gentle peace in the midst of tribulation. In grief, we can still lift up our hearts in praise. In pain, we can glory in Christ’s Atonement. In the cold of bitter sorrow, we can experience the closeness and warmth of heaven’s embrace.

We sometimes think that being grateful is what we do after our problems are solved, but how terribly shortsighted that is. How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is rain?

Being grateful in times of distress does not mean that we are pleased with our circumstances. It does mean that through the eyes of faith we look beyond our present-day challenges.

This is not a gratitude of the lips but of the soul. It is a gratitude that heals the heart and expands the mind."

I really liked the part where he says that more often than not we think being grateful comes after our problems. Throughout this whole experience, this is something that I have tried to really understand and believe in, and it is not easy, by any means. We can sit back and talk about how many blessings we have seen come from this, all of the great stories we have heard and the hearts that have been changed...but at the end of the day, our hearts still hurt. The pain is still there. My brother is still here. At those times, when i forget about being grateful for all of the good...I find it nearly impossible to cope. And then I snap out of it and i'm like HELLO ARE YOU KIDDING, LOOK WHERE YOU ARE. LOOK HOW FAR BRITT HAS COME. LOOK AT ALL THE MIRACLES YOUVE WITNESSED. THE BLESSINGS YOU'VE SEEN. LOOK HOW MUCH CLOSER YOU'VE BECOME TO YOU'RE HEAVENLY FATHER AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST. LOOK HOW STRONG AND UNBREAKABLE YOUR FAMILY HAS PROVED TO BE. And then, i remember to hold on to that continuos and never ending sense of gratitude. To God and to the amazing community we have. Because when you are grateful, you become humbled and hopeful, and when you are humbled and hopeful you are much happier, in any circumstance. 

"Being grateful in our circumstances is an act of faith in God. It requires that we trust God and hope for things we may not see but which are true.⁸By being grateful, we follow the example of our beloved Savior, who said, “Not my will, but thine, be done.”⁹

True gratitude is an expression of hope and testimony. It comes from acknowledging that we do not always understand the trials of life but trusting that one day we will.

In any circumstance, our sense of gratitude is nourished by the many and sacred truths we do know: that our Father has given His children the great plan of happiness; that through the Atonement of His Son, Jesus Christ, we can live forever with our loved ones; that in the end, we will have glorious, perfect, and immortal bodies, unburdened by sickness or disability; and that our tears of sadness and loss will be replaced with an abundance of happiness and joy, “good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over.”¹⁰

And this is where i thank my lucky stars to have the gospel of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, in my life. To know what I know. And not just say I know it because I have read it, and listened to it, and and been taught it my entire life...but because I have FELT IT. I have felt the spirit testify to me that these things, the principles and teaching of the gospel, are true, and they are real. By knowing that God has a plan, and that his hand is in all things, it makes the hard times in life understood. There is always a greater purpose behind things like what my brother is going through. Greater than we could ever imagine. If my family and I didn't understand these truths, these doctrines...I feel we would be broken, lost, in denial, scared and afraid of a potential ending. Asking why us? Why Britton? What did he do to deserve this? Feeling sorry for ourselves, with blame and hatred in our hearts. I just know that it would not be good. It would be terrible!! Don't get me wrong, we are not immune to the feelings of fear and heartache by any means...they come. BUT, the difference is that we are not alone in this. Trusting in the Lord and understanding and utilizing the atonement in our lives, and being grateful every step of the way. Even if it seems impossible to find the good in the hard times, we must have faith that we are being prepared for something great, and have faith that the Lord will hold our hand, leading us and guiding us through it all. Being Grateful...for that. 

I've said it a million times, and I'll say it a million more...but my family and I are truly grateful. Yeah of course we would like to rewind and pretend this never happened, but sometimes we stop and think to ourselves....would we? To rewind would to be going against the will of the Lord, and to have never grown as we have, to have never witnessed the changes and miracles we've seen. And we know that Britton chose this. That after this, no matter the outcome, he will be far more incredible and inspiring than he ever was before. Which is hard to imagine, cause he was pretty great. We are grateful for the blessings and opportunities that have come from this. Although sometimes in disguise, we see them everyday, and that's what keeps us going....the good....the gratitude.

This holiday season, take time to truly think about all of the blessing in your lives. Small or big. Each is so significant. Take the time to thank Heavenly Father for each of them. Especially your families. There is no greater blessing upon the face of the earth. Be thankful for them. Remember that thing I said about "Say it, show it, let them know it?"...please don't forget that. Tell the people you care about that you love them everyday, and show them that through your actions. Remember that there is a big picture. That all of the things we get worrying about or stressed out about, the things that take up so much of our time, and pull us away from what matters most...are not important. They don't matter, really. Don't get caught up in the small unimportant things. It's not worth it. Put all of your time, and efforts towards who and what you care about. Happy Sunday, and remember to believe for our Britt. 

p.s. here is a good laugh for you! courtesy of my aunt lib and her photoshop skills

My Sweet Boy

Britton Adam Shipp. I hope you know that I love you by now. I love you more than I love Charise Smith's chocolate chip cookies...and that is A LOT.

I love you enough to let you sleep in mom's bed when dad is out of town....even when it is my turn.

I love you enough to buy you christmas presents with my own money....and not moms.

I love you enough to not tell dad when you actually slept in till 1 o'clock instead of getting up early and doing chores.

I love you enough to let you wear those hideous american flag parachute pants in public.

I love you enough to let you drive my car, take it drifting, get in trouble by the cops....and not tell mom or dad about it. (until now oops)

I love you enough to let you inherit my crocks when i never actually told you that you could have them.

I love you enough to let you beat me in mario kart.

I love you enough to eat your dinner off you're plate that one time when i was like 6, and you were like 3, and you were at the table for 4 hours cause you couldn't leave until you ate it all. AND IT WAS NASTY...(sorry mom, i think you were trying a new recipe) and I ate it. I took that upon myself, and took one for the team, just for you.

Cause I love you.

You made me a big sis. My first little buddy. Remember when we were little, and NSYNC was like....OUR JAM? We worshipped them. We knew every single song by heart. Anyway, at that point...you were more of a little sister than a little brother to me because you let me dress you up and teach you dances, and then we would go outside on the front lawn and perform them for the bypassing cars. I must've brainwashed you. Let's just give you the benefit of the doubt and say i brainwashed you into all of that. I would dress you up in all of moms scarfs, and i would put clips and bows in your hair and drag you around making you play house with me. And you totally complied. Never even argued. You liked it. Don't deny it. Thanks for playing with me though. Also, can we please take a moment to remember our NSYNC and Backstreet Boys days. I mean i still love both of them....but those were the days. We played dance class. I was the teacher/choreographer, and you were the student. I would teach you all the moves, and we would spend hours in my room practicing and preparing. HAHAHAHA. I am dying remembering all of this. So funny. You were actually a really good little dancer. You had moves, i'll give it to ya. Then we would put on our costumes and go perform. We played the tapes on my little barbie boom box. I'm sorry for all the years when i just wished you were a little sister instead of brother, and for trying to make you into one. But thanks for doing it anyway, and still keeping your man card in tact. I won't bring up the times you played barbies and polly pockets with me though.

But I will admit. I am still, to this day very upset that you cut up my favorite sketchers with scissors...that was cruel. But i have found forgiveness in my heart. The second pair mom bought me were never the same....but, we all mess up in life;)

I can't wait till you wake up.

You were finally starting to give me good quality hugs, you better pick up where you left off.

Love you always sweet boy,

Aut

Just Because

Just because one of my favorite memories of my brother was seeing him off to his first dance and first date! Homecoming 2014, Britt took Aspen on his and her first date:) To say he was excited is an understatement. But let me tell you...it is a weird day when you're little brother is old enough to date girls. LIKE WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?! I loved seeing him so happy and giddy, color coordinated with his beautiful date. He looked so so handsome in his tux, no braces, and perfect hair. And she looked so beautiful, as always. They went together like bacon and eggs. (i use that analogy because he loves bacon and eggs) I know Britt really likes aspen...(he is going to kill me when he finally gets to reading this) and who could blame him? She is perfect!! So it was so fun to see them together, having such a good time. I got to take their groups pictures and kind of meet all of them, just taking a trip down memory lane. Good old high school, i was so excited for them and all the fun times they were starting to have. I hope aspen doesn't mind that i'm sharing all of this hahaha...but i can't help it, because it was easily one of the funnest and most exciting days for my brother, and for me to see him like that:)

Here is a little video her dad made of when he went to pick her up for the dance:)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rxrzmch1ST8

One Month

The last couple of days have been pretty hard. I wont lie. Britt is fighting though, and he's not giving up! He has had a few things come up that have scared us, but has been strong and gets through them, just like the boy we all know. As a family, we have just really had to be there for each other lately. I feel like we have hit that point, where it has just hit us. Hit us that, our sweet Britt is here. We just want him back. We want him to wake up. All of the little things that have been happening are scary, and when it isn't all going well, it's just so much harder. It's hard to be patient, and just trust it at times. 

Gosh I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm back to square one...that it's even harder to deal with this all, than it was the first couple of days we were here. I don't know why that is. The waiting game is tough. BUT I'M SO THANKFUL WE GET TO WAIT AROUND. So so thankful. It just gets tough to look at his little face, and for him to not look back. Or to talk to him and him not say anything back. It's just been too long since i've heard his cute laugh.

The other day i was laying in bed, i had just woken up, and i could hear my little brothers in the kitchen yelling about something...and i swear i heard Britt's voice. It was the weirdest thing. And for a minute i didn't even realize that it was weird, it just seemed and felt so normal. Then i remembered that he wasn't there in the kitchen, he was still laying in a hospital bed in the ICU hooked up to stuff, so fragile, and so frail. 

They have told us over and over and over again. This is going to be a long road. A marathon. It won't be easy, it will get harder as the days go on. They've told us we will have to be patient, time and time again. And we understand that, we do, and we are ready and so willing to go forth and do whatever it takes. But no matter what they tell you, nothing can be said or done that will truly prepare you for the journey that lies ahead. We have learned that it is such a day by day process. One day at a time. Can't look back, can't look ahead. We can only focus on the day at hand. One day at a time with our sweet boy. Every moment counts. And there are plenty of bad days....but so many good. Sometimes we get discouraged because we focus on the bad things and days, when we cant...because what is the point? What good does that do for us? 

They are thinking of moving Britt to another facility up north. At some point, they move TBI patients to out of the ICU and into and LTAC facility. What they are doing here in the ICU can be done in an LTAC, as well as much more physical therapy and things like that to get him waking up hopefully. An LTAC is a long term acute care facility. They specialize in the longer term care of patients and rehabilitation of serious injuries. Whereas the ICU is more short term care. They think he is stable enough to do this. Usually they like to move them once they are awake, but in Britt's case it's different. There are a few facilities that we are considering for him, but we want to make sure to choose the best possible one for his situation! Not gonna lie, I'm really sad that we have to leave this place, we all are!! The doctors, the nurses, the entire staff. Amazing. And we have become so close over the past month, they have become our little family. It was hard to leave our home the first time, and now that we have to leave our home we have made here in the ICU, it is going to be even harder! I can't even begin to thank all of the sweet nurses, physical therapists, doctors, techs, etc. for all that they have done for us, and how they have so kindly taken us under their wing. We LOVE all of them, and can't wait till Britt can come back and meet all of the people who helped him along the way. That is going to be a good day. Anyways, we know that moving him is the next step, and the best choice, for him, and his recovery! And we are excited to see where the next step will take him! 

I just want to thank all of you for following along with Britt and his journey. For the nonstop prayers and continuous thoughts. For the kind gestures and acts of selfless service that you show us every day. We are so lucky to be surrounded by such special people. Truly blessed. And now that we are having to move him up north, pretty far from our home here in St. George, we are going to need that help. And i promise we will gladly accept it. I don't know what this next step will mean for our family, our how it is all going to work out, with my parent working, and my brothers in school, but I know that it will...because we have great friends and family to help us out along the way!! So we will need you more than ever here pretty soon:) We love you. Keep believing in our Britt. Don't quit!!

Happy Thanksgiving

This was a perfect day. It was a simple day though. We were at a baseball tournament for my youngest brother this past summer. We spent the whole day at the ball fields together (our favorite place to be), my dad coached my brother played, and my mom, Britton and I watched from the stands, spitting seeds, giving each other back scratches, and cheering on our little leddy. Me and britt went over to the other field and played catch with the football for awhile, then we rode Greyson's scooter around and he showed us some new tricks he had learned. We walked out to the parking lot and me and my mom talked with some friends while all the boys threw the football around. I remember looking at all my brothers that moment and thinking, "how on earth did i get so lucky. They are each growing up so fast, and into such great and special young men...i'm so proud of them." We all got together for a family pic, and even though it was spur of the moment, it is my favorite picture of all of us. Then we all watched the sunset together, it was one of the prettiest ones I had ever seen. We all piled into the car fighting over the back seat...(I won...obviously), and took off, my dad turned up the radio and we all sang along to 'fancy'. Me and Britton would sing the rapping parts, Greyson and ledger took the chorus, and my mom and dad were the back ups. I laugh so hard thinking back on it. We drove by a fair that was going on and I snapped this picture. I'm thankful for this day. Although simple, it was perfect. Cause I had all I could ever ask for right next to me; smiling and laughing. Happy thanksgiving friends! I hope you can all find millions of simple things to be thankful for today.

Today wasnt the best day for our boy, but nonetheless we are thankful that we were able to spend thanksgiving with him. There are good days, and there are not so good days...but each day is a blessing, truly. Because each day is yet another day with my sweet brother in our lives! Our hearts are so full of love and gratitude towards all of you for everything you have done for our family the past month or so. Please know we are so thankful. And please keep believing in him:)

Oh Christmas Tree

Also, thank you to the sophomore class at Snow Canyon, for dedicating their sophomore tree to our Britt. You guys are so awesome, and did such a great job with it:) THANK YOU THANK YOU! These kind, sweet, and selfless gestures, mean the world, and so much more, to our family.

Buzz 4 Britt

Shout out to all the fella's out there who buzzed it like Britt! You guys are awesome:) It's so fun for us to see all the pictures all over.

Day 25

Britt is having a great day so far! It has just been a "quiet day", nothing has really happened...good or bad, so we consider those great days! He has been having pretty high temperatures the last couple nights, and they think it's because he is still going through the neurological storming. So hopefully those stay under control. They sat him up again early today, and he did really well. So nothin too crazy going on today! That's how the next while will probably be, just sitting and waiting, and hoping that all continues to go well:) Basically the next step for britt is to start responding to commands purposefully, or to open those little eyes of his. We would really like that one!hahah Keep up the good work on those awesome prayers, and continuous thoughts for our boy!

SOME FUN STUFF BOUT BRITT:

Greyson calls him Britney. And Britton hates it. HATES IT. It's is quite hilarious. If you know Greyson, then you know that he likes to say things very...obnoxiously and in the absolute weirdest voices. So when he calls Britton that, its like..."WHATS UP BRITNAYYYYYYY." then Britton chases him around and usually throws something at him. Greyson cries, and the whole nine yards. Every time Greyson comes into the ICU to visit Britt......you bet the first thing he says is, "Wake up Britnayyyy."

Britton loves black Friday. I mean, what 16 year old boy on this planet do you know of who likes to go shopping, let alone at the wee hours of the night?!?! that is right......none. But Brittton does. We used to tease him, because he would beg my mom to take him...so we would tell them to have fun on their girls night out!haha So if anything is going to wake my brother up anytime soon, it is going to be all the stinkin black friday commercials on TV, he really wont want to miss that. 

Forrest Gump is probably Britton's favorite movie of all time. Him and Ledger probably watch it together at least once every month. So we watched it last night in honor of him:)

Also, Britt used to have frosted tips on his hair ALL the time when he was younger. He was like a miniature vanilla Ice....pretty sure that's what they are doing in this picture!

Smooth Sailin

This morning Britt went down for a CT scan, and then had the operation to put in the shunt, and then back down for another CT scan, and an x-ray as well. It all went perfectly smooth. The doctor said it was one of the easiest shunts he had ever done! Britt looks like a completely different man without any drains coming our of his head! He looks so good. The swelling from the surgery has also gone down quite a bit. He is back on the vent today, they will probably alternate back and forth between the oxygen mask and the vent. Now we just need him to open those eyes and wake up already!! All of his numbers have stayed really good, except for his blood pressure, it has been a little higher than they would like, so they are keeping  a close eye on that. His pupils still aren't responsive, or dilating much, one of them is a lot larger than the other. They still are unsure of what that might mean, as far as brain activity. He is still responding to painful stimulus pretty well. So all in all, things are going well! Thank you for all your prayers, and service:) We love you. Britt loves you. Don't stop believing!!!!

Dad

So you've heard all about my mom, Greyson, Ledger, and me...it's time to tell you about my freakin awesome dad!

He goes by the name of Jesse Randall Shipp. AKA the greatest man to ever live. And it just so happens that me and my brothers got lucky enough to get him as our dad. I swear my dad knows every single person west of the Mississippi. HE'S GOT FRIENDS EVERYWHERE. We cant drive down the road without 40 waves, and 30 head nods to by passing cars. And we cant go anywhere without him stopping ever 10 feet to talk to the person walking by because they know each other. As soon as I say my last name to anyone or anywhere..."Oh Jesse Shipp must be your dad." I'm not kidding about this either. He is every ones friend. I don't know if I have met more than a couple people in my life who haven't already known my dad. And it's because he is just a great guy. I mean who wouldn't want to be his friend.

Britton and my dad have always had a special relationship, I mean he does own the birthright and all. Ever since Britt was just a little guy, him and my dad were the greatest of hunting buddies, fishing buddies, 4-wheeling buddies, baseball playin buddies, layin on the couch all day eating nachos and watching football buddies. All that boy stuff...they did that together. Every day. Ever since I can remember. he taught us how to hunt, fish, start a fire, throw a ball, make a basket, score a goal, run fast, shoot a gun, chalk a field, hitch a trailor, pitch a tent, how to appreciate the millions of bright stars above you on a cot, the quakies in the fall, the fresh mountain air, the greenish blue lake water. He taught us how to be passionate, how to do what we love, and chase our dreams. He taught us how to be respectful, to be charitable, and kind hearted.

We have all been lucky enough to have my dad as our coach...in almost everything...all growing up. And if you know my dad, you know coaching is way more than just a hobby for him, it is a definite passion of his. He started coaching Britton when he was really little, and didn't stop until he hit freshman year. When it comes to a coaching standpoint, my dad is always expecting and pushing us to be the best athlete out there. He yells a lot, we cry a lot. Well mostly me, Britt mostly takes it like a man. But he encourages us and praises us, always wanting to see us succeed. But that's the thing. To get the most out of someone, you have to push them, you have to make them cry make them mad. And that is something my brother and I have always respected and admired in my dad. As much as it sucked sometimes, we love that he was hard on us when we weren't performing well, because he wouldn't let us settle...and he never will, whether it is in sports or in life. He sees the potential in all of us kids, and he expects us to reach that.

Britton is the strong, ambitious, and confident young man he is today, because of my dad. I have no doubt, that Britton is putting up such a great fight, because of what he has learned from my dad over the years. It doesn't matter if you are the underdog or the best in the game, if you want something bad enough, and you fight and work hard enough for it, you will achieve it. Because heart and hard work beats talent any day of the week. And I know this isn't football game we are talking about here...it's a traumatic brain injury. But I know that Britt has heart, and he has learned through the years, with my dad's help...that if he works hard enough and long enough...he will be successful. That's what he is doin right now. He's fighting, and he's fighting hard.

No matter how hard my dad pushes us, no matter how loud he yells, no matter how mad we might seem at each other, he always lets us know he loves us at the end of the day. He always tells us how proud of us he is. I can't think of a more perfect example. Someone who makes you work day in and day out, taking absolutely no short cuts and no easy way out, always expecting the most out of you because they know how great you are capable of being...But never cease to tell you how much you mean to them, how loved and how special you are. That's my dad. And it isn't just in sports...it's in life too. Whether it be in school, with our friends and our relationships, our church callings, or just who we are as people and individuals...He pushes us to be the best we can be. Responsible, honest, respectful, hard working, genuine, kind, grateful, giving, mentally strong, physically strong, spiritually strong and so much more.

My dad is the best man I know. He gives so much. He is so selfless and always wanting what is best for everyone else, never thinking of just himself. He would do anything for anyone in a heartbeat, that i know. Whether you are a stranger or an old friend, he would give you the shirt off his back. He works so hard, to give my mom and my brothers and me, everything we could ever want and need and more. I don't know if he sleeps or ever even eats...hahahahah, okay, he eats, i know he eats....but sleeping, i don't think he does that. He is just always going going going, whether it is work, coaching, hunting, he is a busy man. Although he does find time, to watch all of his "shows" that he DVR's. And he's got like 10 of them. My brothers all like to snuggle up on the couch with him and watch them.

Britton and my dad have gotten to spend a lot of quality time together the past year or so, a lot more than usual. they went on a week long trip to Alaska, bear hunting and fishing, with some friends. Britton hasn't stopped talking about how fun  that trip was since. They made a lot of good memories together out there. And the last few months, they've spent a lot of time out deer hunting together, and the inside jokes and stories i hear from those weekends make me wish i was there to join in on all the fun. When Britt turned 16 he wanted a specific truck, and even though it was hard to find and a little more expensive than my dad could afford at the moment, he did everything he could and bent over backwards, trying to find the best, nicest, 4-runner our there for my brother, and he did! Britt always has the nicest glove, bat, you name it...my dad makes sure of it. talk about "special treatment" haha just kidding, i have no room to talk;) Try being the only girl....it definitely has its perks. Anyways, that is just the type of dad we have...always wanting the best for us kids. and he works hard enough to make it happens. He wants us to have the best possible life and opportunities, and he would do anything and every thing to see that through.

The most important thing my dad has ever taught my brother and been a great example of, is how to be a worthy priesthood holder. He has always exhibited the power and strength that the priesthood holds, and has made it a point for it to be a centerfold in our home. always. It's his example, that has shaped my brother into the spiritually solid young man he is, and helped him to gain the testimony that he has.

I've never seen my dad so broken, so torn, as he has been these past weeks. I cannot imagine the pain he feels, or begin to fathom the hurt his heart is experiencing. His own son having to endure all of this. And for him probably feeling like he has to be strong and unmoved, for all of us. Even though I know he wants to break down and cry sometimes. I cant believe the strength my dad has shown, it is incredible. He has been nothing short of remarkable through all of this. I wouldn't be able to get though this without his example of faith and trust in the lords plan...thats for darn sure. None of us would. He sleeps with Britton every single night, holding tight to his hand, constantly talking to him, whispering words of encouragement, i love you's...he hasn't left his side, and he never will. he loves that boy with his whole heart.

I look up to my dad in so many ways, as do my brothers. He is the rock of our family. He is the perfect example of a what a father should be to his kids. And what a husband should be to his wife. He is truly an amazing man. And every day I'm thankful, that he is our dad.

Day 23

All of the neuro docs came in today and talked about the CT scan. It shows that he has absorbed some fluid on his own but only 200 ml of the 600 ml, so they have decided to do a shunt. They have to do this quickly, because the drain that he has had in his head since day one, has been in too long, and the risk of dangerous and deadly infection is very high. The sooner they can get it out the safer. The timing is just unfortunate, because he has shown that he has been able to absorb some of the fluid, and with time he would probably be able to do it completely on his own, but they cant risk leaving the drain in any longer. They are going to put in a shunt tomorrow morning, and take out the drain. We are hoping that somehow, someway he will continue to do it on his own, and the shunt wont have to do much work.

HE'S OFF THE VENT. They took him off the ventilator and attached an oxygen mask over his trach, so he is doing almost all of the breathing entirely on his own. SO SWEET! they are going to monitor it, and might switch him back on the vent, and then off, alternating, depending on how things go.

They also sat him up today! SAT HIM UP! Like, on the edge of his bed. There were about 6 people helping him and holding him up, but it was pretty awesome. Cause they haven't been able to move him at all like that yet. They started doing it twice a day so that his heart, brain and respiratory system can start recognizing movement and different positioning, and try to adjust. He did really well with it, and stayed stable the whole time.

(you can watch this video on the computer)

The Refiners Fire

This is one of my favorite messages/videos. What this women has to say is so powerful, and so true. It doesnt matter if you are going or have gone through something as hard as her or something small and minor. All trials are hard. No matter the degree. They test us. They break us. They build us. She offers a really great quote in the video, "The greater our sorrow is, the greater our capacity is to feel joy." 

take a look: http://www.mormonchannel.org/video/mormon-messages?v=3897359657001

To me, the refiners fire burns you, melts you, it breaks you down. It is hurtful, and painful. But through our savior Jesus Christ, and only though him, can we be shaped, mended, worked, fixed...into the person, and the spirt, who he so badly want us to become. I love this analogy. It is a perfect representation of the hard times in our lives that we will face, in the moments that we will feel so broken, so useless, so far from happy and loved, and if we choose not to turn to our Father in heaven with a humble heart, asking for help, we will stay in that state of misery and sorrow forever. BUT, if we give our heart to the Savior, having faith in him and that through the atonement we can be healed and helped through our trials and tribulations...we will be formed, by the refiner, Christ, into who he wants us to become.

In a talk by Elder James E. Faust, titled The Refiners Fire, he said "Here then is a great truth. In the pain, the agony, and the heroic endeavors of life, we pass through a refiner’s fire, and the insignificant and the unimportant in our lives can melt away like dross and make our faith bright, intact, and strong. In this way the divine image can be mirrored from the soul. It is part of the purging toll exacted of some to become acquainted with God. In the agonies of life, we seem to listen better to the faint, godly whisperings of the Divine Shepherd.

Into every life there come the painful, despairing days of adversity and buffeting. There seems to be a full measure of anguish, sorrow, and often heartbreak for everyone, including those who earnestly seek to do right and be faithful. The thorns that prick, that stick in the flesh, that hurt, often change lives which seem robbed of significance and hope. This change comes about through a refining process which often seems cruel and hard. In this way the soul can become like soft clay in the hands of the Master in building lives of faith, usefulness, beauty, and strength. For some, the refiner’s fire causes a loss of belief and faith in God, but those with eternal perspective understand that such refining is part of the perfection process.

In our extremities, it is possible to become born again, born anew, renewed in heart and spirit. We no longer ride with the flow of the crowd, but instead we enjoy the promise of Isaiah to be renewed in our strength and “mount up with wings as eagles” (Isa. 40:31).

The proving of one’s faith goes before the witnessing, for Moroni testified, “Ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith” (Ether 12:6). This trial of faith can become a priceless experience. Stated Peter, “That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ” (1 Pet. 1:7)."

So Far, So Good

Britt did really well last night, and has been doing good all morning! The scan showed some good things! The ventricles in his brain, are still bigger than they are supposed to be, which isn't giving them a very accurate feel of whether or not his brain is draining the fluid on its own or not...but they are going to give it some more time, to see if the ventricles start shrinking in order for that to happen! The brain is still very much in "survival mode" so, it isn't necessarily acting as it usually would. But all of his numbers are looking great! His ICP has stayed pretty low for the most part which is important, and he is still responding to pain! Still moving around, which tells us that his brain is still functioning on that end! The swelling isn't too bad yet, they expect the 3rd and 4th day to be the worst. Everything is going well so far though!


Here's a family video from a couple of years ago https://vimeo.com/68576493

Over and Out

Britt made it through the surgery just fine! It took about 5 hours. They said things went really well, and he did great. They are going to do a CT scan in the morning to see how things are looking and determine whether or not his brain is draining the fluid or not. They said the next few days will probably be pretty hard, and it is possible for him to take a few steps backwards...but we are hopeful it will only be positive things! The swelling is expected to come back the next couple of days. He has a new hair do....bald. And he still is just as cute. Thank you for the prayers!! We are hoping for good news in the morning:) Keep believing. over and out.

Big Day

The doctor has decided that they will do the surgery tonight at 4pm!

They will reopen the skin flap on the right side of this head, and put the skull back on. They have reconstructed the skull and all of the broken fragments from the initial impact of what happened, they will push with the skull, onto the ventricles membrane, hoping to clear enough fluid off of the brain, that it will be possible for them to screw the skull on without increasing the pressure in his brain too much. They said there can be many risks to putting the skull back on. Infection, increased pressures, pushing of the brain, etc. So we are crossing our fingers and praying that the skull will be able to fit just right! They will keep the drain on the left side of his head in while they place the skull, giving the fluid somewhere to drain as they push. They will also place a drain in his spine, as a safety option, just in case the drain in his head stops. The risks with having to use the spinal drain, is that while it is pulling fluid down from the brain, it could also possibly pull the brain down, making it sag closer to the brain stem. They will place the skull first, and then lay him on his side, to remove the hematoma by drilling a medium sized hole in the left side of his skull. They will monitor him for about a day, after the surgery, and then get an MRI to see if his brain has been able to drain the fluid on it's own, and to see how the surgery's went, if they helped or made it worse. If his brain is unable to do that on its own, they will have to put in a shunt. Which I think I've already told you what that is, but its a permanent drain with a valve, that they put under the skin of head, and it winds down draining the brain fluid into the stomach. There are also a lot of risks with a shunt. It can get infected, it can get clogged, stop working, etc.

The doctor has told us many times, there are a lot of risks with this surgery. This isn't a situation where they can follow a rule book and know exactly what to do when to do it, or what will happen. They just have to hope things go well and deal with the consequences as they come. We are so confident in them though, and know their judgement is best.

It has turned into a big day for Britt. Please pray for the doctors as they go into this surgery. And please pray for my brother, that it will all go smoothly and there will be no complications. And that his little brain will be able to start draining the fluid on its own, like they are hoping for!:)

GO BRITT!! You got this bud!

The Yawn

I told you it was cute...
(This video won't play on a mobile device)

3 Weeks

Three weeks today!! Holy cow. Looking back from day 1 to day 21, Britt sure has come such a long way, and he looks so good. My dad has been taking pictures of him each day to see the changes, and let me tell you what, it is amazing to see the progress he has made in his appearance alone! Someday I will share them with you all!

We have got a wiggle worm on our hands folks. Britt has been a busy boy today, moving all around. I was talking to him holding his hand, when he started moving his little mouth all around and he brought both of his arms up by his neck, then started lifting his head off the bed like he was going to sit up or something. It kinda freaked me out. actually it really freaked me out. So I had my mom go get the nurse, because i literally thought he was going to fall out of the bed, or pull his trach out...so the nurse came in and got him repositioned. He has been wiggling his toes and moving his legs a little bit today too! It is so fun to see him do all these little things, it gets us so excited! My favorite thing is when he yawns. He just started doing it the last couple of days! IT IS SO CUTE. This big giant, sideways yawn, for about 10 seconds. I mean, you've only been sleeping for 21 days Britt, theres no way you're tired.

Everything is looking good so far today! His sodium and carbon dioxide levels both look really good, and the swelling/fluid is draining well. We still haven't gotten word on the exact day and time for the surgery. They are thinking tomorrow! I will let you all know though for sure, when we find out.

Todays agenda: watch football and the occasional HGTV when Britt isn't looking haha, read books, talk his ear off, laugh at my mom for wearing one of those swine flu masks, and hope that maybe today is the day he wakes up;)

Thank you for the continuous prayers, thoughts, acts of service. We are one lucky family to have so many people believing and caring for our Britt. A sweet nurse from the ICU gave us a book to read, and as my mom and I were reading from this book "Making it Though the Middle" by Emily Freeman, one page really stood out to us and reminded us of all of you. Our Angels.

Here is an excerpt from the chapter:

"I believe angels are real. I know they are--because in moments of discouragement and doubt, when I haven't had the strength to put one foot in front of the other, the Lord has sent angels to bear me up and strengthen me. To help lift the heavy load I could never have carried on my own. I don't know what your circumstances are today. Perhaps you are in desperate need of heavens help. If so I pray that the Lord will give His angels charge over you. But even more importantly, I pray that He will open your eyes to recognize the angels that He sends. For angels come in different shapes and sizes, bearing up comes in ways we might not anticipate." 

It is proceeded by a quote from Jeffery R. Holland, "When we speak of those who are instruments in the hand of God, we are reminded that not all angels are form the other side of the veil. Some of them we walk with and talk with--here, now, every day. Some of them reside in our own neighborhoods"

Pretty cool right? This is totally talking about YOU!! Thank you. Thank you for being our angels, for bearing us up, for being here for us now, when we need you most.

Hope

A couple of days ago I was given a bracelet from a sweet woman, who i have come to know a little bit through a friend. It is a simple plain silver bracelet that reads "HOPE" on it. She said she had been wearing it on her wrist, hoping to run into me or my mom someday and give it to one of us. I could tell it was worn, and probably had many years behind it. As i wore it the rest of the night on my wrist I didn't really think too much about, it other than it was pretty cute, and it was so nice of her to give it to me. But when I got home that night, I went to take the keys out of my ignition and it caught me eye.

Hope.

We say the word a lot, we hear it every day. We know it holds significance, but do we understand all the word entails? Do we know what Hope, truly means?

So I looked up the definition...

¹hope

 verb \ˈhōp\

: to want something to happen or be true and think that it could happen or be true

: to desire with expectation of obtainment

: to expect with confidence

I have hope that my little brother will make a full recovery. That one day, he will wake up, and regain conciseness. That his brain will heal. That I will be able to see him smile again, laugh, walk, run, be himself. I want that. I want that so bad. My mom does, my dad does, my brothers do. We all do. We want that for our sweet boy, and I expect that. I expect a miracle, with a humble heart. I have faith and hope, that my brother will receive just that. 

November 1, 2014...that freezing cold day on Pine valley mountain. That moment when time stood still. When my brother lay on the ground, struggling for air, eyes rolled back, aspirating  and bleeding from the neck up. 

In the moment...he was still here with us, still alive, and breathing with what little strength he could. 

In that moment...he had a chance. 

In that moment...we had hope. 

I get very emotional, thinking back to that day, the circumstances, what he must have been feeling, what everyone there might have been feeling. From the very moment the accident happened. 

It wasn't over then. Not yet. He hadn't given up. To know that he was so close that day to passing away, sends a shock though my heart. To know that he was so close. But he hung on. He hung on hard. He overcame the odds and he fought. Through the pain, the weather, the waiting. He held on. Our father in heaven held on with him. He gave him a chance. WE ALL had a sense of hope from that very moment we got word of what had happened. Hope that my little brother would somehow someway, receive a miracle and make it...even if it was just for a second longer. 

We had hope. Hope that our prayers would be heard, and answered. Hope that our almighty God would be able to protect him, heal him, hold him. Hope that the fire department would be able to attend to him until more help arrived. Hope that the Life Flight crew would be able to keep my brother alive while making their way to the hospital. Hope that the surgeon would be able to help my brother, and that he would make it through surgery. Hope that I would be able to see my brother again tell him how much I loved him, even if it was one last time in a hospital room. Hope that we would get to spend yet another day with him. Hope that with each passing day, he would receive blessings and see miracles, progressing little by little, day by day. 

On that first night, in the hospital, I remember hearing my dad, puffy eye'd and shaking, say something along the lines of this to a visitor...

"It doesnt matter who, what, when, where, how, or why....all that matters, is that my boy, is in there (pointing to the ICU doors) and he's getting a chance!"


Things could have been very different that bitter cold, unfortunate day. But for some reason, and a reason I thank my Father in Heaven for every second of every day... 

My Britt, was given a chance. 

And we, were given hope. 

Change Up

Day 19.... I grabbed Autty's computer this afternoon and decided to throw a little "Change Up" in the daily blog.
As I have sat here night after night I have had so many thoughts flowing through my head about the last 19 days. Even back to that short-simple little text that Sommer received Sat Nov 1st while she was watching Moose playing baseball in a game that I was coaching. It said "Britton has been in a 4-wheel accident on his Sadie Hawkins date and he's got a concussion" Well as you can imagine we didn't really know where to go or what to do? We knew he was 50 miles away on his day date somewhere around Pine Valley, Utah and more than likely someone would haul him down to inst-care or the ER. Sommer & I talked and she went to the hospital to just wait there for him and see what was really going on! 30 minutes had gone by and I hadn't heard anything from Sommer. I had just took my phone out of my pocket to text her when a good friend of ours came running to the dugout I was sitting by and said " Jesse, you need to go NOW! They are life flighting Britton to the hospital!" You can imagine the panic that sits in when you hear something like that? I got up off my bucket and headed for my truck in the parking lot with a little bit of a gate in my step. I kept as calm as possible thinking to myself "Ok, this was in a remote location and he just has a concussion, so they had to send a helicopter up there to get him." I kept thinking everything is going to be ok! I also kept thinking "Wow, this is going to be one expensive helicopter ride!" Little did I know! Now here we are Day 19.....

We have always made it a point, priority, habit, tradition, whatever you want to call it, to LOVE our kids! I mean hug, snuggle, kiss, smooch, tease, smoother, cuddle you get the point! Whether it's our stinky boys or our sweetheart of a girl. We always give kisses good morning, kisses goodnight, kisses hello, kisses goodbye. We make sure we always say "I love You" when we leave in the morning or simply saying bye on the telephone. I'm so glad we have that in our little family.... that is a comfort like no other in a time like this to know... that Britton knows that now & knew that when he left that Saturday morning while his Mom told him to "Be Careful" & she Loved him at least 20 times!

There is no doubt that my mind has been consumed with Britton lately as he lay here in coma. But it has also been consumed by the outpouring of love and support our Friends, Family, Community & People we don't even know have shown! This has been a very unfortunate accident that has opened a door of blessings beyond my belief! Blessings for our little family no doubt and the aforementioned as well. I have seen prayer work before my eyes, I have felt The Priesthood working like never before. I know God has a plan and I know what he sacrificed for us more than ever now! I know children's voices are the first ones that get there as their little prayers are said for Britton each and every day. People are GOOD! People are real GOOD and it just takes things like this to reaffirm that! I have never loved My Boy more than I do now, and I've never been more proud of him either. What a missionary he is, What an example he's always been! And what a feeling to know he's fighting so hard for himself & so many others that have faith in him.

Britton has a little brother named "Moose" well actually his name is Ledger! This little 8 year olds best friend is 16! It's been hard for Moose not to have his big bro come home every night and smack him around, tease him, play catch, play basketball, shoot bb guns & drink protein shakes together! Moose is a spitting image of Britt, they are built from the same mold. (and it's a handsome mold too) Both are sports fanatics, both love call of duty, both love everything their Dad loves and that makes me smile. If Britt takes his shirt off to parade around the house, so does Moose! If Britt eats a bowl of cereal at 10pm, Moose eats a bowl of cereal right by his side. If Britt likes a certain girl..... well Moose has a crush on her too! (thats the truth too) They are "PALS" in the sweetest sense. There is a song that I have always loved since the early 90's by Earl Thomas Conley & Keith Whitley called "Brotherly Love" I always dreamed I'd have boys like that song sings about someday! and I do! It depicts Britt & Moose to a tee. When Moose came to the hospital with me on Day 4 to see Britt, he pulled a little brown spongy football out of his shorts and placed it in the right hand of his "Best Friend" while he thought nobody was looking! I was looking & listening as he said "When you wake up Bud, I want you to throw this to me!" Simply put, they are "PALS"

Ledger loves Baseball, Football, Basketball, Hunting, School, Drawing, Reading and his Awesome Friends! But most of all his Big Bro #7

Britton's other brother is Bones! Bones is 13 yrs old and is just quite simply "The Man" and I mean that in more ways than one! Ya see about a year ago a 12 yr old Greyson (Bones) sat down on the couch beside me early one Saturday morning and preceded to inform me he had "HAIR". I said ya I know and rubbed his thick beautiful head of hair.... he pulled away from me  and said "No Dad... Down here" as he pointed to his mid section! This wasn't one of those... I guess ya had to be there moments to be laughing out loud.... if you know this kid! This boy is loved more in our little town as anyone thats ever roamed these streets. He is "The Man" in Santa Clara, friendly, loving and has the thickest (but cutest) pair of glasses around. When Greyson was born we found out he was born with a genetic condition called Williams Syndrome. This is a condition where there is just a little chip out of chromosome #7. Theres that #7 that binds these 2 brothers together! How ironic is that? This is also called The "Friendly Gene" and if you know our Greyson you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.
 https://williams-syndrome.org/what-is-williams-syndrome

Greyson has a nickname for Britton or "Brittney" as he calls him every time they look at each other or even just walk by each other! Theres always a smack, flip or little shove between these two, and I love it! I personally think it's Greyson being "The Man" thing with Britton? Ya see... it would rub me wrong too if my little brother that is younger hit puberty 4 years before me??? just say'n Brittney! Just some more of that brotherly love I guess?

Bones loves Old Cars (Ratt Rods), Demolition Derbys, Skateboarding, Scootering, Bass Speakers, His You Tube Scooter Videos, and anything that involves lots of People. He is such a Great friend to all his Buddies.

Now we get to the Girl that Sommer & I have had the opportunity to LOVE for 20+ years! We LOVE her even more than all of you that follow this blog believe it or not?
Our Autty is something special.... She has always been something of a spirit that is hard to describe. Her abilities physically, mentally & spiritually are second to none. This girl can play any sport to it's highest level & go toe to toe with any guy in each of them! She's hunted & harvested a 6 point bull elk and pounded the hills with me for years. She is a outstanding student with a drive to be the best at whatever she is doing. She has a testimony of The Gospel that is tried & true, with a heart that wraps you up the second you meet her. She is as beautiful as her Mother with hair that some would die for. She is tough as nails when she needs to be, but soft and subtle when needed most. She has an eye for photography & video that is able to capture a story. And a gift to put passion, true feelings & honesty into words, as you all can attest. There is no filter needed with this girl, because she has respect for herself! She knows who she is without a doubt even on bad days. Britton is one "Lucky Boy" to call her his big sister & she thinks just the opposite. She feels like the "Lucky Girl" to be his big sister. I sit in this room more often than not as she writes this blog and I cry as I'm reading it, while I'm living it. (how does that work?) She is my only daughter and we have always had a relationship that I dare say "Nobody Has" It's special in the truest form. I think as more of you have got to know our family thru Autty's blog you get the same feeling about this girl as I do. AMAZING! She just makes me smile and keeps us all so positive in such a tough time. She knows we need her here right now as much as ever, and I know she'll have to eventually return to her family in SLC "Her Team" & to The University of Utah. But for now she's where she belongs....right by Our Boy Britt's side!!!

Jesse Shipp